I sent this to one of our regular posters who will remain nameless. He suggested I put it here.
You guess who it was.
OMG she didn't take off the 710 cap!
: ^ )
A few years ago I was working in the garage and my wife got in her car to leave.
After she closed the door she opened it a few seconds later, got out, went to the storage shed and got a quart of oil and poured it in the engine. I figured she just knew it was about a quart low. She got back in the car and drove away.
Well, a couple of days later she did it again.
Before she got in to drive away I asked her about it and if it was using so much oil or what.
She said sometimes it won't even try to start but if she adds a quart of oil it always starts right away after adding it.
So I checked the oil and it was several quarts overfull.
Sometimes when she'd turn the key to start it wouldn't do a thing except click.
If she opened and slammed the hood down it would jar the starter enough to work.
I drained all the extra oil and changed the starter and that cured that problem.
I had an aunt who got a job at a garage. In those days you got driveway service and her job was to serve the petrol (sorry gas) and do the other jobs like clean the windscreen etc.
Her boss gave her initial instructions, water went in the radiator and oil went into the other place on top of the motor behind the radiator.
All was well until a car arrived without an air cleaner and a downdraught carburetor. The oil went down the carby intake. When the owner tried to start it naturally it wouldn't. it took an hour and removal of the spark plugs to pump out enough oil before the owner left in a trail of smoke.
The boss could not say much she did exactly what she was told to.
Similar story with my father --- The instructions to the new female driveway attendant were to --FILL THE CAR WITH PETROL AND ADD A PINT OF PETROL''. --- Well she filled the petrol tank and followed with the pint of oil in the same hole.
My sister in law was so proud of her new convertible, she was out in the shed cleaning and polishing. She came in an hour or so later saying she was a little concerned that it needed a bit of water. That would have been ok except the new car was an air cooled Volkswagen. She had taken the oil cap off and filled the engine with water. Thankfully she hadn't tried to start it.
well she's hot looking anyway!
I wonder what she did when the oil she poured over the engine got hot enough to start smoking. I'd like to of seen that and then come to her rescue. LOL!
reminds me of the guy who called in to "Car Talk." He had this issue of his car not starting after he went to get ice cream. If he got vanilla it wouldn't start. But if he got chocolate (or whatever it was) then it would start. After much discussion they figured out that it was a vapor lock. The chocolate ice cream was a different brand further into the store and added enough time to his trip inside the store for the line to cool enough for the vapor lock to clear. Of course the Tappit brothers had a field day examining the issue as always.
So are you talking about Royce and his Ice Cream?
I though he liked sherbert. Scott ps just funning Royce
Let's not just pick on the blonds, a neighbour had his nephew from town helping rake hay a couple of years ago. On real John Deere tractors, the fuel tank is in front of the radiator, the nephew took what he thought was the radiator cap off and when he saw there was no water in it, he got the garden hose and was in the process of filling the "radiator" when my neighbour came around the corner of the shop. At least they were able to drain the tank before he started it and filled the whole fuel system.
I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't been there myself, but you just can't make this up.
At a truck repair place I worked in, we hired a guy who supposedly worked in the motor pool in the army. His first job was to change the oil in a big Peterbilt truck. He found a drain pan (standard 10 or 12 quart variety) and loosened the plug. A big Cummins holds about 10 gallons of oil! Luckily one of the other guys saw it and was able to slide a big pan underneath before too much oil got on the floor. He got the filters changed and now it was time to fill it back up. We had some big 2 1/2 gallon jugs and he was told to put in 4 jugs which he did.
The next truck was a parcel van with a 350 Chevy engine. He had to jack it way up in the air to put that big 10 gallon drain pan under it (guess he learned his lesson) and drained 5 quarts into it. Next thing we know, he is in the office telling the foreman that 4 jugs of oil will not fit in the engine and it is overflowing from the filler hole!
I don't think he even made it a whole day in that shop.
In 1996, when Bailey was 11, I came home in a newly acquired '75 Caprice ragtop. I rode with friends to Longview, TX, and they took me the next day to see this car in Grand Saline. When we left Memphis, I knew I would either be driving it back home, or riding the Hound Dog.
The car was "Right On Time", which I was told was an east Texas expression (among others, a horse p-----g on a flat rock!), and I bought it. Even though it was a cool April afternoon, I drove it back home that night with the top down the whole way; yep, chilly!
Bailey woke me the next morning, "Dad, it's great; let's ride!" so we did. Over the next few days, Bailey examined every surface of that car and washed it spotless. After a few months, we knew we wanted to pull the engine (400 Small Block) and transmission (Turbo 350), even though it showed (and the seller affirmed it) 55,000 miles. My nephew, who has remarkably good hands, would do the work.
A few days before Joe (my nephew) was to start, I asked Bailey to put a quart of oil into the engine; he headed out of the garage with a quart of Havoline 10W-40 while I went in to wash my hands. I came back out of the house, asked Bailey, "Oil go in ok?" (Yes, he nodded) and off we went, probably to NAPA or Autozone.
We finished up and headed for the barn. When we got home, I lifted the hood to check the oil level and it was still low. I guess the quizzical expression on my face prompted Bailey to say, "Yes, Dad, I put in a quart; I'll look underneath for a leak." Before he could begin, realizing that Bailey had not ever put oil into an engine before, I asked him, "Where'd you put the oil in?" Bailey proudly pointed to the transmission dipstick. All I could do was laugh when Bailey asked, "Isn't that where it goes?" Joe, ready to pull the engine and transmission out in a few days told me much later, "It wouldn't have hurt much of anything, I don't think."
Bailey still has that car; in fact, he named his e-mail address after it, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ahh, the things we do for our children!
I can add a story. Years ago when my mom was still alive, she proudly drove a '71 Lincoln Continental. Well one day she checked the oil and found it was a quart low. She grabs a quart, and much later, like a half hour later, and after a bunch of cursing, my dad discovers her trying to dump it down the dipstick tube.
A few years back an intern at work said he was having trouble with his Escort. He said the oil was real low when he checked it. After he added "a bunch" of oil it quit running and leaked all over his mom's driveway. I went with him after work to take a look. Yep- it was full, right to the top of the valve cover. He must have dumped a half a case of extra oil in it.
Several years back, a relative of mine who wasn't too smart was looking at my dad's 1925 Model T Touring. He pointed at the radiator cap and said, "Is that where you put the gas or the oil?"
I said, "No, that's where you put the water."
He laughed at me and said, "Cars don't run on water, stupid."
When our 50 year old son, was about 7, we had a 49 Dodge pickup. One day, he came into the house beaming and told Dolores that he had put water in the pickup. She said, " What a good boy, Thank you." Next time I got in to drive it, i did get it running, but had to keep the choke out all the time even as it warmed up. Finally, I asked him where he had put the water? He pointed to the gas cap. It took some time to clean out the entire fuel system and also drain the crankcase to get all the water out!
Rick, just last saturday we took the t to the local ice cream stand and i had a gentleman do the same thing. He pointed to the moto meter and asked if it was for the gas or oil and when i told him it was for the water he just starred at me. I then had to explain that it was a radiator. His response was "oh", then walked away slightly embarassed.
all of these remind me of...
"here's your sign..."
Years ago, I used to go to airshows with my powered hangglider, we used airspeed indicators that were nothing more than a tapered tube with a disc on a wire to show air speed. I broke mine before a show, so I put a rain gauge in the bracket. The rain gauge looked very much like the airspeed indicator, and when people would ask what it was, I would tell them it was a rain gauge, then many would ask how it worked, I would show them that the rain would fall in the top and collect in the bottom, and the amount could be measured with the marks on the gauge.
She is hot, I will look past her mechanical inabilities
When I was about 3 or 4 I played service station attendant and gassed up couple of cars of Dads with the water hose.
When I was 12, I did the same with my first motorcycle. Washing the bike, tried to wash the engine too. Filled it with water, luckily my Dad came out and saw the water hose over flowing. Took awhile to git the water out, but did no harm. The motorcycle ran for many years :-)
Had a cousin who washed the car for the first time including a good hosing out of the interior.
When my grandson was about 3 or 4 I happened to look out the kitchen window. He was in the back yard sitting next to my mower very carefully adding dirt to the oil filler neck. I was able to empty it, rinse it with gasoline and put fresh oil in it without any harm.
Male chauvinist posting!!
Unless this was a staged video, I believe the young lady in it may very well be alone in her life.
I'm pretty sure that this is the young lady that was very apprehensive about taking her car in for service as she was afraid she'd be taken advantage of by the mechanic. However, she was very relieved when the mechanic told her that all her car needed was the addition of a quart of turn signal fluid!
I think she is an actress who is doing that for laughs. She must be well paid, because what blonde would want to do something so stereotypical unless it paid well.
Poor Mini, but I think Norm has nailed it....
Be careful who ya' make fun of, guys:
Back around 1962, my family had a '55 Pontiac Star-Chief that looked exactly like this:
On one occasion, when Dad had asked Mom to bring the car in for some minor maintenance, the mechanic told her, "Start the car and leave the key on," and then he walked away to get a flashlight or something.
My mother twisted the key and after the engine caught, continued to hold the key in the start position. She had misunderstood the mechanic's instructions. One can only imagine what that sounded like (I wasn't there). Well, the result was pretty much what you'd expect and that lovely car, shortly thereafter, was towed away to the junkyard.
Don't jump to an unfair conclusion. Mom was actually a pretty smart cookie, but raised during an era when boys weren't usually taught much about cooking or sewing and a young lady's education didn't stress things mechanical.
To deal with an imagined lack of natural aptitude on the part of the ladies, a short-lived but lucrative market for kitchy gadgets of questionable worth came into being. Springy stalks sprouted from the starboard bumpers as an aid to parallel-parking and some kind of orange-tipped, clear fever-thermometer appendage was attached to each of the top-front corners to help "aim" the car through tight spaces. The public bought all that stuff and the marketing genius behind it made a bunch of money.
The humorous metaphor about a man attempting to thread a needle comes to mind. Indeed, times have changed.
"Curb Feelers" we used to call them. If you talk about "Fender Skirts" kids today just look at you like your from Mars!
Well Herb, you got a hell of a run on this thread. Aren't you glad I suggested it?
You ratted yourself out on this one.
I see you are on your way to NLNB. Can someone just show up to watch?
Of course! But watch out, we'll put you to work. Lot's of stuff to do, adjusting, lubing, plus generally making up stories. I think you'll fit right in.
This year, we have some well known "celebrities" joining us, including Dean Yoder, Stan Howe, and possibly you.
I picked up this true story. An elderly lady was having trouble with her car running really roughly an cutting out when she stopped at the lights etc. Her mechanic had a look at it and could find nothing wrong, so he gave it a service while it was in the garage and called her to collect it.
He got a call next morning and the old dear was complaining of the same problem. He collected the car and had another look and still could not fault it. He called her to come and collect it again and away she went. He did notice it was a tad black in the exhaust. She was back again in minutes, reporting the car still would not drive properly.
In desperation he suggested she drive a little so he could sit in the car and see what the problem was. She agreed that was a good idea. With him in the passenger seat beside her she proceeded. First, pull out the knob marked C and hang handbag!!!!
Allan from down under.
I wonder why she would push the knob in after each drive, if all she was using it for was to hang her handbag. If she had kept it pulled out all the time, the mechanic would have had no problem determining the problem. Jim Patrick
Allan, that sounds like something straight out of the old Gus Wilson model Garage stories.
You know, not only down Under or in the US there are strange story, also here in Belgium I had some.
Once I was call for Ford 4000 tractor that didn't start. As I came there, the engine was stuck and even with a bar I could get it to turn. Check the oil and there was new fresh oil in it at the right level so I ask for the story.
The farmer told:
As usual I do the service on the tractor myself. I drain the oil, change all the filters. Before putting the drain plug back in, I make the engine run for a little time so the sludge will come out the oil pan.
I put the plug back in and fill up the oil till the right level. I Wonder what I did wrong and why the engine don't start??.
Me again, Price of this self done service:
A new short block with all the gaskets and 3 days of work.
Charlie B. that's where I read it sometime in the early sixties I think. Almost word for word. Dave