A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.
This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.
He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up..
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
An old man went to his lawyer to have a will drawn up. The lawyer informed him that the fee would be $100. This was acceptable to the client, and the job was soon done. The old gent handed the lawyer a hundred dollar bill and left. But soon the lawyer discovered that a couple of bills had stuck together and he had, in fact, received $200. This presented him with an ethical dilemma. Should he tell his partner?
I like that one Steve.
I know a few lawyers that need to hear that one just to p--s them off.
If the truth hurts... tuff.
I used to work with a LOT of lawyers and the trouble is they all tell more lawyer jokes than we do and enjoy them more than we do!
BTW What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean ... a good start!
You know what you have if you have three lawyers buried to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand!
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Just one, but you have to run him through twice!
That's cruel - but I love it!
Recently at our 40th.wedding anniversary party I was asked the secret to a long marriage. Luckily I'd looked up this joke earlier: the secret is we go out dining twice a week. She goes on Tuesday and I go on Friday.
There's an old car guy here in Surf City who's a divorce lawyer. I make sure he never meets my wife.
Some of you on this forum may know W.Q. Hall. He told me my all time favorite lawyer joke. Question: What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? Answer: One is a cold blooded, bottom feeding, scum sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Speaking of lawyers...
Two sharks are swimming together; a little shark and a daddy-shark. The daddy-shark spots a sinking motor-boat and a group of people in the water, all of whom are wearing life-jackets—and cheap sneakers, which is a dead giveaway that none are lawyers—so the game is afoot.
The daddy-shark says to the little shark, "Okay, son, this is how it's done: First, we swim a few clockwise circles around the group of people with just the tips of our dorsal fins peeking out of the water. Then, we swim several counter-clockwise circles around the group of people with our dorsal fins sticking all the way out of the water. Then, we eat them. Any questions?"
And the little shark says, "Yeah, Daddy. Why do we swim circles around them first?"
And the daddy-shark says...