So, that's first base?
or watch this
Hu's on second?
What's on second, I Dunno is on third, (not second) Who's on first.
ABBOTT: Driving a Model T is simple, Lou. You just have to remember the names of the controls. You can drive a manual transmission, right?
COSTELLO: No problem, Abbott—I learned how to drive on a stick. So okay, where's the stick?
ABBOTT: Well, there IS no stick. You put your left foot to the floor and you’re in first.
COSTELLO: With my left foot.
COSTELLO: No, you said “left.”
ABBOTT: That’s right: left.
COSTELLO: Well, which IS it?
ABBOTT: Which is what?
COSTELLO: Which is first?
ABBOTT: Your left foot.
COSTELLO: My LEFT foot.
ABBOTT: No, left.
ABBOTT: Right. And when you lift your foot, you’re in second.
COSTELLO: So, there’s no stick?
ABBOTT: No stick.
COSTELLO: Okay, what about the clutch?
ABBOTT: The clutch is the pedal on the left.
COSTELLO: Good, at least THAT'S normal.
ABBOTT: The gear-shift is the clutch.
COSTELLO: What? Let me understand this; the gear-shift is the CLUTCH?
ABBOTT: Except for reverse.
COSTELLO: And where’s THAT?
ABBOTT: Middle pedal.
COSTELLO: So the brake is really reverse.
ABBOTT: I guess you could say that.
COSTELLO: I just DID say dat!
COSTELLO: WHAT’S right?
ABBOTT: Right is the brake.
Costello: But shouldn’t that be the gas pedal?
ABBOTT: Well, that pedal actually makes the car stop.
COSTELLO: WHAT? You say the gas pedal makes it STOP? Well, if the gas pedal makes it stop, then what's that pedal in the middle?
ABBOTT: Reverse. Oh, and to put it in neutral, you pull the lever back to the middle.
COSTELLO: Okay—Well, at least that's normal—WAIT A MINUTE, ABBOTT! I thought you said there WAS no stick!
ABBOTT: Well, the stick is the brake.
COSTELLO: Hold it! You just said the brake was the gas pedal!—Then where's the gas pedal?
ABBOTT: That’s lever on the right side of the steering column.
COSTELLO: Oh! The gear shift!
ABBOTT: You shift gears with the left pedal.
COSTELLO: Yeah, the left pedal is the clutch.
COSTELLO: What?—But you said the right pedal is the brake.
ABBOTT: And when you want to shift into high, you push the big lever on the floor all the way forward.
COSTELLO: But you said that was the brake, Abbott.
IN UNISON: Right.
Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.
Throw in a foot feed throttle, a 3 speed auxiliary transmission and a Ruckstell rear end and I doubt if any of us could teach Costello to drive it.
That was great, Bob. I was going to read it to Teresa, but she hasn't decided to try to learn to drive HER car yet. (the touring we take on tours is her grandpa's that he bought used in '26.)
Opening Day for the N.Y. Mets..... Gotta Believe.