From a correspondent:
WHAT'S THAT OLD SAYING?...
"ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!"
YEAH, THAT'S IT...
(Man that REALLY IS a cool looking Ford ain't it! Ooops!)
Through the eyes of a man...
A wife was curious when she found two old negatives in a drawer and had them made into prints. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first
dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up.
"Wow, look at that!", he said with appreciation, "That's my old Ford!".
Perfect. Put her in her place!
Looks like there is some teamwork smoking going on....
Looks like one of those old motor courts.
"WHAT'S THAT OLD SAYING?... "
Put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion.
Dad used to teach a class called "Guy 101." He was the master of handling such loaded questions as, "Which dress should I wear to the wedding, the pink one or the green one?"
To that, Dad replied, "The green one makes you look even thinner."
"Even." One little word that meant the difference between war and peace. But when you're a man, there's just no winning. When Mom and Dad arrived at the wedding, the backs of all the chairs were upholstered in the same material as Mom's dress.
So what's the diplomatic way to be honest and answer her question when she asks "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" LIE!! God will understand!
One day, back when I used to have a job, one of the women walked in wearing a pretty dress. I said," You look nice today!" Her reply was, "Don't I always look nice?", and stomped off. After that whenever I saw a woman at the office, I just said, "good morning" or Hello.
My wife asked me if she looked fat--I answered with do I look stupid?
Norm, you should have added the word "extra" before the word "nice". May have helped, but could simply have been stepping in a different trap too.
How well did that work for you Tim?
My father had a saying that has gotten me out of more than one sticky situation. Listen with your ears and not your mouth. Also the answer to do these jeans make me look fat is not "no, your ass makes you look fat"
Rob, reminds me of another non-recommended reply, "Its not the jeans".
Favorite bumper sticker going around here:
(Insert Pic of any Hated Political Figure)
Does this Ass Make My Truck Look Fat?
Woman looking in the mirror: I look fat.
Husband: But your eyesight is perfect.