New Model T product. Square pistons

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Model T Ford Forum: Forum 2014: New Model T product. Square pistons
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Will Copeland - Trenton, New Jersey on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 08:54 am:

I'm soon going to introduce my new Model T after market product. This will be the best product for your Model T since sliced bread. You ask what this new wonder product is, High tech flexible square pistone's! Because of a computer micro chip embedded in the casting of the piston it can run your car even without a E timer or spark plugs. Just cut the wires and place an old Anderson timer in place just for looks. No need of ever buying an E timer or those expensive Champion X two piece spark plugs ever again. The pistons are made of high tech lightweight Magnesium so as the engine warms up the microchip placed in the high tech Magnesium alloy it allows the Magnesium based pistons to burn at an incredulity high temperatures forcing the water in your fuel system to turn the water based fuel into hydrogen gas thus improving your fuel mileage and depending on how much water that is in your fuel system it can improve your horsepower by over 500%, When was the last time you were able to do wheelies with your old Model T? Just imagine the look on that poor Lamborghini driver when you leave him covered in oil and sawdust from your wooden spokes. But wait there's more, Order now and I will include the new and improved easy installation pistons. Just sit them on top of the engine head and they work automatically. This product is so technically highly advanced you don't even need to take them out of the box, In fact I highly recommend that you never open the box, Just set the box on the back seat and the product automatically operates your model T right from your back seat. This high tech product will even learn your driving habits and in time and will start your car as you walk up to it. Just clap twice and its running and waiting for to go for an amazing drive. You will never need to get your hands greasy ever again. For only 20 payments of $600,000 American dollars I will send these amazing pistons to you within 5 to ten years depending on where you live. But wait there's more! if you include an additional $1 million dollars in your first payment You will receive the new automatic system that allows you to drive your Model T from the comfort of your own easy chair. Amaze your friends when you pull up to a grand tour and you're still home enjoying a cold beverage of your choice. Because of the highly secure nature of this product you need to include all your families your Address, Social Security Numbers, Drivers license number, Date of births, Bank account and credit card numbers and the names and type of your pets. Please send all information to the King of Scam, P.O. 666, Top Of The World, North Pole 12345. Thank you and may the glory Santa Claus be with.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mark Strange on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 09:25 am:

sarcasm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mike Walker, NW AR on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 09:28 am:

Cute. :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Richard Eagle Ida Fls on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 09:35 am:

It certainly seems worth the money. Will I need to use a waterpump with it?

Rich


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By rick howerton on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:14 am:

What are you some kind of a nut? Are you bored?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Bob Taylor on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:22 am:

I'd like to see how the cylinders get bored.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mark Strange on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:31 am:

Here is some info on the Dake square piston engine, according to the website the design was patented in 1888.

http://muskegonheritage.org/Dake%20Engine%20description/Dake%20Engine%20page.htm l


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By George_Cherry Hill NJ on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:34 am:

Bob,

Apparently the Chinese already know how to bore square holes?

http://www.wimp.com/squareholes/


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Zachary Dillinger on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:44 am:

Easy... go to about 12:56 in this episode of the Woodwright's Shop and watch all the way to the end, then go out and build a massive metal-cutting Passer drill.

http://video.pbs.org/video/2365004978/


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Ken Todd on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:47 am:

Methinks Will forgot to take his medications.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Gary Schreiber- Santa Isabel Ecuador on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 10:55 am:

I just sent in my first payment and pertinent info. I'm hoping to find the remains of a T by the time my new pistons arrive!! I'm so excited :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Norman T. Kling on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 11:25 am:

Now I know why you want to move to Florida! :-)
Norm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dave Dufault on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 11:38 am:

George,

Imagine what the brains in the USA could do if they were devoted to peacetime work for the benefit of mankind (womankind?) instead of war, graft, corruption, and the benefit of self.

The USA was great at one time...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Frank Harris from Long Beach & Big Bear on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 12:05 pm:

That piston is only called a piston because it pushes the crank shaft. It slides rather than moving up and down in a cylinder. I would call it a valve because it simply opens and closes ports in a chamber.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mike Zahorik on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 12:32 pm:

IS this some kind of test to see if some Model T nuts can put a round piston in a square hole?
Mike


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Terry Woods, Richmond, Texas on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 12:39 pm:

You didn't mention it, so I assume one size piston adapts to any over bore. Will they expand enough to use in a Cummins diesel pickup? No, I don't have one; just asking for a friend.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mark Strange on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 12:42 pm:

Another square piston engine, this one is a two-stroke:

http://thekneeslider.com/the-hossack-engine-a-square-piston-two-stroke/


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Terry Woods, Richmond, Texas on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 12:47 pm:

Will, You previously wrote a post about having too many old cars. Guess what? You not only have too many cars (I'll handle shipping to Texas if you're giving any away), but it is obvious from this post that you have too much spare time, too. Either buy more cars that need a total restoration or start hanging out in bars or gentlemen's clubs until 2 AM. That should take care of your spare time for inventing things such as magnesium square pistons.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Hal Davis-SE Georgia on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 12:48 pm:

Like I told someone else the other day. You had better watch your step or you will get a reputation.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Ricks - Surf City on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 01:23 pm:

What do they need for lubrication, Milk of Magnesia?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Zachary Dillinger on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 01:27 pm:

Ricks - Surf City on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 01:23 pm:
What do they need for lubrication, Milk of Magnesia?

Negative... they use John Wayne's tears. Too bad The Duke never cried.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Garnet on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 01:40 pm:

If you can't pack Redneck grease into it - it ain't worth nuthin'. Besides, any respectable dealer lives in Nigeria - everybody knows that!

Garnet


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Ricks - Surf City on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 01:44 pm:

Don't get me started on that lousy actor. He always had short lines because that's all he could remember. I had to sit through an Army recruiting movie showing him in jungle fatigues, purportedly in Vietnam.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By John Semprez-Templeton, CA on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 04:45 pm:

Hey watch it Ralph! John Wayne gave me the largest tip I had ever received parking cars when I was a kid in high school... $5.00... when two bits was the norm!

I later took that $5.00 and parlayed it into two Model T,s and a brand new Porsche 911, all by the time I was 20! (The first part was true, the second part took a lot of hard work).


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Terry Woods, Richmond, Texas on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 04:58 pm:

I always thought that baseball, apple pie, and John Wayne were all in the same hierarchy.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Jamie Holmes on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 05:14 pm:

Perhaps it an update to the original Hossack Engine design ??

http://thekneeslider.com/the-hossack-engine-a-square-piston-two-stroke/


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Harold Schwendeman - Sumner,WA on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 07:50 pm:

"Why,.....I oughta',......but I won't! (Pause) "The hell I won't!" *SMACK*!!! And another bad guy bites the dust!

I think "the Duke" got that corny line (at least once) into just about every movie he ever made!

Not the best actor, by far,.....and always walked like his underwear was too tight!

Often wonder why he was so successful,.....???


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