I'm soon going to introduce my new Model T after market product. This will be the best product for your Model T since sliced bread. You ask what this new wonder product is, High tech flexible square pistone's! Because of a computer micro chip embedded in the casting of the piston it can run your car even without a E timer or spark plugs. Just cut the wires and place an old Anderson timer in place just for looks. No need of ever buying an E timer or those expensive Champion X two piece spark plugs ever again. The pistons are made of high tech lightweight Magnesium so as the engine warms up the microchip placed in the high tech Magnesium alloy it allows the Magnesium based pistons to burn at an incredulity high temperatures forcing the water in your fuel system to turn the water based fuel into hydrogen gas thus improving your fuel mileage and depending on how much water that is in your fuel system it can improve your horsepower by over 500%, When was the last time you were able to do wheelies with your old Model T? Just imagine the look on that poor Lamborghini driver when you leave him covered in oil and sawdust from your wooden spokes. But wait there's more, Order now and I will include the new and improved easy installation pistons. Just sit them on top of the engine head and they work automatically. This product is so technically highly advanced you don't even need to take them out of the box, In fact I highly recommend that you never open the box, Just set the box on the back seat and the product automatically operates your model T right from your back seat. This high tech product will even learn your driving habits and in time and will start your car as you walk up to it. Just clap twice and its running and waiting for to go for an amazing drive. You will never need to get your hands greasy ever again. For only 20 payments of $600,000 American dollars I will send these amazing pistons to you within 5 to ten years depending on where you live. But wait there's more! if you include an additional $1 million dollars in your first payment You will receive the new automatic system that allows you to drive your Model T from the comfort of your own easy chair. Amaze your friends when you pull up to a grand tour and you're still home enjoying a cold beverage of your choice. Because of the highly secure nature of this product you need to include all your families your Address, Social Security Numbers, Drivers license number, Date of births, Bank account and credit card numbers and the names and type of your pets. Please send all information to the King of Scam, P.O. 666, Top Of The World, North Pole 12345. Thank you and may the glory Santa Claus be with.
It certainly seems worth the money. Will I need to use a waterpump with it?
What are you some kind of a nut? Are you bored?
I'd like to see how the cylinders get bored.
Here is some info on the Dake square piston engine, according to the website the design was patented in 1888.
Apparently the Chinese already know how to bore square holes?
Easy... go to about 12:56 in this episode of the Woodwright's Shop and watch all the way to the end, then go out and build a massive metal-cutting Passer drill.
Methinks Will forgot to take his medications.
I just sent in my first payment and pertinent info. I'm hoping to find the remains of a T by the time my new pistons arrive!! I'm so excited
Now I know why you want to move to Florida!
Imagine what the brains in the USA could do if they were devoted to peacetime work for the benefit of mankind (womankind?) instead of war, graft, corruption, and the benefit of self.
The USA was great at one time...
That piston is only called a piston because it pushes the crank shaft. It slides rather than moving up and down in a cylinder. I would call it a valve because it simply opens and closes ports in a chamber.
IS this some kind of test to see if some Model T nuts can put a round piston in a square hole?
You didn't mention it, so I assume one size piston adapts to any over bore. Will they expand enough to use in a Cummins diesel pickup? No, I don't have one; just asking for a friend.
Another square piston engine, this one is a two-stroke:
Will, You previously wrote a post about having too many old cars. Guess what? You not only have too many cars (I'll handle shipping to Texas if you're giving any away), but it is obvious from this post that you have too much spare time, too. Either buy more cars that need a total restoration or start hanging out in bars or gentlemen's clubs until 2 AM. That should take care of your spare time for inventing things such as magnesium square pistons.
Like I told someone else the other day. You had better watch your step or you will get a reputation.
What do they need for lubrication, Milk of Magnesia?
Ricks - Surf City on Thursday, July 31, 2014 - 01:23 pm:
What do they need for lubrication, Milk of Magnesia?
Negative... they use John Wayne's tears. Too bad The Duke never cried.
If you can't pack Redneck grease into it - it ain't worth nuthin'. Besides, any respectable dealer lives in Nigeria - everybody knows that!
Don't get me started on that lousy actor. He always had short lines because that's all he could remember. I had to sit through an Army recruiting movie showing him in jungle fatigues, purportedly in Vietnam.
Hey watch it Ralph! John Wayne gave me the largest tip I had ever received parking cars when I was a kid in high school... $5.00... when two bits was the norm!
I later took that $5.00 and parlayed it into two Model T,s and a brand new Porsche 911, all by the time I was 20! (The first part was true, the second part took a lot of hard work).
I always thought that baseball, apple pie, and John Wayne were all in the same hierarchy.
Perhaps it an update to the original Hossack Engine design ??
"Why,.....I oughta',......but I won't! (Pause) "The hell I won't!" *SMACK*!!! And another bad guy bites the dust!
I think "the Duke" got that corny line (at least once) into just about every movie he ever made!
Not the best actor, by far,.....and always walked like his underwear was too tight!
Often wonder why he was so successful,.....???