In the OT Model K Roadster part 3 thread Harold made a comment about Richard saying he had dyslexia.
This made me think about a spoonerism that I made up the other day.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis) between two words in a phrase.
So in honor of bad puns I submit mine.
I was thinking of what is called "The affliction" on this forum, and how it is a "bad habit" or another description might be that you "had babit"
If you don't like it can you do better?
Herb, I was unable to attend the Model T Museum swap meet due to exturnuating stinkumstances.
I've used that one for years. First time I ever tried to spell it.
Stinkumstances...hmmm a certain way you stand and I wouldn't want to be around?
My ex had a funny habit of talking sideways like that. It infuriated her, but some were really funny.
My favorite was "fecal position", as in, "The body was found curled up in the fecal position".
Strangely, this use, while not the original intended, remains fairly accurate. We've all been there.
Not quite a spoonerism, but...
My brother-in-law was telling us about his daughter getting a job in an office, answering phones and greeting visitors. He proudly said she was working at the trash company as a "receptacle."
Spooner or later we all hear one.
A lady I worked with was on her way to a Rubbish Sale. (Rummage sale)
My favorite actor is "Sulvestosterone."
A friend had a Johns Mansfield speedometer on his T.
Did you watch Polish the tight rope walker the other day? Les Lawenda.
Dyslexia is rather fun.
Dyslexic people of the world...Untie!
If I can get my tang un-tungled from my eye teeth I will see what I am trying to say!
Out here in the Pacific Northwest, we drive in the light rain,...oops,....I mean the right lane,.....well actually,.....both!
I used to work with a fellow who was notorious for mangling the language. Somebody began writing down things they'd heard Murphy say. The list became known as "Murphyisms" and the last I knew it contained about 60 quotes. My favorites were:
1. Relating an illness of one of his friends, he said, "It was so bad they took him to Caesar's Cyanide Hospital." (Cedars Sinai)
2. When discussing an upcoming problem on a project he was working on, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to the other side."
3. "I've been home with the flu all week. When I got home Monday I felt so bad I just flopped down on the couch. At bedtime I felt too bad to get up and go to bed so my wife just threw an african on me."
Dick Fischer - Yeah,....I know just what you mean. we worked with a fellow who constantly "butchered" the English language in a similar way as the fellow you mentioned. This guy was a constant source of "entertainment" in our office! I can think of a couple examples:
He talked about an oil leak he'd fixed on his car by putting "blistex" on the gasket! Of course we knew he meant Permatex.
In a law enforcement office such as ours, the mention of the county prosecutor which he ALWAYS referred to as the county prostitutor.
When speaking of the department's dental & medical plan, he'd always refer to it as "mental & dentical".
One of my favorites was an expression that he used a lot,....one of us would say something, and he'd reply with something like,....."well, that's a "forlorn conclusion".
Yeah, when John retired, we lost not only a great working associate, but also a great form of "office entertainment"!
and from Yogi Berra It's like deja-vu, all over again.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/y/yogi_berra.html#DCCKAC5irTkD44eR.99
What I just wrote is (and was) humorous, however, on a more serious note, it was interesting that John obviously had no idea that he mis-pronounced many words, because in his reports and other correspondence, he would write things just exactly as the humorous words and terms that I wrote in my post above. So obviously, his mis-pronounced words not only "sounded" right to him, but they also looked right when he wrote them! As you said about your friend Dick, this fellow I mentioned had at least 50 or 60 or maybe even more of them! I could probably think of a few more, but frankly, some of them are really not really "printable". (John would not have realized that either!) Somebody in our general office must have had a great time in "correcting" John's reports!
Herb - I don't mean to change the subject here, but this all makes me think of something that really "bugs" me. There are a few words that many, if not MOST people mis-pronounced (or is it "mispronounced"),.....whatever.......
Anyway, so many people say that something "jives" with something else. It's JIBE,....not jive.
And it's not a "mute" point,.....it's a MOOT point!
Okay,.....sorry,......back to "spoonerisms",.....fun thread Herb!
I know a Model T guy who refers to his timer as the "commentator."
Yes, Harold, and it's not "First come, first serve," it's "First come, first served." When I was in the Air Force, I also often heard "mandantory" and "pacifically" (as in "what pacifically do you mean?").
Dick - We gotta' be careful here or we'll change the direction of Herb's thread, and it is a fun thread that I'd like to see continued, however, there's another example of a commonly used phrase whereby some people really have no idea what they're saying:
There are so many people that say,....."I could care less!" I really don't think those people are trying to say that they could actually care a little bit more if they tried hard enough!
I believe that the phrase stated correctly is,....."I couldn't care less!" Meaning that they really don't care AT ALL!
I think this came up in discussion on this forum some time ago,.......harold
Ah Harold, that's a bunch of Jibe talk!
Ya know?? (AAUGH!!! who started that expression!!)
Guess I'll be moot on that though. . .
Deweyism: Ya can lead a horse to drink, but ya can't make him water!
Thanks. Today, I really needed the chuckle.
I guess you could say that some people need to jump all over others that "misropounce" on a word.
In my family, as long as I can remember, UPS has been called the "Untied Parcel Service". And sometimes they are.
Drive carefully, and enjoy, W2
Just thought of another one that my old friend John (now deceased) used to say,....."Presturbian" (Prez-tur-bee-an) for Presbyterian.
Hope nobody takes me as being critical, as I'm one of the worst offenders, having grown up near Chicago, I'm sure I mispronounce about every third word or so, almost as bad as summa' dem guys I grew up wit!
(.....altho' I am getting better,....I didn't say "turd" word like summa' dem Chicago guys! And I don't "trow da ball eeder!)
Harold, you reminded of the Chicago taxi driver who was asked, "Do you go tru de loop?"
Nope, I go tra-la-la.
My fav is the morning traffic girl, one of her favorite word inserts during a normal traffic report will be to add the words "non the less" the roads are bla bla bla. "Non the less" means absolutely nothing makes no sense and is jibberish.
I hold "professional" publications to a higher standard than individuals, and I see this:
not Preventative - - it's Preventive.
not Orientate - - it's Orient.
"at this point in time" - - it's NOW.
Every time my spell checker sees Paypal, it changes it to Papal.
A director of nursing we know is constantly coming up with new things. I wish we had recorded them. A clasic was a blend of medicine and aged care. She reported to us about funeral reading as "moving eurology"
Allan from down under.
Speaking of medical terms; they invented a new one after Chewbaca punctured my feeding tube:
I worked with a woman who told me she had "carpal, tunnel vision" in both wrists. Another woman told me her dad had "both lungs removed twice", not sure what that one was about. In a micro-biology department another woman asked me what type of orgasm was growing in the petri dish.
I'd examine that Petri dish very carefully!!
Wayne, here is a Partial Post.
Just remembered my favorite: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Henry, I though it was a Pee-Tree dish.
Or is that the one in the Lava-Tree?
When we first moved to Somerset KY my wife was "volunteered" to be Sunday School Superintendent.
She asked a lady if she would like to be a Sunday School teacher and the reply was "I wouldn't care to."
My wife replied, "That is is OK. I can find someone else."
The lady looked frustrated and replied, "I said that I wouldn't care to!"
Who would have guessed that it meant that she would do it?
One fellow at work told another that he heard his wife was a Thespian at which the second took a swing at him.
I just read the post about the broken fan blade and now have a pair of niods.
I guess it is better than having only one noid
Hey Ralph,.....how about "not uncommon"? Seems to me that just means common, right?
Concerned about my current mental state, friends say I could end up with serious rubber cushions.
A slight side step in the missed-steps of language, deliberate and otherwise. I am a long-time fan of Walt Kelly and Pogo. No one was better at twisting the American language than he. Some of them are downright horribobble. One could fill a book with them by reading a few of his books.
I often still use them in daily conversation, sometimes without even thinking about it. I call them "Pogoisms".
Richard E, I don't know why some people get so upset or insulted at that word. Maybe they just need to act a bit more responsibly?
Drive carefully, and enjoy, W2
Wayne, I knew there were other reasons to like you. My Dad would try to read Pogo to us, but kept busting up & I did the same thing to my Little Sister (8 years younger) I still have a copy of Pogo Just So Stories and Stepmother Goose.
"God isn't dead, he's merely unemployed."
This reminds me, a guy goes to see his Doctor,"Doc, I can't get this song out of my head, what can I do?"
"What's the Song?"
"Green, Green Grass of Home"
"Hmm, sounds like Tom Jones syndrome"
"Oh, is that rare?"
"It's not Unusual"
Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck!!
A spoonerism most people use without realizing it is one is Butterfly. In England a well known and well connected minister named Reverend Spooner was known for mixing the beginning syllable of words. Since he was well known his mixups were well publicized and became known as Spoonerisms. It then became a fad amongst the society set to repeat his or make some up of their own. One that stuck was the Spoonerism for Flutterby, as the pretty winged insects were then known. It became so popular that it stuck and for the last 150 years they have been known as Butterflys. (actually, this probably happened long before Spooner but he is given credit for it whether erroneously or not. It makes a good story and he certainly was well known for mixing things up)
Check it out, there is a whole book about word origins with a section on Rev Spooner and his malapropisms.
(In one of my former lives I was a 5th grade teacher for several years. The kids loved studying word origins and particularly like learning about Rev Spooner)
My favorite Spoonerism?? He once referred to the Queen of England as "Our queer old dean."
I have a doctor friend who had a patient come in saying she felt terrible,
and she thought she had "Sick as Hell Anemia"
Near where I live is a small semi-redneck community called Creston. I have been calling adjustable open end wrenches commonly called Cresent Wrenches Creston Wrenches for years.
Out for a dinner at a seafood restaurant my sister in law proclaimed to those present she was having trouble sucking the meat out of the Lobsters testicles. We suppose she meant tentacles.
When my daughter was younger she liked going to Okaloma on car tours. She also liked to hornk the horn.
How much is really 'immanerial'? And remember: 'When drinking, DRIVE, don't park. Accidents cause people!' Thanks for posting the many chuckles!
Ah Wayne, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who misses Walt Kelly and Pogo.
My favorite Pogo quote, "We have met the enemy and he is us."
Didn't someone axed that question before ?
Robert and Wayne seems I've heard a lot more about Pogo on this forum than in many years, so as a reminder Friday the 13th comes on Thursday this month!
Stan, I love the flutterby story, but I suspect it's urban legend. If you Google "flutterby oed", you'll see references to the term in the Oxford English Dictionary. Apparently the word "butterfly" - not "flutterby" - can be traced back to old English of a thousand years ago, was used by Chaucer and Shakespeare long before Spooner, and had equivalent words in Dutch and German with the exact same etymology. But I've long thought "flutterby" was a better and more descriptive word.
"(actually, this probably happened long before Spooner but he is given credit for it whether erroneously or not. It makes a good story and he certainly was well known for mixing things up)"
Ever teach ten year olds?? I thought not.
Did you really think I didn't know that?????
By Bob Jablonski on Tuesday, November 11, 2014 - 06:25 am:
Didn't someone axed that question before ?
Yo Dog, don' b hatin' on m' cuz's like dat. I b puttin'a cap in yo azz ! No wut on sain, G ?
Sometimes, I get my merds wixed up.
I think it could more accurately be called "road constriction"
If get into Harley's, life can become one vicious cycle after another.
Technically, alcohol is a solution.
I can't post it here, but if you ever see me in person and ask me about buying two tickets to Pittsburgh, I'll tell you a really funny story about a word mixup.
I once heard of a barn fresh car with bale headlights.
I gave a form of Dyslexia and other that a minor peach inspedement you would never know, I would also give my right arm to be Ambidextrous.
from the internets:
It had to happen!!
These suggest we are all fed up with the endless news bulletins!!
· Oscar wanted to get a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it.
Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine's Day he had to take her out.
If he gets off this charge it will be the closest shave anyone has had with only 2 blades.
His lawyer's got a hard job ahead of him. Realistically, it looks like Pistorius hasn't got a leg to stand on.
Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty due to temporary diminished responsibility. He claims he was legless at the time of the incident.
Whatever happens in court, he still has a career. The IOC say he's a front runner at the next Olympics for pistol shooting.
Police reconstruction indicates that Pistorius lost it when, for his Valentine's Day gift, his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks.
New Valentine's Day card: "Roses are red, violets are glorious.
Never creep up on Oscar Pistorius."
Looks like he has an expensive lawyer.
I hope he can foot the bill.
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder … footprints !
She didn't notice Oscar stalking her..
It was the silence of the limbs.
Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic!
At one time I lived on McPhillips road (in Manitoba, but please don't hold that agin me) so we always called the screwdrivers McPhillips instead of phillips.
Two ladies were talking to one another in church and one lady asked the other one . . . " Who's the pregnant looking gentleman with the golden testicles urinating up and down the isles ?" The other lady replied "Why hones he's the rectum of the church would you like to be seduced ?"
Whenever I mix up a number, I tell people I have Lexdexia.
Ken, I was taught that vodka and orange juice is a screwdriver.
Vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia is a Philips screw driver.
Hear about the dyslexic agnostic?
He spent his whole life looking for his dog!
"Vodka and prune juice?" Is that a 'can opener' or a 'pile driver'?????
We were always having to tell people how to get to our office, it seems like one of the people answering the phone would say to come down Millerbrook Pike (Middlebrook) to Elmhurst (Amherst), people were driving all over.
Neighbor down the street had a sign up... "Purebred barn cats for sale".
This one just dropped in my inbox, with a few others I will save for later!
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
A South Pacific island chief liked thrones, so he attacked the neighbor islands and took their thrones.
He stashed them in the rafters of his house and one day the rafters gave way and he was killed by the falling thrones.
People who live in grass houses shouldn't store thrones.
OK, here's another, mathematicians will love this one!
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin,one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws
of the other two hides.
When watering the outside plants, my wife always asks me to hand her the "nose hozzel".
I tell my Japanese daughter-in-law that, opposed to the way they drive in her country, over here, we drive in the "light rain",....er.....I mean the "right lane",.....well, actually in the Pacific Northwest,......BOTH!
When my daughter was little she always wanted to wear "jue beans" and "tony pails" she meant blue jeans and pony tails.
My Grandmother used to call my Camaro a "Camerio" and she called Elvis " Evelis" and aluminum "aluminal" lol and she used to say " my nose is itchin, somebody's comin" My Grandfather used to say " I'll be there dreckly" and I do know someone who calls a timer a "communicator". I still call wasps " waspers" because my Grandfather did. Not spoonerisms but fond memories....
When my now 15 year old grandson was about 3 he somehow got into our pantry and climbed up on the shelf edges. From near the top he slipped and fell to the floor taking a bunch of cans and other stuff with him making a great racket in the process. Fortunately he wasn't hurt. When my wife pulled him out of the pile he created his comment was, "That scared me outa my crap!!!!
We still use that expression and get a chuckle out of it.
From the mouths of young ones comes the truth. Thanks for sharing.
Another grandson comment:
When my now 18 year old oldest grandson was about 4 he had climbed up on a stool and was making a move for the counter top as my wife went by with a load of laundry in her arms. Seeing what he was doing she said, "NICK, get down from there before you fall!" She was no sooner done saying it when down he went with a crash. After about 2 seconds he said, "Too late."
I have a good friend that tells one that I really get a kick out of:
His wife sent Ken to the grocery store and he took his 4 year old grandson with him. With his shopping cart, Ken accidently bumped a display of canned goods which fell to the floor with a crash, at which time the little guy looks up at Grandpa and with a straight face, he hollers,......."REE-calculating!"
An Eskimo sitting in his kayak got chilly so he lit a fire in the craft. It caught fire and sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too!
(Message edited by esole on November 15, 2014)
And then there was the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper who sold his soul to Santa...
Or the Dyslexic Pimp who bought himself a Warehouse...
Or the Dyslexic agnostic insomniac who lay awake at night wondering if there was a dog...
Does DNA stand for National Dyslexics Association?
Used to know a fellow named Eric Landon, one evening we were sitting around having a few beers when Eric decided to stand up on the coffee table and recite some poetry. Waving his arms around to accentuate the poetry, he lost his balance and fell to the floor. Hit the floor and uttered the word crash.
So naturally after that we called him Crash Landon.
Hey Russell, I really like the personal quote on your profile. That's great!
My Favourite spoonerism was a character in a British comedy series called Cupid Stunt.
Trespassers will be violated!
Violators will be trespassed!