OT Blond Mortician - Joke

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Model T Ford Forum: Forum 2015: OT Blond Mortician - Joke
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Steven Thum on Friday, January 02, 2015 - 09:10 pm:

BLONDE MORTICIAN


A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied... You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'




















'So I just switched the heads.'


Bet you didn't see that one coming.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mark Gregush Portland Oregon on Friday, January 02, 2015 - 11:23 pm:

Nope! LOL


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Norman T. Kling on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 12:15 pm:

Reminds me of a friend in high school who got a job in a florist shop. One day he made a delivery of a corsage to a mortuary. The mortician showed him a body in a casket and said, "pin it on her." My friend was fiddling with a pin trying very hard to get it through her clothing without sticking her. The mortician said, "this is how we do it" and took the pin and stuck it right into her body.
Norm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 12:43 pm:

I didn't see it coming because I didn't scroll down far
enough to see the punch line, so I was thinking I missed
something and needed to read it a second time !


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dennis Seth - Ohio on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 12:55 pm:

My sister-in-law who owned a beauty shop would often be called by one of the local morticians to do the hair of the deceased. She said she liked it because the pay was good, the customer never complained, and they always held very still!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Aaron Griffey, Hayward Ca. on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 01:02 pm:

I've had a few friends that were morticians, they are the last people to let you down.

heard that joke in St. Paul back in '63.
I've told it several times since.
You need to be careful who hears you tell it though.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Eugene Adams on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 03:04 pm:

blond


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By John H. Nichols on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 06:57 pm:

I had a classmate in High school whose parents owned one of the local funeral parlors in Carthage. Every time he heard a mortician joke, we would hear the next day. I wish I could remember one to include here, but C.R.S. has set in.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By tim moore, "Island City" MI on Saturday, January 03, 2015 - 07:08 pm:

A woman returned from lunch and had a note to return a phone call from Myra Mains. She called the phone number (a local funeral home) and was confused asking to speak with "my remains" . The director (whom I know) found it quite funny.

Tim Moore


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mark Williamson - NSW, Australia on Tuesday, January 06, 2015 - 01:30 pm:

Tim,

My father once had a message to return a call from Amanda Rheen. The number was for a green grocer and he call asking to speak with "a mandarin". I'm not sure if this only makes sense with Australian pronunciation.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By James Baker on Tuesday, January 06, 2015 - 01:41 pm:

My wife is a funeral director/ mortician I will share this joke with her. Thanks James


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dick Lodge - St Louis MO on Tuesday, January 06, 2015 - 01:52 pm:

A store that was doing well moved to a larger building a few blocks away. Among the various congratulations they received was a floral arrangement with a card that read "Deepest Sympathy." When they contacted the florist about the error, he was very upset. They assured him they didn't mind the mixup, and he said, "You're not the one I'm worried about. In a funeral home somewhere in town, there are flowers with a card that reads, 'Lots of luck in your new location!'"


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Seth from NC on Tuesday, January 06, 2015 - 02:33 pm:

HAHA Dick - that's fantastic.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By brass car guy on Tuesday, January 06, 2015 - 11:41 pm:

Our friend and noted Mercury body expert J Erickson told me a story about when his mother was attending the University of Washington.

Jarvies mother and her best girl friend often double dated. They were out and about young ladies that attracted more than a few young men.

When the girl whose name was Bonny Watson, was asked for her phone number she quickly gave it out to her new male friends.

Now as Paul Harvey used to say "the rest of the story". The phone number she gave so willingly, was that of Seattle's oldest and most respected funeral home, you guessed it Bonny Watson.

just sayin'

brasscarguy


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