I quit at 100. It seems to me the big ones are easier to hit.
When I pushed out to Camp Aziz Ullah, I discovered the place had no PX,
no chow hall, no PO, and no laundry service. Just some laundry machines
in a plywood shed. No big deal if you know this before you leave a larger
camp and BRING some soap ! But I digress ...
The problem was I came in off a two week mission in the same clothes
and it took another week to get soap sent out on a bird. It was hot as hell,
and I stunk like ripe roadkill. When the soap did show, I beat feet with every
piece of clothing I was packing and discovered the laundry building was
COVERED in flies. I mean every square inch of the place had 20 or more
flies ! I've never seen anything like it. The swarm was deafening.
So, I got a couple loads going and wandered down to the TOC where I'd
seen a couple fly swatters hung on a nail and walked back up to the laundry
to kill some time killing flies.
Now, waiting for laundry machines ranks WAY up there on the boring scale,
but with the distraction of swatting flies, the time passed quickly, and after
a couple hours I was actually having to hunt them. Before I left, the only flies
in the building were those sneaking in the doors when opened. I cannot imagine
how many flies were killed in that operation, but single swats were dropping a
dozen or more before I whittled the numbers down. Just before I left, the floor
cruched and looked like it had 3/4" of gravel on it. I swept the mess out the
door and made a pile four feet across, ten inches wide, and probably about
as tall ! It was amazing.
When I was in the Army, I spent two years in West Germany. West Germany? Anybody remember that? Sounds funny today, huh? Anyway, their houseflies looked just like our houseflies, but they were SLOW! I mean SLOW! Here, you can seldom ever be quick enough to swat a fly with your bare hand, and misses are pretty common even with a fly swatter. The German flies? You could almost just mash them like ants. Well, maybe not THAT slow, but certainly slow enough that swatting them with your hand was hardly sporting.
Hal - I was in the Army in West Germany also, but I don't remember any flies. I served for 2 1/2 years in Kitzingen and Furth and enjoyed it very much. This was peace time in Germany and just before Viet Nam began. Being of German descent, this was good duty.
I was in Kitzingen as well, but in the mid 80's. Peacetime as well, unless you count the terrorist bombings at Rhine/Main. Had 2-3 of those while I was there.
I served several months stationed on the DMZ. The flies there were so big and so plentiful we armed them with M-79 Bloopers and pointed them toward Laos. Man what a battle ensued. For months casualties came flying back over the Laos/Viet Nam border as the battle fought on. Yet every day thousands more flew out of Dong Ha, Khe Sanh, Vandergrift and Quang Tri. At night the NVA would break through and across the border and attempt raids on our LZ's. Yet the battle continued. Then things started to go bad. The flies started coming back across the border in long ragged lines. They were flying low and slow. Those that couldn't fly were coming across on the backs of others. The shame we felt for the flies, these mighty warriors, was overwhelming and in the end we stood down and headed back South through Phu Bai and Danang. Though I have very little respect for flies these days I'll never forget my time spent in the jungles of Viet Nam watching these brave little soldiers as they flew off to do battle with a much superior enemy.
Yup,Talk about flies when i was in Wildflicken i held Grants horse!!!!! Nothing nice about these frosty mornings,i have yet to see this years first fly! At Chevy we had a boss we called the human fly because he ate crap and bothered people!! Bud in Wheeler,Mi.bud
In 1959 I was in Australia and went out to Ayers Rock. Now there are daily jets from everywhere, but in 1959 you flew out from Alice Springs in a four-seat Cessna 180 and landed on a little strip next to the rock. There were flies everywhere! As I was walking back to the Cessna for the ride home, I was literally covered in a wall-to-wall blanket of flies. I told the pilot I was going to lean against his airplane and squash them. He said that would ruin what I was wearing, but offered a better alternative. I stood next to the plane, he fired it up, the prop blew the flies away, I got in, and we flew back to Alice Springs.
In the above mentioned AFG fly slaughter, I began working on a new
science of Takeoff Projection, where I could more often than not anticipate
the lift off and direction of the fleeing fly and place my swat path accordingly
to take out the target as it left it's spotted location based on the fly's position
and how it stood on its legs.
It became a game for downtimes for the rest of my time deployed. As anyone
who served knows, "Hurry up and Wait" is official USMIL policy and killing time
is all part of the program.
During the non-winter months I kept a flyswatter swinging off an S-biner on
my belt loop to be ready for any surprise encounters. There were times when
I logged 40 kills for 40 swats, and some times I logged multiple kills with a single
A house fly jumps backwards before take off, hit behind it.
I'm sure many of you will hear from S.T.C.H.F. and other agencies for your cruelty.
S.T.C.H.F.= Save The Common House Fly
I wonder how much the government is spending on them?
I was in hopes that someone would add some additional novelties like the flyswatter game.
Do you remember the Pinball game option with Windows XP?
You can download it free from Microsoft at
It will download into- Start, All Programs, Games, click Pinball.
Use the space bar to load the ball. Use the z and the / keys to operate the flippers at the bottom.