One of my favorite quotes of all time was Henry Ford's "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't .... your right".
I heard another story today along the same line:
Two shoe salesmen were sent to Africa in the late 1800's. One reported back "situation hopeless, they don't wear shoes here, I'm coming home"
The other reported back "Glorious opportunity, everyone need shoes here!"
"If I knew you were having hotdogs, I wouldn't have come." - Greg Rieber, 1973
2 from HF. Actual quotes. "They'll buy what I sell them" and "You're fired"!
An old Mexican once told me: "Slow down and get finished sooner"
An old Eskimo once told me: "When love is good, it's wonderful, when it's bad, it's still pretty good.
Most internet quotes are bogus. ~ Abraham Lincoln
Im with you on that Steve.
Not just sayin,
Yogi Berra "It's like Deja-vu all over again"
My favorite Yogi Berra quote: "In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."
If you go a little slower you'll get a more harmonious outcome. ~Wilford Brimley
Dwayne - That almost sounds like something that came off of some "partial assembly required" instruction sheet for some Asian product!
Winston Churchill, "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put!"
Thanks guys -there were some new ones for me.
Steve - you might just be a cynic! ;o)
"Una ma mayo dogface to the banana patch" - Steve Martin
Thirty seconds hath Septober
April June and no wonder
All the rest eat peanut butter
Except my grandmother
She drives a Buick.
Egotism is the anaesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity-Anon.
Here's one from the 1800's I like but I forget who said it.
"I've never actually killed a man, but I've read a number of obituaries with a great deal of pleasure".
My Dad an avid T collector use to say " we have to get it and put it away before the hoarders do". Another was, " I only have two speeds and if you don't like this one you will surely not like the other'.
I believe it was Clarence Darrow.
“The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.”
¯ Tommy Smothers
You never used to be older.
"He must have some good in him, because he never let any of it out"
"It's not leaking oil....it's marking it's territory"
If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got!
Any job not worth doing is not worth doing well.
One of my favorites: "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him float on his back."
" A job well dreaded is a job half done." Havilah Hawkins, Camden, ME
Another viewpoint related to Chris Cooks quote:"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people"
-Lucille S. Harper
Another Abraham Lincoln quote: "It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt". Jim Patrick
One of my all-time favorites:
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think"-unknown (to me, anyway).
That was Dorothy Parker. Another classic line of hers was when she met Claire Booth Luce in a hallway. Luce stepped aside and said, "Age before beauty." Parker replied, "Pearls before swine" and kept going.
Churchill was fantastic -He had a long running battle with a female politician Bessie whose last name eludes me. One night she ran into Churchill in London when he was on a bender. In disgust she snorted "Winston you're drunk" his lightening reply was "Bessie you're ugly and tomorrow I'll be sober" In exasperation she once said to him " Winston if you where my husband I would poison your coffee" His reply was "Bessie if you were my wife I would drink it "
"Some people's sole purpose in life may be simply to serve as a warning to others"
"Some people are allowed to go on living simply because it is illegal to kill them."
SWSWSW...Some Will, Some Won't, So What.
"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
"Some people's minds are like concrete: all mixed up and permanently set."
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?"
From W.C. Fields...
"I always keep a bottle of liquor handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy."
Upon learning of someone's serious illness:
"They say he's at death's door. I hope the doctors can pull him through."
From Groucho Marx:
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Mary Englebright said it as far as I know.
"Thirty seconds hath Septober
April June and no wonder
All the rest eat peanut butter
Except my grandmother
She drives a Buick. - ANON
"Roses are red, violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I !!!"
And for those who love ambiguous declarations:
"More people are doing it today than ever before."
There are ten kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
One that I learned here is
80% of carburetor problems are electrical. I just stuck an engine in a 77 Ford pickup that I had removed from another because a neighbor wanted the chassis but not the engine, it had been giving me fits starting it for some time and I planned of boiling the carb, but in the other pickup, it runs great, I was stumped until I remembered that I changed the coil because the one on the engine had different connectors than my wiring harness.
If you can't fix it with a hammer it's probably an electrical problem.
50/50/90 rule. If you have a 50/50 chance on getting it right there is a 90% chance you will get it wrong.
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." -George Bernard Shaw
When you rob Peter to pay Paul you just end up with a short Peter.
-OR- "Some people borrow from Peter to pay Paul. But Peter is likely to get sore... Now, who can enjoy life with a sore Peter???"
Another of my favorite Winston Churchill quotes:
"We contend that for a nation to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
Henry, to help add to your Churchill quotes, Justin, (a fellow 'T-er'), had shared this with me. Enjoy!
Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians, figures of speech, in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify: I put "DOCTOR."
11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There's a fine line between cuddling and...holding someone down so they can't get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
19. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
21. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
23. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
24. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.