This was forwarded on to me by mate who is into Triumphs. I thought you might get a laugh from it.
Obviously the seller is a serial TR7 masochistic comedian.
(Message edited by rob patterson on January 27, 2016)
When you own a Triumph, the word of the day is “Tool Box” don’t leave home without it !
Once upon a time my dad bought a Jaguar for my mom to drive. We quickly discovered that you're supposed to buy two Jaguars at once: one to drive while the other is in the shop. Usually when the shop one gets fixed you're bringing the one you were driving there.
The whole experience turned my dad very much against British engineering. Triumph cars sound like more of the same.
I own 2 older British cars. One's a '55 Ford Zephyr 6 and the other is a '75 Triumph Dolomite Sprint.
The Zephyr, is bullet proof. The Triumph, no so.
I will admit that I turn a spanner on it more often than I do on any of my other cars (including 2 T's) however, when its running OK, its twice as much fun to drive than any of the others. It goes like a rat up a drainpipe, sticks to the road like s*** to a blanket and turns heads wherever I take it.
Despite the regular barked knuckles I wouldn't part with it for quids.
I own a 52 MG. Original gearbox so 45mph is the end of the world. Leaks oil, but at the end of the day, love love love that car. Turns heads everywhere we go.
reminds me of an old joke. Why don't the Brits make computers?......Because they couldn't figure out how to make them leak oil.
Thank you for sharing as it provided a few grins and one or two out loud guffaws.
Back in the late '80s I had the use of a '70s (I don't recall the exact model year) Morris Marina in bright orange for three or four months. It gave no trouble and was alright. I had no great attachment to it and did sell it, but as a daily driver it was okay.
This tread is not worth commenting on.
FYI TR7 was a four cylinder engine based on a SAAB derivative. The TR8 was the V8 version using a Rover/Buick aluminum engine. With a bit of work a 289/327 could be shoehorned into the engine bay.
"This tread is not worth commenting on." , but we're so glad you did with your non comment John
Since I started driving in 1968, I've had a 52MGTD, 58MGA, 64 sliding window MG midget, 65 MG1100 sedan (loved that car) 63MGB and a 59 Triumph TR3A. All leaked oil, had poor to non existent heaters/defrosters but none ever left me stranded.
Yes! For 6 years my car was an MG1100 sedan. When I met my wife she had an Austin (America)1300 - a very good snow car. And now the garage has a 1966 GT6. Very reliable.
__Nah. _This car speaks for itself.
Many years ago I was working in a shop that would work on anything. One day I did back-to-back front end alignments on a '66 Ford Galaxy and a '57 Bentley. Both cars had identical front suspension designs (unequal length control arms, coil springs). The Ford control arms were single-piece stampings. The Bentley arms were assembled from numerous forgings and castings - beautifully machined and assembled. I would have loved to have one hanging on my shop wall. To this day I cannot think of any reason why the hugely expensive Bentley arms were any better then the stamped Ford arms. The Brits have a love affair with wonderfully complex assemblies that don't work any better then simple, straightforward designs. Since Sheehan's law is that "Aggravation is proportional to the square of the number of parts in the assembly", British assemblies are by definition, unreliable. But beautiful.
I also started driving in 1968 and only owned British sports cars until I moved out to the left coast.I've Had a 1936 MGPB, 1952 MGTD,1955 MGTF,1959 MGA, 1963 MGB, 1965 MG Midget and a 1969 TR6. They were great in NYC traffic but they were always needing work.
In the early 70's I owned a Triumph Spitfire. I loved that car but I soon learned the importance of good hiking boots and road flares!
I sent the link to the Triumph ad to a friend who is president of the local chapter of the Triumph club. His response was, "He says things that could get him severely chastised if he weren't an adherent."
No matter what make, British car owners seem to have a love-hate relationship with their vehicles....
Isn't honesty refreshing ???
I bought a 62 TR-3-A in 77,then drove it for 30,ooo miles including trips to Florida and Canada.When I got it it needed an engine rebuild and it never leaked oil.
It has been said, "Give a Brit a piece of metal, and he will do something foolish with it!"
I used to work on Bentleys and RR, and they had a almost fetish about finishing ANY surface, smoooth! I heard that when RR wanted to build an automatic tranny, the bought an American one, took it apart, and were appalled at the raw, rough finish on the parts. Well, this won't do! So they polished them all nicely, and re-assembled the tranny. It wouldn't work; the rough surfaces gave the fluid something to "grab onto" and once polished, no go!
You should try the timing gear train on the prewar 6 cylinder RR & Bentleys. It's (from memory) 7 gears, and they are all "hunting tooth." That is, each gear "walks" one tooth whilst going around; so you set all the timing marks up when assembling, and once you turn it over, they don't match anymore! This provides even wear, is the theory. Seems to work, I've known engines decades old still functioning well.
By the way, RRs and Bentleys never break down; however, they do occasionally "fail to proceed."
Had a MG Midget for a spell, got to the point that the local towing company recognized my voice on the phone! Lots of cooling system and electrical gremlins. Was fun when it ran. Old joke- Why do the British drink warm beer? Lucas builds refrigerators...
That TR-7 and a couple of mitsubishis would make great fish nests if pushed into a nearby river.
You malign Lucas?? Every country has, in their history, great inventors, US has Bell, the telephone; Edison, the Light Bulb, and England has Lucas, the Short Circuit!
Lucas Headlight switch construction drawing shows the three operating positions: Off, ON, Flicker.
Lucas developed all kinds of products unknowingly. Intermittent wipers, strobe light, etc. I heard they started making vacuum cleaners which means they market one product that doesn't suck.
It was told to me that the Brit's drink warm beer because they own Lucas refrigerators.
Out of curiosity - how well do the electrics of a Model T Ford work? At night would you say the lights are bright, half bright, or a candle power short of a new moon?
I have also heard that if Lucas made guns, wars would never start...
To the Tune of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God:"
A mighty magneto has the Ford, a power ever-failing, no help through mortal bearings failing!
The Ford, our ancient foe, doth seek to work us woe:The coils and timer fail, and cause us pain, on earth is not their equal!
I got this from T-Monk; apparently the choir sings it at the Abby. For those new here, the old-timers will have to explain T-Monk, as he hasn't been around here for a while. Suffice it to say, he looks to rid us of our T addiction, and the Abbey will accept, at no charge, the objects of our affliction--just for the good of society.
Remember...Lucas DOES NOT make headlights...
They manufacture Dark Absorbers!
I used to own a 74 MGB convertible. Red, wire wheels, black interior, overdrive. Loved that car! On the lighter side, the Lucas electric system took a back seat to the twin SU carbs (and the Lucas electric fuel pump)! I got to the point that I could overhaul any one of them in the dark without a flashlight. It was that or walk home. The fuel pump was located behind the right rear tire and you could not hit it with a hammer without removing the wire wheel. Unfortunately the pump needed to be hit with a hammer about every other day.
I've owned Triumph TR6s since 1974 and Model T's since 1980. The TR6 was the last true British sports car in the TR line. These are the only two cars I'll have in my stable. Both require some hands on maintenance but also create a smile on my face that can't be wiped off when driving them!!
When I worked for Corning the VP of our division wanted me to attend a meeting with him at the research center that was about 10 miles from or office. He insisted that I ride with him in his somewhat new Jag XKE.
As we entered the 2 mike long driveway the car stopped running.
The only thing I knew about Jags was that the Lucas fuel pump was somewhere in the trunk, it made a clicking sound when it worked, and it was known to stop working,
There was no clicking so I asked the VP to open his trunk and I hit the fuel pump with a small rock that was nearby.
It immediately started clicking and away we went.
A few weeks later I was promoted.
Lucas fuel pumps are great for promotions
The only thing that I ever heard about Lucas, was back in the the early to mid '50's and into the early '60's. The big thing then with the car customisers was that they used the headlights that had a clear lens, with some kind of tri/bar in them. They looked very cool, but, I don't think they were legal to drive with in the US. Dave
Lucas, the "Prince of Darkness"
When I was a kid my father had a Mk 5 Jaguer, the Lucas fuel pump was under the Rear floor on the left side.
It was my job to use the crank handle that was kept under the front seat to wack the floor when told to by my dad.
Even though they had a reputation for failure I later had a Mk 2 sedan which I did over 100,000 miles in without any breakdowns, though I did have to replace disc pads and the ball joints in the front suspension. People were amazed that the exhaust system had not failed in that time.
I've always marveled at how the English do things on their cars, and as mentioned, it's never the simple way.
I once worked on a late 20s Rolls Royce. Now, on early American cars with mechanical linkage brakes, the equalizer for the rear brakes usually consisted of a piece of metal with three holes in it, one center one for pedal rod pressure, two outer ones to each side rear brake, thus self equalizing. Not so the RR, it had a small geared device, much like a differential, with probably 40 parts in it.
The other thing I remember is putting upholstery in an SS (early Jaguar), 1934. There's a thin reed, about half inch wide and half round, that finishes off the border of the rear seats. It's leather covered. American, we'd slather a little contact cement on that sucker and put on the leather. Not so the Brits, they hand sewed the leather on the back of the little reed, with fine stitching....a LOT of time to do the handwork...
They're such interesting engineers!!
Yes, RR did that, but what about the power-brake unit that utilized a clutch drive off the transmission? RR had a side (90 degrees from drive-line)shaft in constant mesh with the drive-shaft connected to the main brake rod & to the actuating brake rods. The main rod was on a cam, so as you applied the brakes, it engaged the clutch, providing power assist to the brake actuating rods. The faster the car was moving, the greater the assist. A complex piece, to be sure, but so reliable it was used up into the 1960s at least. The one "improvement" made to the system was the front rod actuated a hydraulic master cylinder for the front wheel brakes. So those cars had mechanical rear wheel brakes with hydraulic front wheel brakes. This made the front wheels self-equalizing and simplified the linkage to turning wheels. I think it can be said that RR were the last cars made with mechanical running brakes! Parking brakes are still mechanical on most cars.
Like you, my father had a great British car or two.
I remember a Wolseley 6/80 that had the SU fuel pump mounted on the passenger side of the firewall. Because the hood/bonnet was hinged down the centerline and the handle to open it was on the passenger side AND because I was younger and fitter than my Dad, I got to get out and give that thing a whack when required. I remember one time was while it was stopped at a railway level crossing, waiting for a train to pass. The car was going again before the gates had opened.
MkII Jags....wonderful cars.
I recognise that licence plate on the RHD centerdoor.
You're looking well.
Morris Minor(58), MG(67), TR3-A(58 or 59) and a Ford Cortina (67).
Lucas electrics are powered by smoke. When the smoke leaks out, they stop working. Starters require a lot of smoke, that's why their cables are larger.