Post some funnies & help brighten up Monday ...
Stanley was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
Stanley took out his wallet, extracted twenty dollars and said ...
" If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner ? "
" No, I had to stop drinking years ago, " the homeless man replied.
" Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food ? " Stanley asked.
" No, I don't waste time fishing, I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive, " the homeless man replied.
" Will you spend this on hunting equipment ? " Stanley asked.
" Are you NUTS! " replied the homeless man. " I haven't gone hunting in 20 years ! "
" Well, " Stanley said, " I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife. "
The homeless man was astounded !
" Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that ? "
Stanley replied ...
" Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting. "
The Optimist saw his friend the Pessimist and he was looking down so he went up to his friend and said "what happened I thought you were going to cheer up because things could be worse"? to which his friend replied "yep I took your advice and cheered up, and I'll be danged if things didn't get worse"