Time To Set The Facts Straight ... Part Duh :-)

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Model T Ford Forum: Forum 2016: Time To Set The Facts Straight ... Part Duh :-)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 05:56 pm:

OK, so we're having a bit of fun in Part 1 debating the gospel of the old car hobby,
and we have one guy who claims to hold the golden key to the crapper on all things
Model T, a direct line the Model T Gods himself. As I feel no other person's viewpoint
on The Facts are any more valuable than anyone else's, I'd start my own thread of
gospel as I see it, ... er, .... make it up ! :-)

So, I have decidedly entirely on my own to anoint myself the all-knowing of all things
and no matter what anyone else thinks or says, I will declare them WRONG, by virtue
of my self-granted superior powers. This may include when to breathe, what car to
own, or what toothpaste to use. ALl tight or wrong shall be channeled through ME !

I will decree The Facts, as I deem them to be, and all can pathetically attempt to
counter my whims, but I shall overrule all, because I have claimed the highest of
positions !

Please, make a note of it ! :-)

*tongue firmly in cheek (for those with humor impairment)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 06:11 pm:

Transubstantiation is the change whereby, according to the teaching of the Catholic Church, the bread and the wine used in the sacrament of the Eucharist become, not merely as by a sign or a figure, but also in actual reality the body and blood of Christ.

Are you a Model T priest, i.e. can you do transubstantiation on motor oil. I put modern motor oil on the altar, you burn some incense, say some prayers, wave your hand over it, and it becomes 100-year-old motor oil fit for a T?

This could be a great service to all T believers, and you might make a few well deserved bucks too!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 06:15 pm:

Or do you do confessionals? For example, I replace a bolt in my Model T with a bolt that looks original, but is actually new. I confess to you, you tell me to do a few "Hail Models T's", and then I can go forward in my T with a clear conscience.

there might be some money in this...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Hal Davis-SE Georgia on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 06:27 pm:

We can probably say goodbye to this one as well, but no great loss on this one.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 06:34 pm:

I know A's can be blessed:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua-_65ZXT-Q

maybe T's too!??!?

And exorcisms, for example you buy a car some infidel has put a water pump on, just remove the pump and have priest burger do an exorcism, presto, an original car!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Norman T. Kling on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 06:36 pm:

Sounds like another Reedad!:-)
Norm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By John Semprez-Templeton, CA on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 06:52 pm:

But Burger, he said "the above facts can NOT be disputed"!

That's it, it's His edict, the facts are in, and can not be rescinded! There is no higher court, so just get over it! :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Fred Dimock, Newfields NH, USA on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:05 pm:

What is a Burger?
Is it some kind of beefy thing?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Stephen, South Texas on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:11 pm:

All I want to know is what's a "reedad"? And does my T have one?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By dale w on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:18 pm:

Thus speaketh lord Burger: " ALI (sic?) tight(?) or wrong shall be channeled through ME!"

An apparent misspelling/misquote in the very first edict? That doesn't bode well....


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Ed in California on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:25 pm:

As the late Ralph Ricks would always state when these disagreements would come up....

"The modifications on MY car make it safer, more reliable and improve itís appearance. The modifications on YOUR car are unnecessary, troublesome, gaudy and ruin the whole character of the Model T!"


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:29 pm:

and low the Three came from the East, bearing gifts of Sta-bil, Synthetic motor oil, and MMO...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By tim moore, "Island City" MI on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:41 pm:

He has declared himself the King...all hail "Burger King"! I want an order of large fries please.

Always enjoy your outlook Burger.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By dale w on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 07:54 pm:

Joseph,
In the original version the Three Wise Guys set out with a HCCT, a ECCT and a Strob-o-spark.

They didn't get very far............


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Freighter Jim on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:01 pm:

Hail Da Burger

All knowing omnipotent (but not impotent) ruler of all he surveys in the Valley of the Spokanites
who were directly descended from the T - Tites that settled those fertile valleys
which Yahwhichwaydehegoanyway decreed were rightly Theirs in the E Book of Burger ....


Freighter Jim


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Matthew Atchinson on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:02 pm:

"Hail Henry, full of iron, Vanadium is with thee. Blessed art thou among the common man, and blessed is the fruit of thy factories, Model T. Holy Henry, Father of T, pray for us T owners, now at the hour of the band change, Amen."


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Freighter Jim on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:03 pm:

There was a fourth wise man ...

He unfortunately chose fruitcake ...

Thus the Good Book does not speak of him ...


Freighter Jim


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Wayne Sheldon, Grass Valley, CA on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:25 pm:

Hoo-BOY!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By David Dewey, N. California on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:25 pm:

THIS IS A JOB FOR T-MONK!!
But he's not around anymore. . . .
BUT, he would have happily blessed your oil and grease, especially for a donation to the Orphan's Fund (Yes, singular, only one orphan!). He would also gladly accept your object of obsession to release you of the burden of caring for it, and not having time for the family because of that burden.
Tim, if you get a Medium Drink with that order, you will be able to see into the future. . .
Ka-Dump! Here all month folks!

All this reminds me of the guy who goes to the Catholic church for the first time in 25 years. He's sitting in the pew and notices the confessional booths, and figures, "hey, why not?"
So he sits in the booth, and the the little screened door slides open and the priest says, "Yes, my son?"
He responds with, "Well first let me tell you that it's been 25 years since my last confession."
"Son, that's a long time, would you mind telling me what brought you here?"
"Well Father, the church has been advertising on TV and Radio to "Come back to the church, we've changed" so I thought I'd check it out."
"That's interesting son, would you mind if I ask you what you've noticed?"
"Well, yes Father, things are different; for instance I notice there's some cheese and crackers and wine here in the confessional."
"Son. . ."
"Yes Father?"


"You are sitting on MY side!"


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:44 pm:

Don't worry about the infidels who use modern anti-freeze, they will get theirs in the end, and they won't need any anti-freeze where they are going...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:51 pm:

And the serpent said to Eve, "Go ahead, get Adam to put LED's in for headlamps, they are brighter and will light your way , and you will see better. God won't care if you see Him for what He really is."


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Tom Carnegie Spokane, WA on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:57 pm:

Burger, is my T OK?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Kenneth W DeLong on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 08:58 pm:

I remember T Monk leading us in a chorus of a mighty magneto has our Ford! And to all a good night! Bud.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 09:04 pm:

Don't want to turn a religious thread political, but Burger, you do sound a little like the President-Elect...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dallas landers on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 09:06 pm:

Wait for it!!!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By jim mccathren on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 09:18 pm:

Interesting thread. Catholics have a patron saint of automobile drivers, Saint Frances of Rome, and a patron saint of automobile mechanics, Saint Eloi. However, we can go back to what Jesus said about Model T's in Luke 5:36 He also told a parable to them. "No one puts a piece from a new garment on an old garment, or else he will tear the new, and also the piece from the new will not match the old."


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dennis Henrichs on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 09:19 pm:

If you desire a personal audience with potentiate Burger and possibly even be knighted with a T lug wrench so you also can see stars, you my find him most anytime holding court at Burger King.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Ed in California on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 09:34 pm:

This is getting stranger by the second...are most of you fellows snowed in or partaking in some of grampas xxx "cough medicine"?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dallas landers on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 09:35 pm:

Denis ,thats a whopper!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By David Dewey, N. California on Wednesday, December 21, 2016 - 11:42 pm:

OWWW OWWw OWWW DALLAS!!!!!!
(Around these parts that would be known as a "Deweyism")
Kenneth, Yes, The Monk's choir would do a chorus or two of that great Ford Hymn!
Ed, either that or someones gotten into Grandma's rum-soaked fruitcake! :-)
BTW, the automobile is Biblical: "They were all in one Accord"! Motorcycles too; "The sound of his Triumph could be heard throughout the land."
Now where did that egg nog go??
Put on another Piano Roll!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 12:27 am:

I decree all this banter as NONSENSE !!! Off with your heads !


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Harold Schwendeman - Sumner,WA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 01:25 am:

.......hmmmm,.......and today is only the first day of winter. I'm thinking that it's gonna' be a looooong winter!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Carl Sorenson-Montrose,CO on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 01:58 am:

I leave you people alone and unsupervised for a few hours,,,,and look,,look what happens.....!!!
Amen ,,on the winter thing....


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Harold Schwendeman - Sumner,WA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:04 am:

.......Carl,......makes the thought of the upcoming "April Fool's Day" kind of a scary thought, huh?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Harold Schwendeman - Sumner,WA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:06 am:

Burger ..... I'm thinking that if you ever get "barred" from the forum, our webmaster had better consider "barring" you on April Fool's Day! (:^)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:33 am:

Haroldo,

I'll post some pix of my T to counterbalance any of this madhouse lunacy !




Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mark Gregush Portland Oregon on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 03:16 am:

David your 8:25 post, thank you! I got a good chuckle, twice, and printed if for Mom and Dad! :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Harold Schwendeman - Sumner,WA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 03:23 am:

Burger - Good to see that you haven't entirely "lost it" amidst this thread of "madhouse lunacy" as you call it. A couple of nice "pix" for sure, but one of them surprises me! I always like pictures of your TT, especially when it's hard at work, and you even managed to include your other passion, an assortment of neat blue-green insulators, but the moss on the pole really throws me! I thought you were so happy to have left "the land of moss, ferns and fungus", when you defected to the sunny side of the mountains! Is that your yard, or out at some work location? Oh, and by the way,.... get ready,.... yer' gonna' catch hell for that plastic timing gear!

(:^)....harold (no "haroldo",.... just Swiss, Swede and English,.... no hispanic in my DNA or in my blood far as I know of,.... (:^)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Wayne Sheldon, Grass Valley, CA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 03:49 am:

David D, I would like a model T traffic jam on my piano roll! (Black berry of course!)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dallas landers on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 07:04 am:

Burger
Do we really have to take the heads off? Nobody has that many gasgets to put them back on.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Fred Dimock, Newfields NH, USA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 08:45 am:

Burger's kitchen is a bit messy!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 11:16 am:

Silence, infidels ! Only the Great Boz dare speaketh on moss,
plastic timing gears, and kitchen messes !


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Joseph Bauer on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 11:27 am:

Burger, do you have orange skin and twitter a lot?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Norman T. Kling on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 11:37 am:

Reedad

I tried to post a picture of a Reedad, but unfortunately, this computer will not picture something in my imagination! A Reedad is anything which the person thinks a Reedad is! :-)

Norm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:23 pm:

Jo-jo,

I think you have me confused with Tim Rogers, which was the whole
intent of starting Part Duh of The Facts thread. Thanks for the confirmation.
Cut yerself an extra slice of raisin pie, Amigo. :-)

The doctor did tell me to lay off the Cheetos while watching adult movies
if I did not want an orange plunger. But I digress ....


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Harold Schwendeman - Sumner,WA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:29 pm:

.....and when Burger digresses,...... ANYTHING can happen!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By David Dewey, N. California on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:35 pm:

I think Wayne is waiting for his lunch to Jell, but at least his puns are on a roll!
Mark, Thanks, good to hear I made ONE person's day!
I thought we had a skunk visit us this morning, but it's just neighbor's batch of Lutefisk they put out on the porch!
3 days to go!! :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Colin Mavins Winnipeg,Canada on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:37 pm:

There is and easy fix. In 1962 Dad was in Calgary on the way to a tour He had a 1914 Tail light on the car because he did not have a 1912 tail light. It was brought to his attention, the answer was you get he one and I will put it on. A short time later a 1912 tail light arrived in the mail and has been on the car ever since. So If anyone does not like what we have done to the car feel free to load your trailer with all the good 1912 parts and paint and come up to Canada and Fix it. I will be happy to provide the heated work space. LOL Cheers Colin


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By John Semprez-Templeton, CA on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 02:41 pm:

I much prefer Burgers melorations.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dave Dufault on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 04:01 pm:


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Dean Kiefer - Adams, MN on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 04:37 pm:

I would sure like to follow the Almighty Burger to the Promised Land but he is driving the slowest vehicle Ford ever built!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Mike Spaziano, Bellflower, CA. on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 09:44 pm:

Burger,

I must admit, you never fail to leave me without at least a chuckle after I've read one of your postings. Man! I love that twisted humor.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 09:52 pm:

Thanks guys, but we have to keep this serious. There could be infidels
using fuel additives and modern paint formulations in/on their Models T's !

Form up a beheading posse immediately !!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By tim moore, "Island City" MI on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 10:46 pm:

Burger,

Stop with the "off with your heads" or "Form up a beheading posse immediately!!". I like your humor but you of all people having been over there with the savages...not funny. Nothing funny about that.

Tim Moore


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Thursday, December 22, 2016 - 11:52 pm:

Easy Tim. We could be quoting Alice in Wonderland. Besides,
I am the Supreme Being of all things. Go back and reread the
entire thread ! Do not tempt my wrath !!! :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Burger in Spokane on Friday, December 23, 2016 - 12:04 am:

Scenes from AFG:






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