You go to exit the gym & a pretty girl coming in opens the door for YOU ....
Then you get in your truck - start a thread - then promptly FORGET where you put your keys you just used to open your truck .....
After a few minutes of looking - you see them in the IGNITION .......
(Message edited by enclosed_ford_transport on March 18, 2017)
Jim i have a disease eating at my brain. The first few years it was scary as all get out, now almost once a week i get a surprise when i find something i lost ( at least i think i did Ha Ha ). I have started looking forward to these little surprises.
FJ...don't worry...it gets worse. Just wait 'til all those pretty girls around ya don't even know you're there!! I know!
Whats a gym ????
Read something the other day, but I've forgotten most of it. Had to do with using words that remind you that you are getting old.
Words like ...
pocketbook instead of purse
ice box instead of refrigerator
I'm sure everyone has a word or two that they hang on to. I wonder how many young people today will live a life that is poorer for not having learned the patience of folding a paper road map.
Dashbox instead of glove compartment. Foot feed instead of accelerator. Cooter hull instead of trunk. Running board instead of........?
Wait until you order some parts for your Model T and then right after you install the new part, you find one you had ordered earlier still in the package!
After my 26 mile bike ride yesterday, I stopped at Culver's for dinner. When I placed my order and asked for the "sports discount", the waitress said, "Oh, I already gave you the senior discount".
The good news is, the senior discount is worth more than the sports discount!
Oh God, is this what I get to look forward too in 20 years? Wait, I just remembered, I do some that stuff already.
Naw, you are not getting old...
You spaced it out because your mind was preoccupied imagining yourself running down the beach in slow motion toward the girl that had opened the door for you.
Once a few years ago I pulled up on the right side of a new car full of young gals at a light who had a passenger side rear tire that was almost flat. They were listening to their music turned up to "11" and singing along, blissfully unaware of their pending pneumatic failure.
To warn them I tried to get their attention by waving my arm out my window at them and finally the one sitting at the right rear door noticed me with a quizzical look. I quickly signaled for her to roll down her window, using the time-honoured, somewhat exaggerated circular motion one would apply to roll down a manual crank window.
UNFORTUNATELY, from her angle, looking up at me smiling down at her from my truck, all that she could see was my hand every time it reached the top of the imaginary circle traced by the phantom crank, before it plunged below the bottom of the window frame, rapidly rising and falling, repeatedly.
She looked surprised, then disgusted, then screamed and all the other girls soon joined in, pointing and screaming. The driver added to the scene by laying on her horn before the light mercifully changed and they quickly drove off, still screaming and pointing out the rear window!!
Apparently they were hideously repulsed that I would assume that their car didn't have power windows!
Either that,or they had never rolled down a window in a car in their short lives without merely pushing a button to do it electrically and they had mistook my old-school gesture for something less than wholesome?
Maybe if they had been a few decades older they would have understood my meaning- or at least been a bit more intrigued.........
You realize you are getting older when the hair in your ears and nose grow better than the hair that used to be on the top of your head.
Boy John, ain't it the truth!
The crank window story reminds me of this .....
When we were in our 30's, my friend John decided that he needed a big
finned DeSoto convertible like mine so he had the right car to drive around
naked in when he got old. I have little trouble imagining that situation with
his goofy face and wrinkled splendor freaking out the young women in the
next car over.
Last week while checking my groceries, the pretty checker smiled at me and asked, "Do you have any good St. Patrick's Day stories?" I said I had one worth remembering. She asked me to tell it. I did. When I finished she said, "What year did that happen?" I responded, "St. Patrick's Day 1970!" She said, "Oh wow. I wasn't even born yet for several years."
The mind is a terrible thing to lose. Fortunately, I don't remember having it.
The mind is a terrible thing ....
"Of all the things I have lost in my life? I miss my mind the most!"
Wrinkles mean you laghed.
Grey hair means you cared.
Scars mean you lived.
I don't know what skinned knuckles means. Probably a T owner.
"I've worked here two weeks and we've always done it this way."
Well I've worked here 1,872 weeks, and we haven't always done it that way, punk.
Robert I have all of the above and plenty of broken bones and arthritis to show for my youthful enthusiasm but hardy remember any of it except when I get up and down, especially in the mornings. Lol Tim
You know you are getting old when you get a certified letter in the mail stating that your blood type has been discontinued.
When you post about where the best food is at Chickasha.
"There are 4 stages of getting old. First you forget names; then you forget faces. After that you forget to zip up. And finally you forget to unzip."
My Grandmother told me there 3 signs that you are getting old...
First your memory starts fading...
I don't remember what the other two are
From my Granddaughter going through My albums (the really big CD's) seeing Abby Road, "Paul McCartney was really young there... I didn't know he was in a band before Wings"...... what happens next?
A phrase I used for various occasions " I've got combat boots older than you." Generally for remarks from our company's inspectors.
Neihbor was down looking at a workhorse colt he and his brothers purchased and I am raising. We were discussing my horse as well and he asked how old he was. I said 32. Pretty old for a horse. He said " man he is older than me". I guess thats one I can use now.
Old is when your grandson turns 40. Mine will this year!
Life is like a roll of toilet paper; it goes faster the closer you get to the end.
I think I am not the best mechanic to work on my truck ....
Found another great diesel mechanic in Palm Bay, Florida a few weeks back - he made the mistake of letting me " help out " working on my truck .....
Charlie replaced all of my diesel injectors - they had built up carbon on the spray nozzles - I try to avoid biodiesel when possible and don't idle the engine for extended periods but carbon build up still occurs.
To " help out " - I pulled the valve covers & gaskets ( gaskets have a wiring harness ) - then I installed new gaskets.
I installed the valve cover gaskets upside down on my 95 F350 CC Dually 7.3 PSD - that screws up the firing order - so I took both covers off & reversed the gaskets - or so I thought ....
Brilliant me installed both valve cover gaskets upside down again - twice in a row - it took three attempts to install them correctly.
We got out of his shop at 1 am this morning.
They are replacing my clutch right now - I am staying a comfortable distance way ....
Mechanic Not Inclined Today
You've seen the shop rate sign that reads something like this ?
Shop Rate: $75hr
If you watch: $85hr
If you speak: $100hr
If you help: $200hr
Hah! The skinned knuckles tells us we know the difference between a wrench and a bench. :-)
I mounted a tire yesterday. Then I took it off the wheel, installed the bridge washer I had forgotten to put on the valve stem, and mounted the tire again. I'd worry about getting so forgetful, but I've always been this way.
Mark, your double discount request had me recalling booking in at a Best Western motel. I had their discount card and then produced my seniors card. Then I hauled out my Automobile club discount card. The lady behind the counter said if I had one more, she would have to pay me to stay there!!!!
Only one worked.
Allan from down under.
I ain't old, I just been used rough.
For those who have trouble remembering where they put something, or whether they did a certain process, you need to slow down and think about what you are doing right now. The problem I have and am sure others have is to think ahead to the next process. By doing so, I forget things such as where I laid down a tool. We must think about laying down the tool and then think of what we are going to do next.
Sometimes whilst working on projects I start forgetting where I laid my tools. But by then I usually have a huge amount of tools out and scattered about. So I do a clean up and put all the tools away, then continue with the job pulling the tools as needed. But with getting older, I now have company, Arthur Itis and Mr. CRS. My wife will be watching me work then ask who my friends are being that I'm apparently "talking to someone", so I tell her in my best Jimmy Stewart impersonation "Its only Harvey".
you know you are getting old when...........what were we talking about ????
I am far too old..
You know you are old when you notice guys admiring your bride in stores and then you look in the mirror and it looks like 40 miles of bad road looking back....
My wife and I were at a Cracker Barrel for dinner a few months ago. I had my Vietnam Veteran hat on and my wife heard a lady a couple of tables over from us comment to her husband, "Isn't that nice? She took her dad out for dinner". Now that's bad enough, but I am nine years older than she is! Dave