1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, donít have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug
14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16.The 50-50-90 Law - Whenever there's a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Well, the first three describe my shop pretty well...
19 No one ever comes to the door unless your in your undershorts!!
2. Law of Gravity - the dropped part will roll under the car to the exact center!
Nearly the exact center. I often find it almost an inch closer to the other side tempting you to go around. /O(
Law of mental toughness - Aggravation is directly proportional to the square of the number of parts in the assembly.
I like law 19 cuz I dont care anymore. My shorts cover more skin than a swim suit does.
20 law of flatulence - just when you think it is safe to let one go, someone will walk up to you.
Years ago it always seemed to happen to me in the check out line,the register would run out of ribbon right when I walked up, And the girl was new so she needed help to put in the new ribbon in,Is it just me?
21: Law of odds. You fall in a barrel of boobies and come out sucking your thumb...
Law of timing... After tripping over the spare part for 5 years, you finally throw it away...that very same week, you will need it and nobody will have one !!
Hahaha! That old Sod. :-)
The probability an old engine will start is directly related to how many people are watching.
The phone, the cat, the kids... Calgon, take me away!
22 You need a new tube and when you open the box on the one you have had for ages it's cracked and rotted!
When you windshield wipers streak it will always happen directly in your field of vision.