OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Rich P. Bingham
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Dec 26, 2022 11:12 am

Herb, I fear everyone forgot about the duel at the regatta. As you can see, the entire Institute staff is working feverishly around the clock looking for documentation of the incident. Let's hope they find something on it !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Dec 27, 2022 1:23 am

Heinrich provided this shot of the research team during the afternoon
luncheon. It is easy to understand how so many Basin residents personally
identified with the high quality potassium produced across the Tri-Burg area.

KDchow1.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Tue Dec 27, 2022 10:07 am

The numerous and scholarly Balderson family, sporting their trademark shaggy goatees, was very well represented at the Bi-annual Lecture and Mass Gas Lighting Ceremonial Dinner. The hogmaw, oatmeal and fried apple fritter dinner with curlyfries, accompanied by half gallon tankards of Happy Sally, was relished by all. The celebratory repast concluded with licorice-dipped cigars of surpassing quality. Women were allowed, but none chose to attend the dinner.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 27, 2022 2:25 pm

Herb's mention of the duel at the Regatta reminded me of the incident at Ernie's. Cuthbert made a poor choice of words and offended the Biffle mob, and they immediately retaliated with bottles and chair legs. Had Kid Shelleen not been there to lend a fist, Cuthbert would have been thrashed within an inch of Thursday. KD was not prone to violence and had no concept of self-defense, so he ordered another round and tossed banana peels on the floor.
Barfight.jpg
Eventually, Ernie popped a couple of shots in the ceiling with the scattergun. The Biffles knew they were overpowered and scattered out the back door. Some bats fell from the rafters and two lights were shot out, but all was tidy for the next croquet event.
Klause Happner won as I recall. Bishop of Merkzville rules applied.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Tue Dec 27, 2022 4:26 pm

Cuthbert never knew when to keep his mouth shut, but then again, the Biffle Mob were a touchy bunch, and easily offended by almost everything. It was truly fortunate that Grunda was not one of the bats that fell from the ceiling. Kid Shelleen was a formidable ally in a bar fight, and the pair could have easily bested the Biffles even without Ernie's intervention. He never did get the roof fixed. If you're in the saloon sometime when it's raining, be sure not to take the table between the terpsichord and the keg of pickled wombat wings. It's a good thing Calhoun is a dry county.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Dec 29, 2022 1:25 pm

Had Grunda been there, the Biffles would have been wearing their spurs in their ears. She may have been evasive, but you didn't want to get her mad. Just ask the parishioners of the Trinity Church.
There isn't time for that tale.
Cuthbert's mouth! Oh My. :lol:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Dec 31, 2022 11:48 pm

Grunda's less-than-petite stature made her ideal as a firemen
on the Chugwater & Northern steamers, tossing upwards of ten
tons of coal in to those dirt burners in a single pass up the valley.
No need for a gym membership to stay in top form with a job like
that.

More than one tough guy with a mouth learned what it felt like
to have Grunda stuff her calloused fist through the back of their
skull. Yet she kept a prim social profile and led the Uvula League
through their best years.. As mentioned earlier, she was a good
natured and jovial woman to be around, but a gal never to be
trifled with.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sun Jan 01, 2023 11:39 am

Grunda had two younger sisters who worshipped her heroics and yearned to follow in her footsteps. Although they totally misunderstood Grunda's career as "fireman" on the C&N. R. R., both eventually received accolades for their work with the Saddlestring Volunteer Fire Dept. as hose carriers. In spite of the fact that fires were rare occurrences in the tiny burg, the pair were always spot on the scene, and immediately prepared, owing to their penchant for adopting fire hose as their daily mode of dress. First on the scene of any conflagration, they would drop and roll, hoses were always ready to deploy by the time the rest of the company arrived with the fire engine.

Gathering crowds were tittilated by the sight of the comely sisters in their "scanties", but fire chief Biff Burlap always made sure there were blankets on hand to ensure their modesty and keep the pair from chilling breezes.

The photo below was taken at the Firemen's Ball the year before the last one. Everyone enjoyed the weenie roast.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Jan 01, 2023 1:25 pm

Cuthbert always mentioned "Nobody could carry a hose like Grunda's sister".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Jan 01, 2023 7:28 pm

And no one ever accused the Fulpants sisters of being seen in
less-than-glamorous footwear.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 02, 2023 6:07 pm

Immanuel sent this by telegram this afternoon.
GrundazStrz.jpg
Apparently after the uniform inforcements.
It may have been the Larkvonnet Hotel mishap.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Mon Jan 02, 2023 6:24 pm

The "All You Can Eat" bean supper, perhaps?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jan 03, 2023 12:08 am

A regular occurrance at the ground floor restaurant inside the
Larkvonnet Hotel after Raju Gopolan began serving his native
Indian food on Thursday nights. The Chugwater Fire House crew
did not miss the opportunity to drill under the simulated conditions
of a major conflagration. Period commentary said that there was
no actual danger, "but a heavy pall of olfactory unpleasantness sat
ponderously upon the air, upsetting the stomach and burning the
eyes and sinuses of all", reminding many of the heydays of the
mushroom moss stands.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Tue Jan 03, 2023 10:51 am

Doubtless you are correct, Burger. Note KD's raceabout in the foreground. KD was enamored of spicy East Indian dishes, and never missed the weekly offering. Cuthbert, not so much. After tasting the fare one time, he grumbled, "Curryin's fer hosses." and never returned.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jan 03, 2023 6:53 pm

Well, rumor has it that the Biffle gang never ate there. Biff had the Shotgun Grain chaps in this print.
Biffle.jpg
Heathcliff found this one under the scrubbing vessel in a plain brown wrapper.
I believe that is KD's Raceabout. His had those canvas fender aprons after the sludge venture. The lift-the-dot fasteners became clogged and troublesome.
He seldom grumbled about it though.
You know how he was.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Tue Jan 03, 2023 7:21 pm

Who would have ever thought that Tiny Tim was the leader of the notorious Biffle Gang? Tallest guy in the bunch, too!

"Cowboys? Surely you jest. We, Sir, are a group of blackguards, cut throats and highwaymen of rare ill-repute!"


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Wed Jan 04, 2023 9:25 pm

"Tiny Tim" Biffle and his gang truly were blackguards and cutthroats of ill repute, far more dangerous and deadly than Spud Spaydaford and his group of hangers-on. Feared throughout the tri-burgs and suspected of innumerable robberies, murders and disappearances, it's no wonder they were universally feared as they kept the basin in their grip of terror. After the brawl in Ernie's proved they could be routed by righteous resistance, the Biffle Mob concentrated on getting revenge on Cuthbert. Cornering him one afternoon in a deserted section of the skunk works, Cuthbert might have met his end at their evil hands had it not been for the incredible athleticism of his faithful pony, Hyperion who saved the day for them both with an incredible leap to freedom, caught on film by Silverplume photographer Lester Seymore.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jan 04, 2023 11:34 pm

Murla Marples made short work of the Biffle gang in the summer of 1902,
when the group made the terminal mistake of trying to hoodwink Grunda of
her woonsocket. Murla, always one to carry a pancake flipper, gave the hoodlums
a taste of the old "Aunt Jemima Treatment", and Calhoun County saw the bunch
hightailing it for part unknown with their tails between their legs. Witnesses
thought a tornado had touched down right there on Pispacattiquattimauken
Avenue. The Happy Sally flowed freely that evening as Grunda performed
feats of grandiosity on her woonsocket for the captivated crowd.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Jan 05, 2023 12:45 pm

Kalamity Dick was extremely allergic to horses. Given the era, it's no wonder he gravitated at an early age toward things mechanical. However, very early in his career, Cuthbert's spectacular escape from the Biffle Mob impressed him greatly with the limitations of wheeled transportation, especially in the rugged tri-burg area where trails were rough, and roads were bad if they existed at all. KD labored assiduously on developing a "horseless horse". Realizing that an unfamiliar presence on roads and byways would be a shock to flesh and blood equines, his machine was a masterpiece of verisimilitude. Fueling the device proved to be a stumbling block however, as the machine's mileage economy was terrible, proving to be ultimately impractical. Where a real horse could do heavy work for five hours on seventeen pounds of hay and a quart of oats, the "horseless horse" ran out of power within an hour and a half on the same ration.
Photo below shows the horseless horse awaiting another infusion of fuel.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Jan 05, 2023 3:08 pm

The Cheval Mechanique was not entirely a failure. The Moxie soft drink company ran a small fleet of them for advertising purposes. Fuel and upkeep was burdensome, but the Moxiemobile units never failed to draw crowds.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jan 05, 2023 10:39 pm

I find it hard to believe that Kalamity Dick never crossed paths
with Heinrich Fjord and his proven system of selsum-fueled woonsocket
power. He not only navigated the North Atlantic to reach the Maritime
shores from Norway, but once modified for land, skelticated across
the continent to settle in the Chugwater Basin, only to again modify
the craft to farm landscaping rock. Selsum is easily found in nature,
festrates freely with atmospheric humidity, and produces ample and
reliable power with nearly zero maintenance. No doubt Kalamity Dick's
Cheval Mechanique would have been a success had the two ideas been
paired.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Jan 05, 2023 11:10 pm

Did anyone around Chugwater have a cat for a pet?
I think this one belonged to someone in town, but the records for pet licenses were lost in the big explosion discussed on October 09 of last year. It doesn't look like the cat in the later photograph later in that discussion. I wish they would have written on the back of these pictures. Research would be easier!
cat2.JPG


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jan 05, 2023 11:21 pm

From a time when these beasts were known by their right and
proper name - sleen. And yes, sleens were quite common across
the Basin in both wild and domesticated versions. One of the few
animals Kalamity Dick was not allergic to, his pet sleen "Phydeaux"
was a gift to him by the French government for his work on the
Kaphistulator of Marseilles in 1912.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Kaiser » Fri Jan 06, 2023 5:12 am

Wan't it Heinrich Fjord who said "If i had asked the people what they needed they would have demanded a faster horse" well voila there you have it, as the French saying goes...
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 8-)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Jan 06, 2023 11:27 pm

Heinrich Fjord may have said a lot of things about faster horses, but his
heart was in perfecting the selsum-fueled woonsocket. Even Murla Marples
got a ride or two. She loved to pick juniper phalanxes along the road to
Humptulips Junction.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Jan 07, 2023 10:48 am

Horse quotes by Heinrich Fjord:

"When better horses are bred, Buford will raise them"
"It's slower horses, younger whisky, older wimmin, less money"
"You can have any color horse you want, so long as it's a blue roan"
"I woke up a little horse this morning"
"Never trade horses in the middle of the riviera"
"If wishes were horses, there'd be a stampede"
"A horse ! My king bolt for a horse"
"Never look a gift horse in the pharynx"
"If I had a big, white, flashy horse, I wouldn't be the kind of guy I appear to be. I'd be different, I'd be better - a hero right down to the letter, and all them pretty women would be after me."
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 07, 2023 10:58 am

"I woke up a little horse this morning"
Sounds like he may have a little colt. Take Nyquil.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Jan 07, 2023 11:45 am

Speaking of a horse of a different color, Nyborg Quillase (known as "Nyquil" in the basin) ran a carriage for hire in the early days. The secret of his success was a team of four-in-hand zebras. Folks were wild to hire this elegant turn-out for special occasions. Of course he was available weekdays for common trade, so, Fjord's colt being too young for work, he very well could have "taken Nyquil".

There were gainsayers in the burgs who were suspicious of Nyborg's zebras, claiming it would be impossible to get them from Africa to the middle of Wyoming. Others vouched for their authenticity in spite of the fact that Quillase purchased an unusual amount of shoe polish; both black and white . . .
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jan 07, 2023 1:34 pm

In April of 1902, the first class began down at the Uvula League HQ
(room 417, for those taking notes), for Level I training on the operation
of Kalamity Dicks ill-fated Cheval Mechanique. Hiram Chittenden Locks
is shown mounted on the trainer that first day. Hiram would go on to
perfect the nasal selection process, patenting it in 1924. It became
widely known as "nose picking", and remains popular today.

KDcheval1.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Jan 15, 2023 2:54 pm

A very rave photo of the boys not in the backroom at Ernie's.
backroom.JPG
It is hard to imagine these guys in their younger years.
Was this dogs name Jack?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Jan 15, 2023 3:23 pm

I'd like to know more about that kid's horse. It appears to be pedal powered with a moveable head.
The group in the next photo wore lead-soled boots with hooked cleats to avoid being blown away on blustery days. I believe the dog went by the nickname "Cap", which was short for Captain Mandibles. He was well-known for his mellow, well-modulated bark as well as his ferocious bite.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Jan 15, 2023 7:07 pm

The Junkyard Stallion had a number of moving parts. A modified reflatrtaminator from the phase 3 Guilderfluke gave ease of motion except in reverse. Genikab windings limited overfletch. As said, it was horrific how much fuel it consumed in an hour and KD went on to more practical phobias.
That is Claude Clark on the Rocking Horse. No joke. Look it up. 1902. The rockers are joined by five splats firmly dowelled in, and the two halves of the horse by footrests, joining the forelegs, and a seat fixed between the two sections of the body. Underneath this seat, and proceeding to the middle splat between the rockers, is a short iron rod to give additional strength. Short bolts for the feet and one long bolt with a nut above and below the splat, and others above and below the seat are plainly shown. The nut above the seat goes into a square hole made for that purpose. Washers prevent the nuts wearing into the wood.
Larquvonnit's "Design for nursery Furniture and Fixing Figs for Holidays" shows to scale drawings of this one and the Dash-away perambulator if you need to know more.
Thanks for asking.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Jan 15, 2023 8:17 pm

Claude Clark 1915 /1998?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Wed Jan 18, 2023 7:58 am

As we move into the new year amid numerous challenges, old and new, experts report that the Underlicked Envelope Crisis continues to deepen. Both advocates and experts agree that a catastrophic global collapse is unavoidable unless the new congress acts swiftly to erect and fully-fund a new, broadly-empowered, cabinet-level federal agency commissioned to develop and implement sweeping programs aimed at addressing and alleviating the rapidly worsening underlicked envelope crisis. Stopgap, state level measures involving voluntary counseling and use of damp sponges and inexpensive hydro-atomizers have proven to be wholly inadequate to the challenge of bringing any meaningful relief to the many victims, stakeholders, and others impacted by the ever-widening crisis. Advocates insist that nothing short of an holistic societal reset marked by burning dumpsters, vandalism, and general street violence will be necessary to begin the long march toward a brighter, underlicked envelope free future for America's children.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:00 am

I am pleased to hear of a move for an agency to address the problem. We all know that addressing the envelope is almost as important as proper licking. I hope they can lick it.
Kalamity Dick always approved of the U S Postal Service and voted for it nearly every election. His Salivtrinsick Slurpatiphone is still used in some small districts even to this day.
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We all remember the chaotic and violent episodes behind Ernie's when the spirit deliveries were late.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Wed Jan 18, 2023 11:05 am

The USPS never should have moved away from the tried and proven mechanical mucilage moistening equipment.
Attempts to replace it with digitally controlled synthetic guar gumming devices has been a notable failure, not to mention the fact that the synthetic guar gum plantations have destroyed millions of acres of virgin rain forest and driven the Buttolph's Crenellated Cockatoo to near-extinction.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Wed Jan 18, 2023 11:07 am

No wonder it's become so difficult to get really tasty library paste these days!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Jan 20, 2023 3:02 pm

Speaking of libraries, I hope they were not burning books to keep warm. Was that log supposed to fit in the fireplace
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?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Jan 20, 2023 4:11 pm

That's no stump. That's an unfortunate scholar who became hopelessy stumped while researching the little-known Clapwaller Rebellion.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 20, 2023 6:42 pm

That is a lovely photo of the Biffle twins warming themselves by the inglenook.
Twinz.jpg
Having taken the train by themselves from the crowded church school in St. Louis, they hoped to find a home out West with their brothers. Little did they know what troubles lay in store for them when they got there. Four months on poor meat, without flour, and the last three weeks on pickled squirrel kidneys, had made them surly and ill-natured. When they realized their brothers were up to no good their only choice was to take work as snipins collectors at the helix mill. It was Ernie who took them in... Well, you can read all about it in "Trials of the Unbegested" by Thermo Slapinsovitch.
A Golden Splinter Book.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Jan 23, 2023 2:20 pm

whisker club.JPG

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jan 25, 2023 5:18 pm

Thanks for the reminder, Herb. I think we all remember the scrutinization we delved into a few years ago about Shakey Bob's barber shop.
ShakyBob.jpg
The inception of the Whiskers Club nearly put Bob out of business. It did leave him out in the cold. Were it not for pulling teeth and tuning glamfauldments he certainly couldn't have survived the Nutmeg Incident. Oddly enough, it was his frequent nicks and blood spilling that necessitated forming the Club in the first place. And by the same token, the Nutmeg Incident may not have occurred at all otherwise.
Another example that what comes around, goes around and visa versa. Or, vice versa as we used to say over home. :lol:
I should mention that is not Conrad Biffle in Herb's photo, although the resemblance is incredible.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Wed Jan 25, 2023 6:06 pm

Definitely not Conrad Biffle. It's also worth mentioning that several of the Whiskers Club members who affected top hats were periodically mistaken for Kalamity Dick. Although he was not a dues-paying member, the club trustees inducted him as "Whisker Emeritus at Large" with full member privileges for inventing the self-propelled automatic mustache waxer. Cuthbert joined by mistake, thinking it was the "Whiskey Club". He soon resigned his membership, commenting, "I don't need no dudes in berled shirts tellin' me how to grow my mustache. What this county needs is some serious study on the ol' red-eye, tangle-foot, forty-rod, valley tan, or what all ya may call the swill them bootleggers up at Yorehed's Hollow are a-brewin'."
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 27, 2023 5:05 pm

That's very true, Rich. Not only were they mistaken for Kalamity Dick, but often, Kalamity Dick himself was mistaken. Periodically mistaking himself and being himself, mistaken. At times he became so obsessed with a task that he forgot who he was until his senses returned to normal. He occasionally appeared at the "Whiskey Club", thinking he was, in fact, Conrad Biffle or one of the Paisley cousins. Wearing the top hat, nobody realized it was he, but perhaps someone they were mistaking for him. Perhaps the berled shirt added to the befuddlement.
All and all, I think I agree with Cuthbert as to the bootleggers up at Yorehed's Hollow, a-brewin'.
Or am I mistaken?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Jan 27, 2023 7:27 pm

Thanks for those observations, Rich. In fact, the historical record shows Kalamity Dick was only mistaken once, and that was when he thought he was wrong, but it turned out later on he had been right all along. States of altered consciousness were another thing altogether. It would be a mistake to assume KD had an alcohol problem, based on the recount of identity confusion outlined above. Both he and Cuthbert maintained a healthy equilibrium of temperance, in spite of their mutual fondness for Happy Sally, and a connoisseur's appreciation for the differences inherent in the "interesting" tipples produced by the various distillers in Yorhed's Hollow, depending, of course, on which producers were out of jail in any given month.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Jan 29, 2023 5:40 pm

As popularity of the "Whiskers Clubs" had become, several cropped up in different locations throughout the Valley. Some suspicions were raised in regard to the Burgett and Thornton Club but with nothing to go on, the authorities' misgivings were eventually discounted.
Whiskerx.jpg
Had they worn top hats, it might have been an entirely different matter.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sun Jan 29, 2023 7:44 pm

The riders of the B-T were pre-approved for their bunk house Whisker Club charter. The amount of hair the boys grew had been a Wyoming legend for years. They elected Deaf Jones their point man to attend the state conference in Cheyenne. When the delegates passed a resolution adopting top hats as official Whisker Club head gear, Deaf Jones mistakenly reported to the boys at the B-T that ". . . them fellers in Cheyenne sez we're all gonna be top hands !"
Chicken fried buzzard lips are back on the menu at Ernie's thanks to the polo vortex.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Jan 30, 2023 2:24 pm

Eventually Deaf Jones was fired from the B-T for a few similar but disastrous gaffes that owed to his impaired hearing. He shaved, cut his hair and began catching odd jobs around the Basin that didn't require him to take orders or follow directions. At one point in his travels, he was yet able to hear the piteous braying of a burro colt who had somehow gotten separated from his mother. He bottle-raised the little animal who became his constant companion. As Jones' hearing worsened, one day the burro saved him from a cattle stampede by nudging him to safety. Jones never heard them coming. As time passed, he began to notice how the burro would communicate many aspects of sounds in the environment which Jones could not hear. It was thus that Benny (so Jones had named him) became the world's first (and probably only) Hearing-ear Burro, and Jones treated him better than some men treat their wives.

Kalamity Dick spent a month in the Veedawoo with Jones and Benny, observing their interaction, in hopes the insight thus gained would lead to perfecting his voice activated remote contol for the Model 33 Kaphistulator, which incorporated a parrot and a gramophone transvaporated into the whanglister cycle.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 30, 2023 3:36 pm

Thanks, Rich. I wanted to mention this last year. The whanglister cycle involved not only the gramophone, but a plethora of gnarled, anfractuocated Wurlitzer velocipies and whimphrams. The accidental mangling of one of the parrots did make the Mandel gramaphone a better choice.
KDParrotz.jpg
By the way, the climate in Veedawoo was perfect for KD's lumbago and he would have stayed longer were it not for the incident with the cleaning lady.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Mon Jan 30, 2023 5:00 pm

That's actually a Hearing Ear Burrito. Though usually docile, they were capable of delivering a vicious kickback. Attempts to market them as a snack food item met with little success as reports of kickback injuries began to circulate. It's a little-known fact that parrots were used to teach talking machines to talk. The tone left something to be desired, but the machines did produce intelligible speech. The better ones could reproduce grand opera with startling fidelity. Not a few parlor mirrors were cracked when a talented diva cut loose.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Tue Jan 31, 2023 1:30 pm

He often said playing music was a racket
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!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Feb 05, 2023 11:38 am

Ah, the ORIGINAL "Four Preps". They came together around 1910 and eventually found success when Oscar the Zonk joined the tight-knit group in the summer of 1913. They toured the Northwest lumber camps extensively prior to The War, and were only rarely pelted with vegetables. No recordings are known to exist.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:21 am

This one was found only recently. No explanation
osca.JPG
was to be found with it.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Feb 17, 2023 7:19 pm

Herb, thank you for providing that brochure. It's a miracle one survived, as the rest were rejected by the partners, and destroyed by the printer, Elmo Hotfinger, whose print shop featured the first Line-O-Type machine in the basin. Obviously the print job was rejected for the glaring errors Hotfinger had made setting type for the job. The header should have read "Osca the Snake Friend", and "The best wired exhibition of modern times". Here's the story: Osca Meir discovered that a rare breed of snake found only in the Basin was capable of producing an electric current when it slithered over a permanent magnet, the essence of the principle upon which the magneto operates. Pursuing this phenomenon, Osca fortuitously made the acquaintance of Humphrey Wainwright (photo below) who had been keeping the peculiar serpents as pets, and had bred a particularly biddable strain. The two formed a partnership with the intention of providing portable electric lighting for traveling tent revivals, carnivals, circuses and the like, but prospective clients found their methods shocking, and besides, the snakes never got off the "ground".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 18, 2023 3:43 pm

Not to be confused with KD's cousin Reginald Tweestslither, twice removed from his Mother's side.
Reggie.jpg
Reggie gathered ophidians for their pelts. As they generated no current at all, their coats provided insulation for the dynamos at the Helix Mill. Their venom was harmless too and made a tasty custard often served at the Terminal Cafe, mentioned sometime before the epidemic.
Thanks for mentioning Osca. I miss him even still.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:59 pm

Not enough has been said about the Tweetslithers. As the above photograph attests, Reggie was an amiable fellow with a sunny disposition and an engaging smile. Doubtless it was this gentle disposition that accounts for his success with reptilians. That disposition and predilection was passed on to the Tweetslither children, witness this photograph of Reggie's eldest daughter Aspidistra and her favorite alligator Heimlich, who was her constant companion and loyal pet.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 18, 2023 5:59 pm

Not a care in the world. The only worry was that Elmer Biffle had heard there were serval allegations against him, and he vowed to track down and do away with the alligaters.
This led to some sleepless nights but I'm doing better now.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Feb 23, 2023 9:32 pm

Tut tut looks like rain.JPG
What year was the big flood in the basin?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:47 am

This would have been the year before the last one. Floods were popular in the Basin for a number of years. That's Felton Breathwhit in the foreground operating the intake on his vacuum fishing device (another Kalamity Dick invention). Felton ran a highly profitable fish and chowder house in the home seen in the background. Reduced stream flows in later years left the Sludge Creek drainage a stagnant slough. With the fishery gone, Breathwhit tried a frog-leg and salamander menu, but vacuum fishing was ineffective for taking amphibians. Eventually he turned his hand to moss farming.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 25, 2023 1:48 pm

The Breathwhit Fish and Chowder House was the place to go on a Friday night during its heyday. Fish were jumpin', and the cobler was fine.
Breathwh.jpg
They still talk about the argument Kid Shelleen Garth Spadaford got into about the pronunciation of the word "praline". Such a trivial difference shouldn't have led to such violence but times as they were it wasn't surprising.
Notice in the photo, the belfry is gone.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sat Feb 25, 2023 2:56 pm

It is a little known fact that the extremely high sugar content of pecan pralines was the cause of many Texas bar room brawls. The"sugar buzz" from the pralines combined with the nitrates in the pickled pigs feet and the bad whiskey to bring out the worst in the trail-worn cowboys. No wonder Miss Kitty and the Girls stayed upstairs.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sun Feb 26, 2023 5:17 pm

It's likely a praline addiction and a sugar intolerance may have been the cause of Slug Spadaford's incessant bad behavior. On the occasion of Thomas Edison's famous trip to the Basin for consultations with Kalamity Dick, Slug attempted to hold up the famous inventor. (see photo below)

However, the attempt was quickly foiled by the timely appearence of Kid Shelleen and the Chugwater Vigilance Committee. (not shown) Mr. Edison's broad smile owed to his deliverance from inevitable mayhem at the hands of Slug and his evil henchmen.

Accosted for the vile attempt to rob and kidnap Edison, Slug stated in his defense, "Aw, shucks. I was just funnin'. I warn't gonna rob him or hurt him. I just figgered them Eastern dudes like to 'sperience the Wild West so's they kin tell the folks back home how rough it is out here." No one was buying Slug's flimsy alibi, but judge Dumbrow let him off with a warning anyway, as no actual harm had been done.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Mar 03, 2023 3:03 pm

Well sometimes you get lucky!
These were found recently in the same shoe box in an attic where KD had once stayed in his later years. It shows some of the guys who were regulars at Ernie's plus the Town Hall under construction. I just wish they would have written the back of these photos back then. I guess it didn't matter if you were there you knew who you were looking at.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Mar 03, 2023 4:08 pm

Indeed a fortuitous discovery Herb, thank you. The staff at the Institute is already busily at work identifying the crowd at Ernie's. Readers will be amused to learn the reason the city council opted to build with masonry. In a strangely unique happening, the old town hall simply wandered off one afternoon and never came back. (see photo) the original plan was to complete the ground floor rooms after flood season.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Mar 03, 2023 4:11 pm

The old town hall picture reminds me of that delightful classic movie, "From Hell It Came", also shown under the title, "Tabanga, Spirit Of Revenge". (1957)


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Mar 03, 2023 7:20 pm

Oh, not so, Pat. It came from Chugwater, a good 50 years prior to your reference. I doubt if there's any connection at all.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Mar 03, 2023 7:29 pm

It looks as if the building is being carried off by four Tabangas. The movie had to make do with just one Tabanga.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Mar 06, 2023 3:12 pm

The Tabangian style of construction proved quite nicely as a garage and flood resistant dwelling, particularly in the Lower Basin during the drizzly season.
Tabang.jpg
Ernie had plans to elevate the Saloon at one point, but when the price of ladders went through the roof, he had second thoughts. The question of what to do with the basement also came into play.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Kaiser » Tue Mar 07, 2023 5:20 am

A ladder UP to the saloon is not a bad idea, but a ladder DOWN from the saloon proved to be an unneccesary addition. Patrons had a hard enough time to get home after a visit anyway and most ended up on their face in the street even without the ladder.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Tue Mar 07, 2023 9:27 am

The Gravity Exit System proved to be economical, safe, and reliable. There is no record of any patron, no matter how "confused", having ever fallen up. A few incidents of well-stewed exiting patrons falling down the Up Ladder and colliding with ascending patrons are known, but it was all considered good fun, and no lawyer was ever able to gin-up a lawsuit over it.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Mar 08, 2023 1:55 pm

KD experimented with gravity quite extensively hoping to get folks in and out of Ernie's more easily. Here we see his travisklacktomity conversion of the guiderfluke whilstead.
antiGrvty.jpg
It proved quite successful for ferrous and nonferrous metals but problematic for animal and vegetable material.
You may recall his treatise on the Ronco Prob-le-matic. Vol. 4 number 6.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Wed Mar 08, 2023 3:36 pm

After several unhappy transmissions of people, livestock and vegetation, both comestibles and decorative, KD pondered whether the fault lay with the complexity of the control panel (see photograph) or the attitude of the operator.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Wed Mar 08, 2023 3:53 pm

KD suspected the operator he hired, Alf Fogelblargh, was not fully attentive to all the details of operating the travisklacktomity conversion. An otherwise fully accredited and reliable guiderfluke master operator in spite of his penchant for opting to travel about mounted on his pig Rembert, he seemed to resent the conversion dynamics of the travisklacktomity addendum. Perhaps it had to do with Rembert's disappearance shortly after Alf took control of operating the machine full time. The gift of a large ham the following Easter from the Ronco Prob-le-matic folks did nothing to mollify his sour mood. This is when KD vowed never again to leave his experimental machines in the hands of hirelings.

Then again, perhaps Alf was simply one of those phlegmatic personalities. He certainly appears none too cheerful in this photo of himself mounted on Rembert in happier days.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Mar 08, 2023 5:48 pm

That photo reminds me of the race between Rembert and old "28" back at the Silverplume Ranch. Seems like both had magneto problems at the time.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Wed Mar 08, 2023 6:59 pm

In his day, Rembert was a fierce competitor. He especially liked to challenge the early motorcycle riders in the "teens". Rembert won most of his races on wet, muddy roads that totally bogged down his wheeled competitors, giving rise to the oft-repeated phrase, "happy as a pig in mud".

Trivia note: modern-day motorcycle enthusiasts like the members of Hell's Angels, and other refined, gentlemanly fraternal affiliations usually don't know that their propensity to refer to their machines as "hogs" originated with Alf and Rembert besting the "infernal gas machines" in their native element.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Mar 16, 2023 2:52 pm

The great Hungarian-American escape artist, magic man, and stunt performer, Henry Houdini, spent a bit of time in Chugwater transforming the catastafit windings from positive to negative flux for KD. He helped out at the local garage replacing piston rings without disassembling the engines. He also made pocket change guessing the air pressure in tires within 1 half a pound.
HarryHu.jpg
The pleasant climate and friendly people were a real treat to him compared to the mobs in Larchmont. He stayed for the Regatta only to be disappointed in its cancelation that year.
Folks recall the pleasant kazoo tunes they played into the night from the veranda.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Mar 18, 2023 10:15 am

Little Millie Larkvonnet was an only child. Precocious, as many only children are, other kids avoided her for her habit of using big words like "proboscis" and "menagerie". She had two devoted friends who went everywhere with her: her dog Aldo and her donkey Schopenhauer. The three never missed a kazoo concert, sitting quietly on the grass in front of the veranda. When Henry left town, he promised her, "I'll be back". The three would watch the road on kazoo evenings waiting for his return, but he never did. Rather sad, actually.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Mar 19, 2023 11:05 am

That is a Magical photo.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Mar 24, 2023 1:31 pm

Reviewing this topic, Bartholomew was intrigued by references to Kalamity Dick's soujourns in the far east. Very little is documented, so you can imagine his interest in this photograph of "Cat" Thompson (thus annotated). Arriving in the Basin concurrent with KD's return, Thompson claimed to hail from Khatmandu. He camped out in the sand hills southeast of Saddle String for one summer, then disappeared. He was last seen heading towards Radiator Springs.

Any further details that might shed light on a possible connection to KD and his travels would be most welcome. Contact Bartholomew at the Institute archives.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Mar 24, 2023 3:54 pm

Thanks so much for mentioning this. "Cat" and his moderately faithful friend, Francis, made timely deliveries throughout the basin.
Frnacis.jpg
The region was plagued with "Lockneck" derived from the famous monster. With out the pair delivering the pythagorean serum in the nick of time, disaster would have taken over and both the helix mill and Larkvonnet Industries would have disappeared into the abyss. Even Ernie's suffered a quarterly slump. How quick we take good health and attitude for granted until they are interrupted.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Mar 24, 2023 4:38 pm

Heinrich reminded me the slump at Ernie's was likely due to a Lockneck variant which prevented beer from flowing out of long-neck beer bottles. A phenomenon not unlike vapor lock in an automobile gas line. Curious, no ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Mar 24, 2023 6:28 pm

Perhaps the long neck "vapor lock" syndrome was related to the high alcohol content of the "really dry beer". Naturally, any cat would prephurr the very dryest beer available. Langendorf's Royal Lager was of such exquisite dryness that dry cleaning establishments purchased unlabeled barrels of it during the Prohibition repression, and certain dry cleaning shops did a lot of business out the back door. It's said that Mickey Mouse's trademark phrase, "Is everybody neat?" got its start among dry cleaners' patrons during this era.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Mar 24, 2023 6:54 pm

I tod I taw a puddy tat. I did I did!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Mar 29, 2023 10:14 pm

Did you know that there were attempts to whitewash some of the stories that are from the time of the gang at Ernie's back in the days when KD frequented there?
barrel of fun.JPG


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Mar 30, 2023 11:24 am

Herb's photo shows Rufus Bedstettler at his whitewash works in Chugwater Canyon. Probably the most infamous case of illicit "whitewashing" came after the endless winter of '23 when snow lay on the ground right up to the date of the Regatta. When thawing began to reveal patches of bare ground, Rafe McGinty, known malefactor and crooked gambler, stole the entirety of Bedstettler's inventory and whitewashed all the emerging ground, thus ensuring the Saddlestring team would remain snow blind for the competition. Realizing there was skullduggery afoot, KD reversed the amotimeter hopper on the Model 1-A Kaphistulator, turning it into an effective "black-washing" machine. The resulting contrasts along the shoreline prevented snow blindness, and the Regatta competitions came off without a hitch. McGinty lost a bundle on his crooked wagers, and the rough crowd at Ernie's ran him out of town on a rail. Such was rough justice in the Basin in them thar days.

Photo shows the "black-washer" in action. Thanks to the Institute staff for corroborating the details.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Mar 30, 2023 5:31 pm

What irked KD most about the incident was the whitewashing of his raceabout. It may have been accidental but the difficulty of finding it in the snow was exasperating. The amotimeter reversal had no effect on his machine's pale hue. Not only was KD hours late to the Regatta, but he was also late to Ernie's for Happy Hour. He was already in trouble for John Wilkes Larkvonnet's parole, so you can see the perdickamint.
28WhtWsh.jpg
Of course, nowadays, the government's subsidiary overhaul would have relieved all that.
Just a side note.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Mar 31, 2023 9:32 am

'22-'23 was a rough winter for KD. Compounding the annoyance of the raceabout's whitewash, continued cold weather and permeating ice raised hob with many of the raceabout's components, necessitating frequent thawing. Late in the season, Cuthbert offered an application of choke-cherry squeezings to stain the whitewash to the raceabout's customary deep maroon hue. This was just in time to save KD further aggravation as winter was once again imminent. The resulting "finish" proved durable for many years. KD contemplated the commercial possibilities of the accidental coating, but fruitless negotiations with Rufus Bedstettler for his whitewash recipe and unpleasant encounters with grizzly bears in choke-cherry groves precluded further development.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Apr 01, 2023 12:47 pm

barrister cigars.JPG
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the guy on the left has been smoking them longer than the other guy. it has stunted his growth1

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Apr 03, 2023 12:57 pm

Not to be confused with Banister cigars. Quite a fad in the '20s.
Banister.jpg
Here we see Godfrey Daniels, Nephew of the infamous "Great Scott", sliding down the banister at the Dutch Masters Mansion. As far as we can tell, Godfrey had never visited Chugwater or the Basin, yet seemed to live a whole and fruitful life regardless.
You may recall that he attended the rehearsal for "Mam Without Burlap".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Mon Apr 03, 2023 1:37 pm

Wasn't Godfrey a charter member of "Sliders United Against Splinters"?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Apr 03, 2023 5:18 pm

Indeed he was, Pat. And elected president of that aghast body four times, consecutively. Another charter member was Jerome "Jumpin" Jehosephat. Cigar smokers all, Jehosephat married a mysterious mid-eastern gal who was known only as "Muriel".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Apr 03, 2023 11:19 pm

moss.JPG
I'm not sure if this is moss, or who is holding it. it was found at the institute in an unmarked coffee can.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Apr 04, 2023 1:32 pm

Herb, how did you know it was a coffee can if it was unmarked?
Yes, that is Moss. Abigale Moss was the second eldest daughter of Daniel Godfrey Moss, investigator elect of the Helix Brewing Co. Not to be confused with the other two.
KD28.jpg
Here we see KD on his way to the ceremony just near the Moss farm. He was quite fond of Abigale despite the argyle handicap. Thus, the gloss on the top hat.
The photo of her depicts the marmot skin, tail included, that KD ran over previous to the included photo being taken. Mrs. Moss, the elder, had the remainder of the rodent fried and ready for the banquet after the ceremony for those who hadn't eaten. Ernie had some and it digested just fine.
There are two copies of that photo but the other has been inadvertently misplaced.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Tue Apr 04, 2023 3:08 pm

The correct wine to accompany a formal dinner of marmot is Chateau Marmot 1889, served at prescisely 44 degrees F
.
(Not to be confused with Chateau Marmoset of any vintage. The former is ambrosaic, while the latter is an utterly foul substance, with the bouquet of kerosene and the nose of a root hog)


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Tue Apr 04, 2023 4:37 pm

Geranium to this discussion, Bartholomew found this label in the archives collection of early Tri-Burg advertising materials. This should clear things up for Herb.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Apr 05, 2023 7:02 pm

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More barrels. I wonder if they are wearing underwear.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Apr 06, 2023 11:06 am

I see that the three fellows hitchhiking have barrels with no labels also. Had they the foresight to label their barrels, they might have better results as did Rudolph Bratencaster, shown here.
Rudolph.jpg
Rudolph was bookkeeper at the Helix Mill during seasons XLV thru XXIII. He managed to escape the Fenugreek Incident.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Apr 06, 2023 12:40 pm

Hiking within a barrel shell offered the opportunity to curl up inside it and roll down hills, thus saving many steps in hilly country. While some frowned on the traditional nudity of the barrel hikers, it did obviate any need of laundering clothing while out on the road. In addition, the barrel provided some bouyancy, which was most welcome when crossing broad reaches of water. The barrel hiking practice fell out of favor following The War. Some say it was due to the widespread adoption of "ready made" store-bought clothing and mass-produced footwear.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Apr 06, 2023 2:03 pm

Wearing clothes for this insertion, barrel walking was a good was to traverse the terrain also. Even a youngster could master it if properly nourished.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Apr 06, 2023 2:32 pm

The popularity of barrel hiking inspired Duke Fitzellwitz to write the ever-popular lines "roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun. . ." lyrics to the lively polka he titled "The Unmarked Coffee Barrel Polka". The gang down at Ernie's couldn't get enough of it, and the crowds who flocked in for 2 Cent Beer Tuesdays could be seen bouncing to the spirited refrain like a bunch of drunken kangaroos, requesting the band to play it three or four times every set. Given the circumstances, it's no wonder the song title was found lengthy and cumbersome. Most folks nowadays know it by other, shorter names. It was owing to the incredible repetition that Duke opted out of the original Kazoo lead, and took up the accordion.
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