OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 17, 2019 10:58 am

Of coarse the Choline Bitartrate and Niacinamide in Geritol originally came from de-carbonized pronouns from the back corner of the alphabet mine. Benny helped extract the fluids mornings and assembled the swig bikes in the afternoons. Missing choir practice because of this landed him in detention twice on Saturdays.
Not to mention the spilled Bardahl.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 17, 2019 11:15 am

Christmas always reminds me of the party they threw Percy when he was home on leave. Having survived the skirmishes with the U-boats and the Dirigible strafings, not to mention the prune juice epidemic, the whole gang of friends and relatives turned out to honor him. Happy Sally flowed like buttermilk and mushroom and parsley treats abounded. Felix railed in from Handsome Eddy and Handsome Eddy rode in from South Felix. He helped with some of the demolition being a Second Class Figurectalist. Ernie persuaded Hobo Jack to have Clams shipped in from the bogs. Except for Florence tripping over the sousaphone it was a good time nobody could forget.
Percy live to be 93 before the gendarme caught up with him and was named Dime Magazine's Man of the Year in the 40s.
XmsErniez.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Tue Dec 17, 2019 2:27 pm

Is that Miss Blue to the right of the photo. I know the photo is in black and white but if it was in color and her hat was blue we would know for sure. "Everything is better with Blue Bonnet on it." was a phrase often said as she was on the committee for the legalization of mushrooms in the early period following the drought in the Tri-Burg area.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 17, 2019 2:58 pm

Good eye Herb. The blue does come through even in black and snowy. For years Kd used the tangy spread as a lubricant on the verosipator rather than Monagram Slick.
Some sculptors are still suffering from the drought.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Dec 17, 2019 8:38 pm

Longtime readers of these archives will be gratified to note this historic photo shows (left to right) Mookie Moustrap, Cuthbert “Mad Dog” Maddox, Kalamity Dick and Kid Sheleen forefront at the bar. Others may identify their companions.

Miss Blue was often in need of cheering up. Happy Sally was if great help to her in her personal struggle with chronic depression in those days before Prohibition.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Dec 17, 2019 9:10 pm

No one is going to mention Horrible Hound ? ..... who ran the Spadafora Gang
up Trinity Creek into Box Cañon with Sheriff Funk-Knuckles, thereby ending that
terrible crime and terror spree.

As a total sidenote, it was Felix that invented the helix, .. predictably with some
conversation and consultation with our protagonist, KD ... and a tew tips of the
Happy Sally flask. The Felix Helix is in use in every country on earth today and is
standard engineering operating procedure in all the manuals. Ask Mr. Perwerthy for
a demonstration next time you see him.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Dec 18, 2019 8:42 am

Interestingly, the whole idea came to Felix while staggering up the spiral staircase from the basement at Ernie's. Kd borrowed a vanadium twisted tangent line from the alphabet mine and a bag of logarithms and they spent a whole afternoon knitting the prototype from steel wool.
I would offer that the fellow identified as Mookie is Percival himself. He may have used Moustrap as a code name when he posed as a double agent. We see his graduation photo from the squadron here:
DefinitlyPercy.jpg
On a happier note, Kid Sheldon was the one who brought the ginger snaps.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:44 am

Is THAT how they did it ??? Wow !

I remember talk around town when I was a kid about how it was quite the
spectical when they had to move it to the test area.

Heinrich says this photo is connected to the production facility, once they
finalized the design, but he's not sure exactly what is happening here:

KDsheets.jpg

One can clearly see the stacks of metronomic sheets in the foreground. KD's
signature belt-ribbed geopents are an obvious sign he had a hand in the entire
project. And to think, it all started here.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Dec 18, 2019 2:54 pm

Burger, explain the fellow in the lower left pushing the lawn mower! I know someone else will ask.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Dec 18, 2019 2:55 pm

Burger, explain the fellow in the lower left pushing the lawn mower! I know someone else will ask.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Dec 18, 2019 5:10 pm

I suspect the grass was growing around the Keflon base faster than normal. Always a problem in the Spring.

Tyrone found this copy at the local Thrift Store and wondered if it was pertinent.
DSC06608.JPG
Apparently values are increasing.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:55 pm

Richard reading your last post gave me the idea to do a quick internet search. I came up with this:
trouble at the mine.jpg
trouble at the mine.jpg (42.06 KiB) Viewed 20946 times
Perhaps Stan Howe could add some insight? This seems like the type of music he might know about.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Dec 18, 2019 9:04 pm

What looks like a lawn mower being pushed was actually a mushroom seed collector.
The floor workers at the mill ate a lot of the mushrooms, seeing as how Mabel Pinkwart
had a stand right across the alley, .... and all the stands offered a reward, much like a
recycling deposit, for dropped seeds collected and returned to the stands. The entire
Chugwater area was cutting edge in the pioneer ideas of sustainable resources.

People are often unaware of what a huge industry was created from the mushroom
stands, and equally as ignorant of the sheet collection industry that occurred on Lake
Metronome to supply the Helix mill. Huge sheet cutting and collection operations went
on all through the septic season, with crews of men out on the sheets, cutting them into
slabs with those giant saws we see in the antique shops today.

About 5 years into serious production, it was Kalamity Dick that noticed the thick, oily
liquid, and upon investigation, discovered the basic element that became the Helix Elixir
that is still sold today, and has been part of the proprietary ingredient makeup of Happy
Sally. Knitting steel wool is no small joke. Moving it in finished form is another.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Dec 19, 2019 9:12 am

The Helix mill supported several families in the area and specialists were recruited from Dannebrog. Ernst Schickelgrüber was promoted to Foreman of the Tachyphagia quarters while the mezzanine was being disinfected. Occasionally Moose wandered into the compound and were always adorned with ribbons and silly hats.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:25 pm

Your photo clearly shows that the Helix Mill boys were truly at the
end of the line. The Schickelgrüber clan were leaders in Helix milling
and processing, both in Europe and abroad.

Other Schickelgrüber points of excelling involved warmer climes. Here
we see Gina about to launch her rocket-powered inflatable horse, while
Fritz does a flyby in the background. Allied military commanders were
secretly thankful that this technology never fell into Axis hands. The
woman, close right, is elder sister of Winston Washington, Willamina, who
was also a tip-toe champion, in the women's category.

KDpool.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Dec 20, 2019 8:30 am

I suspect Fritz had been shot out of a cannon. That was popular then but not so much nowadays. It's hard to find men of that caliber any more.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Dec 20, 2019 12:19 pm

Fritz was the youngest of the three, and it was Ernst and Otto that actually
perfected the exact position of the arched back and cupped hands that enabled
human flight without the aid of cannons or other artificial propulsion. This level
of research, tinkering, and insight is what led to the close work relationship the
Schickelgrübers had with Kalamity Dick and other cutting edge thinkers of the Tri-
Burg area. It was a heavy blow to the entire community when the two elder brothers
were lost in a terrible crash, when they encountered the previously unknown occurrance
of wind sheer while doing aerial stunts at the Chugwater International Air Show &
Science Exposition. Fritz kept up with the work for another 20 years, but research
support and dollars dried up and the entire science is now largely regarded as "tom
foolery".

It was Fritz who developed the giant pineapple on a stick, as seen in the background
of the above photo.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Dec 20, 2019 3:21 pm

Tim Whoolery was manager of the Tri-Burg International Hairport in that era. Ground crew foreman Chad Placket was in charge of the wind shears used to keep the sagebrush on the landing strip at a manageable height. Chad never forgave himself for the part the wind shears played in the twins’ accident.

(Apologies to the contributors to this topic. I find my hearing loss is contributing to my lysdexia. Correcting any misunderstandings will be Bartholomew’s job as soon as he returns from vacationing in the Bermuda Quadrangle. )
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:51 pm

Tri-Burg International was truly a geographical oddity. A cloud of Pomade hung over the hairport in the late afternoon adding to the disturbing gradient. Dick himself nearly ran out of speed, altitude and ideas several times. His perfection of the wind chill wiper saved his life numerous times. Adding three wings to the Runabout and discarding the heavy chassis proved a perfect solution to defying gravity. Ernst loved to ride shotgun and said it was a "Double barrel of fun". The papers picked it up and used it whenever they could.
Sadly the cockpit was too small for the sousaphone.
(please forgive my language.)
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Dec 23, 2019 1:15 pm

KDhall.jpg
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Heinrich says the hall has been a festive hive of holiday revelers, with Christmas
just around the corner.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Dec 23, 2019 2:07 pm

Of coarse it is. KD was the paragon and essence of the Hollandaise Season itself. Folks swarm to celebrate in the big Hall just as they did Ernie's when the Ulva League held their pageant there. Dick ably assisted the Bell Ringing Choir by playing the G 6 with one hand and the C 9 with the other.
Even the Helix Mill shut down for the weekend. Hermione and poor little Bozo often broke into tears at the arpeggio. Duke Fitzellwits had the Sousaphone dinged out and harmonized beautifully.
Bellzzz.jpg
Some say that the Tri-burg area was most well known for the lavish celebrations second only to it's mushroom repalvtations.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Dec 23, 2019 5:47 pm

Truly an historic photograph which shows Kalamity Dick on the right, and Cuthbert Maddox on the left, flanking the ecumenical Tri-Burg Glorious Bell Bangers, from left to right, Rubin Thimblewit, Skippy Spaydaford (at age six), Elmo Furd, Roybahl Ferndip and Fr. Aloyisius, pastor of St. Swithin’s Parish. All the churches in the basin dismounted their steeple bells for the Pageant. Detractors claimed the Hollandaise Festivities were too cheesy, but they were extremely popular and well attended until the basin’s population dwindled as the alphabet mines played out. Following the mushroom blight of ‘34, The Triburg census showed a 90% loss of population in 1940. Sic transit Gloria Mundi. She moved away in ‘28.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Dec 23, 2019 9:20 pm

Gone but not forgotten. Truckers still claim to hear the bells during the Hollandaise to this day. Mel Pickard even wrote a song about it but I don't recall the title. Skippy was known to tinkle during the concerts even tho he couldn't reach a bell.
Grama Furd lived to be 98 but moved to Chappaquiddick after the pencil dusting.
"All is bell that ends bell" as the Mundi's phone man used to say.
Sleep Well.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Dec 23, 2019 9:52 pm

I think I speak for all of us, when I say that I always appreciated what the
Mundi's phone man had to say. He once told that one guy about doing that
thing with the Spaydaford's hoot-owl, and it nearly backfired on him. I have
always been skeptical. The numbers just don't add up. Never did.

KDcliff.jpg
It was during the fallout from the Nutmeg Incident that the Mundi's phone
man cut the Bucktooth Trail across the face of Mount Stinkmore using Kalamity
Dick's personal skistograph and side spoon, shortening the travel route from the
railhead at Silver Plume by 17 miles. This, of course, was before the rail line
was laid to the summit of Mt. Stinkmore. Heinrich is looking for that misplaced
photo.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:04 pm

That is quite a photo. It shows how precarious it really was. "Stay close to the candles. The pathway can be... treacherous."
That spot is near where KD found the short-cut to Tibet.
I was told that the remains of the hoot-owl are still on display at the Waldorf. No pun intended.
While Lugosi is torquing the Plumb Pudding I wish all a pleasant Festivus.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:44 pm

We erected the Festivus pole early this year. I worked until 1900hrs tonight,
came home for the Festivus meal, and we just wrapped up the airing of the
grievances. Going to take a break before starting with the feats of strength. 🎉

Heinrich came by after finding the photo of the rail, laid to the summit of
Mt. Stinkmore. It was during the survey that Kalamity Dick found the shortcut
to Tibet.

KDmtstinkmore.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:04 pm

Wonderful! I had not seen that end of the rail yet. Heinrich always enjoys the visits with you.

I suffered some scrapes and bumps during the feats of strength and wished KD's Kalimite Lotion was still available.
Kalimite1.jpg
The need arose from the Helix Mill as production spun faster and faster. Many shin abrasions became apparent. Kalamity found the sprucings from producing Kalimte was soothing to the skin. Mixing it with bog dredgings and participle hearts left over from the vowel mine in certain proportions provided a liniment that gave relief almost instantly.
Had Dick wanted he could have made a fortune on this wonderful product alone. But being so generous and kind hearted he donated the proceeds to the "Home for Unwed Brakemen" at the Union Pacific.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:55 pm

So, let me get this straight, .... KD developed both the Helix Elixir AND Kalamite lotion ? !!!
I guess I should have known. Just never connected the dots.

Heinrich does seem to like to drop in a lot. I think it has more to do with his enjoyment of
riding his surrey, or the Snomoto, when there is white stuff on the ground. He spends most his
time here pawing through the trunk of values, looking for clues. Why he does not load it up and
take it over to the Institute, I do not know. Maybe it is just an excuse to go surreying to leave
it here ?

Your mention of the Home for Unwed Brakemen brings back fond memories of Uncle Fonzi and
those giant stacks of pancakes. He and the other brakemen often worked late hours, painting the
underside of the moss barges for side money, when not called out on the rail. There is a great photo
of the building somewhere amongst us.

KDpaint.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Dec 26, 2019 3:01 pm

Yes, I believe that is my cousin Salvador with the brush.

As it turns out KD used the same bottling plant for both the Lotion and the Elixir. Sabastion tells me this is a photo of it but I have been a little skeptical. He did come in late last eve.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Thu Dec 26, 2019 5:00 pm

The podium plant perplexed the partons! The varnish never dried, couldnt have the papers falling down.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:01 pm

Somebody has a mixed up caption. That is a photo of Line 12 in the Podium/Lecturn
Shop, 3rd shift, at the Vestibule Factory. You can tell it is 3rd shift by the color of the
workers' suspenders. When the big podium market crash hit in 1919, KD was deeply concerned
for the loss of jobs for the lecturn craftsmen, and suggested to the plant managers that
the lines be phased over to production of the Triluvulent Modulator that he was working
on.

KDfly1.jpg

While a few skeptics thought the entire concept a sham, many were built for private and
goverment use on both sides of the ocean, and many credit their placement for keeping us
out of armed conflict between 1920 and 1940. One could always tell a Chugwater-built Tri-
-uvulent Modulator from the cheap knock-offs by the finely carved, crafted, and finished
speaking platform, ... a carryover from the podium days at the factory.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:49 pm

Good catch fellows. I had thought the bottling plant had steeper walls but didn't want to grill Sebastian after the difficult session at the Orthopedatrists. Those do indeed look like podiums now. Does anyone recall what the varnish problem was? Perhaps too much stenogobius?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:57 pm

The rumor I heard about the varnish not drying is that the fellows on the third shift would sneak Happy Sally in to the plant in their lunch boxes and one day someone mixed Happy Sally with the varnish in stead of thinner and the Happy Sally wouldn't let the varnish cure properly. It didn't matter to the third shift because they enjoyed a little Happy Sally mixed with varnish as it gave them that special shine.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Dec 27, 2019 1:58 pm

I have heard the guys at the Institute talking about the varnish drying problems,
but know nothing about it myself. What I DO know is that no one had to sneak
Happy Sally out onto the line. It was available right there next to the water cooler
in the break room. The Throat Warblers Union, Local 131 negotiated it into the
agreement in 1902.

Totally unrelated. Isaac Newman's son Figg, pumping gas at the Stinker station.
KDkidgas.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Dec 27, 2019 2:56 pm

Figg did learn to pump gas at an early age and turned out to be one on the most accurate petrol butlers west of the North Platte.
As for the third shift at the podium shop, they were such a rowdy, high-spirited bunch. Often arrested for outrageous shenanigans KD always bailed them out of jail after they settled down. Here we see them on a lunch break down at the bog where they managed to contain themselves.
Some may remember when they spiked the water system at City Hall with "Unhappy Sally" (A byproduct of the Helix Elixir). Not only did the Meter Maid become silly but at the starch came out of their cummerbunds.
The story was printed in the Chicago Defuncter" as proof the West was still Wild and Woolish.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Fri Dec 27, 2019 4:42 pm

Thanks for explaining the varnish problem Burger. Its much more clear now but sticky.
Thanks for the photo Rich! I had not seen a photo of ugly kid Joe till now. He is 9th from the right?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Dec 27, 2019 5:00 pm

Yes Dallas. 10th from the right if you count Bob.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Fri Dec 27, 2019 5:46 pm

Am I to understand Bob was everyone's helping hand? It is said you could really count on him. If you needed an extra hand, he could be there in two shakes and do a hand stand like no one else!

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:17 pm

Joe had always been a bit shy. Dating Kasandra MacHinery had left him a bit self conscious about the ear with the "R" on it. Pulling on it always made him go backwards. Being a whiz at applying varnish on the scrollwork landed him top honors at the Nationals. Apparently not being able to see the work was a decided advantage.
As for Bob, it went unnoticed that he was there at lunch and he never returned to work. Truck Drivers say that sometimes when the moon is full they can see someone waving from the bog and the faint chorus of "Cocktails For Two" drifts into the cab. Danfield Pickard even wrote a song about it but I don't recall the title.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:34 pm

"But I dont recall the title" was a good song but " I dont recall the words" is my favorite! :D


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Dec 27, 2019 9:20 pm

Looks like Bob's friend Neil is reaching out of the bog for a hand up (?).
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Dec 28, 2019 10:22 am

There’s the reason they called him “bob”.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Sat Dec 28, 2019 11:32 am

Didn't he have a job at the grocery store as the bag boy?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Dec 28, 2019 1:03 pm

As for the song choices, when I was singing my Father always requested "Far, Far Away".
Art's favorite hat reminds me of the one ''My dear old grandfather Litcock wore, just before they sprung the trap" (W.C.)
Bogwater Bob was named "Top Dredger" for 3 seasons in a row by the South Danube Street works. His cousin Limpy carved chrysanthemums at the Woolworth for 7¢ an hour. Charles fought for the petunia vigilantes. Alberto never found his calling but was always loved by the little old ladies at the candy store.
The whole family were devote Hupmobilists right up to the Christmas before Labor Day.
I think this milk is going sour.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Dec 28, 2019 1:15 pm

Speaking of which, Bartholomew just brought up an issue of “Hoard’s Dairyman” from the basement archives unsorted pile. An article within claims pre-1909 Hupmobiles can be modified to run on sour milk. Coincidence no ?

(It might be a good time to remind those who follow this topic not to read everything they believe.)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Dec 28, 2019 4:22 pm

That is an interesting theory Rich. I suppose the double breasted combustion chamber along with the pleated connecting rods would lend itself to better atomization than fresh milk. The 5-ball Kingston fermentator could be turned upside down and rastiplinator shavings added.
Which reminds me, I still have Bartholomew's teething ring should he need it.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Dec 29, 2019 3:55 pm

The use of alternate fuels was attacked vigorously by the Neptune Wagon Works,
which blossomed during the period when they built the series of mushroom support
stations all across the Tri-Burg area. As could be expected, KD did much of the proto-
-type research and testing at the Vestibule factory proving grounds.

Heinrich provided three photos of the Neptune rigs, hauling supplies to the remote
mushroom station sites from the nearest railheads. Winston Washington's brother Wilbur
was the primary mover and shaker behind these operations.

KDhrududu1.jpg
KDhrududu2.jpg
KDhrududu3.jpg

Able to run on sour milk or the fumes collected from dirty socks, the Neptune rigs were
cutting edge and are still in service at the Neptune facility in Dead Horse Gulch, above
Saddlestring.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Dec 29, 2019 5:35 pm

Neptune was a world class Wagon Work. The envy of the industry. If we zoom in and count three frames to the left (our left not your left) we see Kd proudly posing for the year end statement photo. Ufferous Maddox can be seen swagging the hub bearing (Right).
This brought posterity to two to the Tri-Burgs during those years. Employing dozens of battledashers and wipple corders was most welcome. Fortunately many of them could find work at the Pedistal works and mushroom hatchery after the construction was depleted.
Thanks for the photos. I was surprised to see the huge Gatsbytrauler.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Dec 29, 2019 9:58 pm

Rich, ... you have a disctinct advantage of being able to scan frames to the left and right.
I have the old spasmometer left at the telephone exchange building when they no longer required
switchboard operators. It is the single frame unit with the cast spandrels and gold leaf accents.

I am pleased to see KD wore his formal stripes for that photo. So much has been lost in our
cultural sense of propriety when it comes to how we present ourselves in public.

Just look at these guys ....

KDdress1.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Dec 30, 2019 6:26 am

Right you are Burger. KD was always a model of sartorial splendor no matter the occasion. He was never seen without his top hat, starched collar and tie no matter how dirty the job. In this instance, he wears his frog coat over a natty pair of swimming togs, anticipating a dip in the moss plantation pools when the Gatsbytrawler would arrive on location.

The propriety of dress so prevalent in those days when working men would commonly wear neckties, hats and suit coats over bib overalls and rough working gear, had the effect of uplifting and refining the standards and sensibilities of the populace. You’ll note Rich identified Ufferous Maddox in the above photo. As the Tri-burg basin advanced into the 20th century, the influences of modernization made lingering references to the recent “Wild West” era something of an embarrassment. It was at this time Cuthbert Maddox adopted the sobriquet “Ufferous” in preference to being called “Mad Dog”. This at the suggestion of Prof. Dimsdale, president of Scratchankle College at the time. Few persons know the meaning of the word “efferous” though the spelling is in question.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Dec 30, 2019 12:41 pm

Webstad's defines "Efferous" this way:

Adj. - A suggestive mannerism, often unwanted, except when accompanied by
song and choreographed dance ensemble. Thought to originate with Nubian
invaders, 16th century. A Tri-Burg area staple.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Dec 30, 2019 12:51 pm

As mentioned the swimming togs were an improvement in the moss plantation pools over lifting the trousers when sampling the product. The norm in those days was to dress to impress. KD was a natty dresser if not punctual. We see many workers in suits in the old photos.
Bogg1.jpg
As for the switchboard I always plug the porcelain Benjamin pin 7-A into the mass interrupter for 12 seconds before inserting the photo and then close the knife switch. A little ionized corn oil helps it slide into the socket. If you are using an astatic Thomson watthour meter 15 seconds may be required.
All this being careful not to touch the green enameled push-button cutler-hammer factory pendant light sockets for obvious reasons.

Do you remember the odd mole on Dimsdale nose? :geek:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:13 pm

“Webstad’s Compendium of the English Language and Assorted Tunafish Recipes” was a staple in most Tri-burg homes, along with the family bible and the “Mushroom Herder’s Almanac”, although most of Webstad’s definitions deviated from those found in first edition copies of “Funk & Wigmall’s American Lexicon”.

Prof. Dimsdale always maintained the curious mole on his nose was a blood-blister sustained when a Webster’s Unabridged suddenly closed without warning, but close associates maintained it never re-absorbed.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:59 pm

The mole was a bit odd, but friendly, as it had been hand-fed as a pup,
and was resultantly very tame.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Mon Dec 30, 2019 6:01 pm

I've seen better legs on a toilet bowl! :shock: :? :roll:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Dec 30, 2019 8:19 pm

In a rare interview with Nationalistic Tribalism and Blood-Borne Illness
Weekly Journal, Kalamity Dick was indirectly quoted as saying that he had
always been "function over form" in his thinking, when it came to objects
with names beginning with the letter "L".

While only anecdotal support to KD's indirect statement, local hero and
music legend Johnny Cask wrote of his friend KD, "He kicked like a mule,
and bit like a crocodile", referring to the 1923 incident when the Spadaford
Gang tried to extort royalties from KD, by stealing the central cyruminus
dynamo from the original kaphistulator design. During the incident, Billy
Spadaford made the fatal mistake of bending over to get a close look at the
'rhinestones' on KD's bootstraps, and like the strike of a snake, KD put the
whole Spadaford initiative into full retreat. No one expected such swift
and decisive action out of the mild-mannered KD. It would be the last time
Kalamity Dick's mettle would be tested in such a way. Billy Spadaford's skull
was later recovered from the same bog as the above photo, but his mind
was tarnished. Turned out that the sparkles he thought to be rhinestones
were simply metal shavings cast off from the leometric phosmatron.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Tue Dec 31, 2019 8:28 am

triburg navy.JPG
The old Tri-Burg Navy, very patriotic. They even had a dog that could walk on water!

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 31, 2019 10:32 am

Quiet a Nautical gaggle. We see our old friend Percival at the oars and a Captain Hook look-a-like at the left. Hearty souls and they kept the scoundrels from invading the Bergs.
One of my favorite Johnny Cask songs is "We got Married in a Speedster" which he sang with his wife July.
As for “Webstad’s Compendium of the English Language and Assorted Tunafish Recipes”, if you go to page 2435, the 18 cups of Turmeric should read 2 teaspoons. Ask me how I know.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Dec 31, 2019 2:44 pm

Johnny Cask had a string of hit songs a mile long; “Filson’s Poison Booze”, “I Ran the Mine” and “Goat Ropers in the Sky” were some of my favorites at about the quarter mile mark. Their daughter Roxanne was quite a performer in her own right. She also sang a little. I believe she had a hit with a tune called “Seven Year Acne”.

As for Webstad’s, a disclaimer noting the tuna recipes were intended for cat food, never got printed on the fly-leaf. Turmeric processors were giving Webstad kickbacks. Apparently the cats didn’t mind.

By the way Rich, how do you know ?!?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:30 pm

I requested "not asking". Let me just say that the metallurgist at the recycling terminal said he had never seen corrosion like that on cuspidors before. Even the porcelain ones.
Another note came in on Herb's Tri-Burg Navy melainotype. "G ♭"
Apologies, Leon Mandrake will be late for the second show.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Dec 31, 2019 5:39 pm

:oops: My apologies Rich. I should have second-guessed the note and refrained from asking. After all, a man’s cuspidor is his own ball of wax, to max a mitaphor as Sebastian is wont to say.

I see from the old clock on the wall we are mere hours away from having 2020 vision ! I’ll raise my glass of Happy Sally in a toast to all, and a gentle wish that the coming year will bring us peace and happiness. God bless !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jan 01, 2020 3:16 am

My favorite Johnny Cask song was "A Boy Eats Glue". The live version of the
"Goat Ropers In The Sky"/"Sheep Dipper's Blues" medley was pretty good too.
It was recorded at Fecklersburg Hall, don'cha know !

The Tri-Burg Navy remains the superior force in the Chugwater Basin. The
Chugwater Marine Corps, the fiercest battle group in all of Calhoun County.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Wayne Sheldon » Wed Jan 01, 2020 4:50 am

Herb I, is your dyslexia acting up again? Everyone knows that only God can walk on water. Of course, God sometimes comes for visits disguised as a dog.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Jan 01, 2020 7:52 am

Johnny Cask had alot of hits around the Tri-Burg area. "The Man In Back" and a favorite to sing at bed time " One Sheep At A Time". Some say it was June Starters mash that kept him on the wagon.

As for the Tri-Burg Navy, the vessels made them great. The bow and srern were shaped the same and could go forward as fast as backward. You notice the flags for and aft? To confuse their opposition. Also known for being the worlds smallest Navy as they only had the one floater.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jan 01, 2020 10:22 am

John and July preformed at Larkvonet Hall twice. Both times just after the simonize harvest. The Tri-Burg Navy had just docked and the hole crew attended the concert. Tuna under glass was served afterwards with the correct proportions of Turmeric to the audiences delight. It is often said "You can teach a man to fish but before you push him in say a little prayer". I'm not sure why.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jan 01, 2020 2:02 pm

Wayne, ... you be the judge. Photos don't lie. Scroll up and have a look
yourself. I think you need to remind yourself of the august body of research
fellows you have immersed yourself in before questioning the accuracy of such
serious intellect and observation.

=============================

Moving on, ... Previous mention of the Tri-Burg Navy's repulsion of undesirables
and keeping the scoundrel hordes at bay cannot go without bringing up the 1904
call-to-arms, when the Huns of Saddlestring raised an unknown flotilla of warships
and steamed up the mighty Chugwater to seize control of the Happy Sally.

KDwarships.jpg
KDwarships.jpg (74.9 KiB) Viewed 20171 times

Rightful keepers of the peace and all things virtuous, the Tri-Burg Navy deployed
against all odds with the Chugwater Marine Corps, under the direction of Lance Corporal
Velvet Magoo, and overwhelmed the invaders with the ancient warrior trick of camels
and women with flutes, lollipops and appealing features.

KDglasses.jpg
KDglasses.jpg (23.45 KiB) Viewed 20171 times
KDcamels.jpg
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How different things would be today.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jan 01, 2020 8:04 pm

The SS Larkvonnet proudly guarded the Happy Sally supply at all costs. Magoo insisted on ship-shape shipmanship at all times. Shown here is one of the banner wagging ceremonies conducted each weak to remind the seemen of their responsibilities to all. The camels, flutes and lollipops are not shown from this angle.
SSLarkV.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Jan 01, 2020 8:52 pm

KD attended these events on the second tuesday of each week?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jan 01, 2020 10:27 pm

What the Tri-Burg Navy and Chugwater Marines lacked in resources, they made up
for in resourcefulness. The Huns of Saddlestring were not only stopped, but captured
and forced into hard labor at the mines. Their warships towed to the impound yard
and slowly broken down for parts and materials for various projects. Much of KD's
chains, wheels, and sprockets supply was right there for the taking.

LCpl Velvet Magoo was a character that I am surprised to have not come up before.
Born along the old wagon road betwixt the Burgs in 1871, to Motate Magoo and his
wife Xenia Leopardskin (nee Sandstone), he lived his first three years in a box, on
account of having no skin. A rare genetic condition from his mother's side. He took
up smoking at age 2, and by age 10 was relying on soap as his primary source of nutrition.
This is where he got the nickname "Bubbles", which made him a hard and coarse individual
that in turn, made him an excellent leader in the Corps. Although taking his responsibilites
to the highest level possible, personal conflict between Magoo and Mayor Boonshongsay
stopped his advancement in rank at Lance Corporal, or "Terminal Lance".

Magoo's life was oddly different, yet similar to many Calhoun County pioneers. He built
a modest fortune for himself selling his own line of aftershave and making birth control
glasses from the bottoms of old Coke bottles. He was an author of romance novels in
later life. Many thought "Man Without Burlap" was a biographical account of Magoo's
inner turmoil in metaphor, minus the part about the worm syrup.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:23 am

A celebratory reminder that it was 105 years ago today, that the annual "Race
of the Ages" was held in Fecklersburg.

Trolley vs. car vs. bicycle vs. walking

Roy "Typhoon" Wonkstadtler took the cup that first year.

581767104.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 03, 2020 10:40 am

KD planned to enter with his momoputzopede. He was called away at the last minute to repair and adjust an ailing gilderflute ratchet at the Thoroglad ranch. It was fisting season and the hatchlings needed pruning. Wonkstadtler did win but by a mere 100 yards. The Franklin shown in the photo nearly won but the metric gasoline hadn't been calibrated for a Schebler.
The fellow in the side car was thrown from it on turn 7 and suffered a brused elbow. He later became Mayor of Winchester.
Evelyn Pickard even wrote a song about it but I don't recall the title.
Small world and if the creek don't rise.
KD1Wheel.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jan 03, 2020 12:11 pm

Rich, thank you for posting this picture of KD in his momoputzopede. Up til now, it was a strong point of contention between Bartholomew and Sebastian, who maintained the unique vehicle was one of KD’s inventions. Bartholomew held that no such machine ever existed, much less that such a thing was KD’s brain child. Alas, proven wrong, Bartholomew has gone down to the Institute’s basement to pout, as is his wont. We likely won’t be seeing him again before the venereal equinox, but that’s not a bad thing as he always emerges with reams of fresh newly discovered materials from the archives. That is, unless he sees his shadow. Penicillin helps.

Rumor has it the power unit from the momoputzopede still exists on the old Maddox ranch, having been grafted to run a Freeman baler. Perhaps a search through a nearby scrap heap would reveal the remains of the road wheel ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 03, 2020 3:20 pm

Actually the machine didn't exist but Kalamity put over 600 miles on it anyway. Only he was able to pull off such feats of transportational oddity. The photo was somehow caught in the same time warp as Ebeneezer's 2nd dream.
I searched the basement to sooth Bartholomew's mood but couldn't find him. Perhaps he is hiding in the floss.
Basement.jpg
I'm sure the power unit is still on the old Maddox ranch.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Jan 03, 2020 10:10 pm

Those two are always at odds about something ! They even argue with themselves,
if the other one isn't around. Having just purchased an orange-amber radio strain one
time, the two ended up in the custody of Federal Marshalls for violating the Winstein
Act, one insisting it was more of a honey-amber, while the other favored calling it
a "medium red-amber with honey undertones". It got really bad before it got better.
Come to think of it now, it happened during venereal equinox. We had all gathered
on the roof to watch it pass overhead. Don't forget to set your smoke alarms back.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:07 pm

d41586-017-07506-z_15251086.jpg
Lumber used to be sold by the board foot? This photo is proof, the bigger man got the best deal.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Jan 04, 2020 8:45 am

Do we have a street shot showing Ernie's bar? Perhaps it would show Bernie's which was next door to it in the same picture. There even was a door connecting the two establishments together, shown here in this shot. Not everyone in town was a patron to Ernie. Seen here is the town Barbershop Octet. I heard that they were quite entertaining but were originally organized to drown out the ruckus that came from Ernie's saloon. If someone fell off of the wagon they would just go through the door and Ernie would take care of their pain.
barbershop octet.JPG

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:34 am

They were interesting neighbors but some thought it was all done with mirrors. When the Flanagans built the tower it was 3 feet shorter and two blocks away. But then the Equinox always changed a lot of things.
The Winstein Act, what a debacle that was.
Ionization, photoelectric and combination ionization/photoelectric, that's the answer.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jan 04, 2020 12:44 pm

Grandpa used to say the same thing and hold this up:

carter.JPG

He also said reverse photoionization was key. I was but a wee nipper and
did not understand.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 04, 2020 7:01 pm

Ya, be careful where you nip. Osmosis is the trick.

While I was below looking for Bart I noticed this photo of KD showing Nimrod the Automatic Roller Bearing Installer from the second quarter. Notice the right hand feed.
RollerMch.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Jan 05, 2020 6:17 pm

It is often said that "Happiness is a belt fed weapon".

No belt required on the flume coming down from Silver Plume. I think even KD
took it into town a few times.

KDflume.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 06, 2020 11:36 am

KD did take that ride more than once. While we know Kalanity Dick and Cuthbert Maddox were no relation whatsoever with each other they did have a brother Melvin. Some outside the Tri-Burgs find that hard to understand but never the less...
Melvin talked KD into riding the "Plume". Maddox couldn't join them as the goats needed milking. Dick had a fear of water tressels but coceeded to accompany Melvin. One of Melvin's favorite chew toys fell into oblivion and KD gave him the old Family "I told you so".
His Birthday was in October from what I herd.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jan 06, 2020 1:17 pm

This happens to be the only extant photo of the three unrelated brothers. Obviously, it was taken on the occasion of the embarrassing coyote/jackalope incident. Clever photography partially conceals the leg-irons joining KD and Cuthbert. Melvin was not arrested. He remained with the pair in the Rawlins jailhouse simply for moral support. This was rather ironic, since he had actually precipitated the incident. KD and Cuthbert were arrested while attempting to cover for him. Things may have gone differently if the flume had not run dry, but enough has been written on that subject. When Aunt Melinda Toggle vouched for the boys, Sheriff Bootstrap agreed it was all a silly misunderstanding. No charges were filed, which left the boys’ record with the law spotless as ever.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jan 07, 2020 1:45 pm

And a huge thanks to Aunt Melinda. I think we all know what those spots on our record can do! Duke Fitzellwitz's career was never the same after the battery incident.
FitzSpotzz.jpg
Some will recall he heard his dead Exide could be revived by adding sodium chloride to the solution. Subsequently he was arrested and charged with Salt in the Battery. The charge did not take and he was released but the spots could not be removed even with careful deconfabulation.
6 volts as I remember it.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jan 07, 2020 9:21 pm

Duke enjoyed fabulous popularity on the black market. His signature song, Puttin'
on the Fitzellwitz always brought the crowd to its feet and was recorded by many
artists, both in the Tri-Burg area and beyond.

Other hits included:

Don't Touch Me There
Secret Asian Man
There's a Baboon on the Right, and
The Theme from Shaft

These all saw 10+ weeks in the Chugwater Top 10. His album 'Carburetors to Kumquats"
won a Granny, and 'Pull My Finger', 'I think I'm Gonna Be Sick', and 'If it Looks Like a Duck'
all were nominated. And this was just in the pre-war years.

Duke was a multi-talented man, also being accomplished as a penguin impersonator, bar
stool paragon, cedar shake splitter, eater of pancakes, and inventor of the color orange
and ice cream with fish bones.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:34 am

One of those is my favorite. For those who may have misplaced volume 3 here are the photos from the past. I hate to throw anything away.
DukesBro.jpg
DukeNSikd.jpg
DukeNSikd.jpg (42.36 KiB) Viewed 19712 times
"Stammering with the Sargent" never got the acclaim it deserved but was used as the theme song for "No time for Field-boots".
Check the spigot on the way out.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:58 pm

The fact that Fitzellwitz was suffering with a severe bout of hay fever while recording “Stammering With the Sergeant” made his performance even more amazing, something any sousaphonist can readily appreciate. The recording would have very likely led the hit parade if the movie, “No Time for Field Boots” has done better at the box office.

Producer Stanley Cubist had insisted on casting movie idol Douglas Behrflanks as the bumbling side-kick, a move which infuriated his fans. Disgruntled by being so egregiously mis-cast, Behrflanks gave a lack-luster, half-hearted performance which badly tarnished his reputation, and curtailed his popularity. Such is the way fortunes are made and lost in Tinsul-town.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Jan 08, 2020 4:42 pm

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The last perfomance raised the rafters! Tinsul town is but a gost town now!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Jan 09, 2020 9:32 am

swing machine.JPG
Little is known about Kalamity's venture into the medical field.
Here is shown his invention for relieving upset stomachs in children. It didn't go over very well with the FDA, they went round and round over it.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:26 am

Thanks for posting that Dallas. If we zoom in we see Douglas Behrflanks visiting the set. He went there to reminisce those Golden years. He would often bumble and side-kick in the rubble.
Zoooom.jpg
We know that Kalamity himself had much stomach trouble as a youngster. It very well may have been that tuna recipe.
The gyroscope effect it the last photo is analogous with that of the flackenpoth windsnuffer rotator design.
That may be Kermit seated in one chair but likely not Nimrod in the other. (shown at my left not yours)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:44 am

KD referred to his stomach device as a Veltswingher, for obvious reasons. It
is surprising that more photos do not exist of these. Many were built and sold.
4th Shift at the vestibule factory were in charge of production, denoted by the
blue and red suspenders, as part of their uniform. For service during the war,
all received a Silver Oak with Clusters award for honesty and bravery, personally
pinned on each by then-President Henry Thurman.

The drive and thrust units on these was a simple conversion of the kaphistulator
design, but fancy carved hand rests were employed, not only for user comfort,
but as a matter of civic pride.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:58 am

This is probably a later attempt. Or possibly an insomnia remedy.
KDmed792z.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:55 am

Looks like Momoputzopede proto type repurposed. Definately KD influenced Rich!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:58 am

That is Nimrod in the photo. Probably KD chose him for the test run as he was especially susceptible to motion sickness. KD’s inventions for alleviating pediatric gastric distresses are especially interesting as we study the history of KD’s varied achievements. In this case, it’s plain to see how the device in this photo evolved into the momoputzopede discussed earlier in this topic. At a certain point, KD had decided he didn’t really care if small children were nauseated. Nimrod had thrown up while riding in the raceabout one time too often, and Uncle KD simply quit giving him rides.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:01 pm

Ya,"what goes around comes around" or is it "what comes around goes around?" Anyroad, revolution isn't always a bad thing. Like when....
Oh never mind.
That being said, the research on the vomit was inevitable and could have made him wealthy if not for the Almond butter idea.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:10 pm

Another of his medical inovations was meatless meat. If memory serves it was called vegetablecheesefruiteggs. At any rate it was a mouth full.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 09, 2020 2:28 pm

Previously called a "Beefless pattie, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed croissant".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:52 pm

Kalamity Dick teamed with mushroom magnate Tyrone Shoolaces on researching
the expansion of the mushroom stand menu, as many across the country were clammoring
for more meat substitutes. Shoolaces was a business genius, but totally lacking in
creative skills. KD was brought in to work up innovative ideas that would keep
Shoolaces' stands fresh and exciting, through a diverse and cutting edge menu.
KD's initial research centered on meat replication through non-organic means.
Heinrich has a lot of paperwork from this project, and it all indicates KD's first
line of attack was to establish what the similarities and differences were between
various meats and other materials, in order to build a working base of experimental
items and ideas. And the first of these was fish and paint.

KD determined that fish and paint are indeed the same, based on:

1. they both come in many colors
2. neither have legs, and
3. they both hate turpentine

From these three conclusions, the paint-based fish alternative were developed,
making Shoolaces' mushroom stands some of the most popular across the Tri-Burg
area, much like Starfunk's Coffee is the best known place to get a fancy coffee
today.
More people are doing it today than ever before !

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Thu Jan 09, 2020 9:10 pm

I discovered this photo of KD's ranch where he kept his meatless cows
cow-bone-skeletal-3d-model-max-obj-3ds-fbx-c4d-lwo-lw-lws.jpg
1922 Coupe & 1927 Touring


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:48 pm

No bull?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:57 pm

No bull. It's right there in his notes, ... both hate turpentine !
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