OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Aug 30, 2022 2:01 pm

They were quite popular during the vegetable epidemic and for a few years after. Harpo Spadaford tried his best to get some of the acclaim with his "Jazz of all Trades" ferry.
Harpo.jpg
Guilderfluke power not only kept him up to speed with the other participants but homogenized mosses, ferns, reeds, rushes, and cattails as he motored along the undertow. Had it not been for his avid fascination with Skippy's movie exploits he might have made his fortune there.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Sep 05, 2022 1:57 am

Never able to extract pumpernickel from parsnips, Harpo Spadaford
(second cousin of Emil Concrete) turned to creating a market for what
he termed "Regatta Jazz". Buck Futz was his producer for the three albums
and subsequent promotional tours to support the records. His 1934 hit
"Don't Touch Me There" held the number one spot on the Saddlestring charts
for sixteen weeks.

Later, ... inspired by what the Euclidians said during the Nutmeg incident,
he went on to get pumpernickel out of parsnips, using Kalamity Dick's acclaimed
Effervescent Ragweed Tonic and a pair of 4 inch heels. Photos were taken,
but I was unable to format them by the required submission date.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Sep 05, 2022 2:53 pm

Excellent post, Burger, which opens up an entirely new facet of Kalamity Dick's many achievements and endeavors. Relevant to your post, the photograph shows Emil Concrete and his unique conveyance. Sole agent for "Dr. Saymen's Vegetable Wonder Soap", Concrete traveled much of the West and made a modest but comfortable living from soap sales. Interested readers will immediately make the connection to "Dr. Saymen's Effervescent Ragweed Tonic", rightly concluding that "Dr. Saymen" was none other than Kalamity Dick.

Always an astute merchandiser, KD heeded Cuthbert's caution when he said, "Don't know 'bout other folks, but I wouldn't buy nuthin called 'Kalamity' - sounds dangerous." KD appealed to the crowd in Ernie's, calling out "Say, men ! What do you think I should call this stuff ?" One grumpy patron hollered back, "Say, men ? That'll do." and took a long draught from his flagon of Happy Sally. KD mused, "Dr. Saymen ? That will do !

Incidentally, the vegetable element in the Wonder Soap was parsnips.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Sep 05, 2022 4:05 pm

Thanks Burger and Bingham. I was just finishing my pumpernickel and parsnips. Yep, two coats of Monkey Tan Finish followed by a warm bath.
Here's the Quick Answer
Sayman.jpg
Not to be confused with "Seymen's Vegetable Wonder Soup". No parsnips there to be sure.
An innumerable multitude of products were marketed by KD under various pseudonym's and tag lines. Modesty and an effort to avoid the accolades that interrupted his important work and kazoo practice. While there isn't room to mention all of them here most can be found in volume IIV through XXIV of "Important Products from the West Valley Produced by so-called Wizards".
Hennessey had extra copies at Squamish practice two weeks ago.
Thanks for mentioning the submission date.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Sep 05, 2022 4:28 pm

Alert readers will note the difference between the names - "Saymen", as adopted by KD and clearly emblazoned on Emil Concrete's cart (he was KD's sole agent), and the pretentious "T. M. Sayman" of St. Louis, millionaire purveyor of a variety of questionable nostrums, with nary a mention of the salubrious effects of parsnips ! The postcard illustration seems to imply earthworms were an ingredient in his counterfeit "wonder soap" ! Just an early example of big pharma squeezing out small operations. Clearly the St. Louis concern took unprincipled advantage of the purely coincidental similarity of names.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Mon Sep 05, 2022 5:03 pm

That klavern of quacks in St. Louis was eventually found to have been skimming rancid beef tallow off the river and using it as a "filler" in their gyp soap product so as to avoid the Missouri parsnip tax. The tallow, having floated downriver from the charnel houses of Chicago, was in a rather poor state. Local officials responded to the outrage by laying a tax on tallow, "from any source derived", thus saving the Missouri parsnip industry. All in all, it made about as much sense as powdered eggs, but at least no chickens were rendered.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Sep 08, 2022 8:34 am

Cacho Ortega.JPG
I've been looking for this one for a while. It was misplaced in the wrong file. Someone needs to re-do the filing system at the Institute.
Is this one of the Clanton's?
I don't think it is Ike. And I don't know if he is just coming out of Ernie's or not as there is not much background to identify the location. Things change over the years. Maybe that hill over his right shoulder still looks the same.
Any how the guy looks to be full of himself or Happy Sally whoever he is.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Thu Sep 08, 2022 8:37 am

I think that is the back yard of Ernies place and he is try to make it to the outhouse but I don't think he is going to make it...It may be too late already!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Sep 08, 2022 11:53 am

Yes, that's Totter's hill where the old Guggenheim barn used to stand. Larse Clanton was engaged to Beatrice Spadaford and this may or may not have been after celebrating that.
Re-filing the records will be done using a larger, Double Cut file.
Thanks for the notice.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Sep 08, 2022 4:42 pm

Larse "Lefty" Clanton (no relation to the Arizona Clantons of Tombstone fame) seized on their notoriety in hopes of joining Slug Spaydaford's gang of outlaws. Larse hoped to gain Slug's confidence by courting Beatrice, but when he shot off his right toe in an effort at quick-draw from that clumsy cross-draw holster, his hopes for a career in outlawry as well as the romance came to an abrupt end. Skippy Spaydaford took pity on him, however, hiring him to sweep the frozen custard stand on odd evenings after closing, until his foot healed.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Sep 08, 2022 4:55 pm

Two brimming bowls of Ernie's lima bean, fried spinach, bell pepper, garlic, and mountain oyster soup impelled him to seek immediate relief...

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Sep 08, 2022 5:15 pm

That may explain exhibit #11952B in the "DeFeet" section at the Institute. Heinrich will cross it off the unresolved index.
LftyzRghty.jpg
Thanks in advance for any clarifeckation this may lead to.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Sep 08, 2022 5:53 pm

Thanks, Rich. Everything checks out. Lefty favored lace-up broghans, and the size of the bullet hole matches the caliber of his S&W Schofield revolver.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Sep 09, 2022 9:33 am

The coincidental mention of the boot hole and yesterday's passing
of the Queen reminds me of the long ago study of how many holes it
took to fill the Albert Hall and the coordinated study of the hole capacity
of Guggenheim's barn. The verification teams of both the Institute staff
and patrons from Ernie's ensured an accurate count until the accumulated
void of the gathered holes caused the barn to implode. When the dust
cleared, locals found themselves staring into a deep hole in Totten's Hill
where the barn had been. Never ones to miss such an opportunity, said
locals stationed a relief station over the pit for those of Ernie's beanery
that needed relief sooner than later. A State safety audit surprisingly found
no relation to this event and the suspected mushroom gas issues going on
around the Basin at the time.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Sep 09, 2022 10:31 am

Prince Albert was quite pleased when the completion of the Royal Albert Hall allowed him to escape the cramped red tin and take up residence in much roomier and better-fitted quarters. Of course, he lost his previous impregnable privacy and had to share his new place with commoner riffraff and assorted musicians, mummers, and magicians.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Sep 10, 2022 12:18 am

It might be noted that Ernie was a founding member of the
Mummer's Union.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Sep 11, 2022 10:53 pm

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Well, this explains a lot.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Sep 15, 2022 2:02 pm

That photo was taken of him at the end of Mane Street about the time Kalamity Dick was converting the Pastio Gruniflex from direct current to vacuum.
WurletcKD.jpg
The claphicorn valves were restricting flux and scuffing the whizzerniods. By lapping them with mink wax and rotating the gumbleyers to a slighter angle, full griffuling could be attained at the same revolutions per minute.
A more detailed report was included in the exspecrtum.
Thanks for asking.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Sep 15, 2022 7:31 pm

It's always fascinating to me how these posts are all so intertwined in detail, that gives the whole story to the interprid reader of facts. Let me explain. First we return to Herb's interesting photo, which shows Saddlestring prominent citizen Henry Gumbolt giving his mother an afternoon promenade on his mare, Morwenna. Mrs. Gumbolt, being a mummer herself, avidly supported the mummers' union.

Though it appears odd, Henry was ever wont to mount his horse above the withers looking backwards. He claimed that being seated on the horse's mane was a more comfortable ride, and being somewhat paranoid, opined that the horse was perfectly capable of looking forward, but rear view was severely restricted, and why should both of them be looking the same direction anyway, when a full gamut of vision could be so easily attained ?
D
Gumble often traveled the same route in town, wags at Ernie's Saloon soon started calling it "Mane Street" even though it was a back alley.

And there you have the background for this captivating photograph of Kalamity Dick at work on yet another mechanism pivotal in the development of the Basin's early economy.

Bartholomew is currently at work on a monograph which discusses the history of mink wax. It will appear in the next installment.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Sep 15, 2022 9:02 pm

It's a rather unconventional style, but it actually makes a good deal of sense. No harm in having what amounted to an organic rear vision camera, as well as a co-pilot. Six eyes are better than none. John Wayne and his sort would have done well do adopt a similar riding style, given the fact that they were forever being pursued by armed ruffians or whooping bands of savages, and I'd think the various fair dansels in distress, rather than thrashing around in the brush in a ball gown, or being tied to the railroad track, or carried off by bands of whooping savages, would surely rather have ridden horseback out of the foul ruffians' clutches, incidentally keeping Mr. Wayne's firearms loaded and steering the galloping horse away from the various precipices, whooping bands of savages unexpectedly darting out of side canyons, and herds of stampeding cows while John dispensed leaden justice to the malcontents.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Sep 18, 2022 4:10 pm

I think I heard about this years ago. It seems the particulars about the explosion are obscure. I think there are still foundation stones on the vacant lot on fourth street in Chugwater, at least when they mow over there, they leave a row of grass that looks like the outline of a building. I think one of Ernie's great grandsons has that lot now. I doubt if he does anything with it. At one time I heard they were going to make it into a park with a statue of Happy Sally in the middle of it. With the way times are now I doubt that anyone would agree to that. My how times have changed.
disastre.JPG


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Sep 18, 2022 4:57 pm

Why is the naked lady in the right side of the picture running away?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Sep 18, 2022 4:58 pm

Flywheel explosion.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Sep 22, 2022 2:43 pm

That may be Happy Sally herself, not running away but posing for the June calendar photo.
If we zoom in a bit, we can clearly see Jasper and Flanagan, at right, having a borborygmus contest. Relief to them but not to the others. Also, the surprised individuals inside at the bar wondering if this will delay the delivery of their beverages.
4thSt.jpg
One may note that the Guilderfuke in the foreground has the ventrificated whizzlar windings rather than the Van Bockle's as was standard. Kalamity was generous in doing so for Ernie as well as Skippy and the proletariat.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Sep 26, 2022 1:16 pm

It was never proven but rumors have it that Slug Spadaford, or one of his gang, caused the afore pictured explosion. An under estimation of the powder to blow the safe generated much more devastation to not only the building but the liquid refreshments therein.
Slug3.jpg
This is a rare snapshot of the notorious and vicious thug Slug receiving some safety tips from KD. Dick had also miss-measured concoctions of black powder, ground vanadium and pickle juice with horrendous results. A short list of survivors appeared on the Bazooka Bubble Gum Wrapper in September of '24.
You may note that Slug had dressed especially for the meeting with KD and kazoo practice following the consultation.
All for not, the safe was filled with Cracker Cake Biscuits rather than money.
Mockingjays still peck the grounds for crumbs.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:27 am

The above photo obviously taken quite late in KD's career, after Slug's release from the Wyoming state penitentiary. Sentenced to thirty years for multiple felinies, he only served twenty-five. Released on parole for behavior, he vowed to do good, and immediately sought out KD for advice on concocting mild explosives. It's unclear what his intentions were. In the interest of pure science, KD apparently forgave Slug for his transgressions of former years, but Cuthbert never did.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Sep 29, 2022 2:38 am

In reading period reports, it seems the varsity league was dominated by the
Mummer's Union and their arch rivals, the Whooping Savages. The Mummer's
Union favored a defensive game, while the Whooping Savages were all offense.
The aforementioned statue of Happy Sally was requisitioned by the Varsity
League Council in 1920 and tops the Championship Memorial at the foot of
Pispacattiquattimauken, by the pier and marina. But most of us know that
from our time down at lakeside during the Regatta.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Sep 30, 2022 11:48 am

I read the reports too and it reminded me of how much the movie "Big Band on fourth Street" reminded me of the afore mentioned incident.
BigBang.jpg
Filming had been delayed by the Mummer's Union Strike and much of the custard spoiled. The love scene at the Marina was cut as well as Rapunzell's dance sequence. I tried to get a copy at Blockbusters, but it is a lingerie shop now.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Sep 30, 2022 2:25 pm

Rapunzell eventually disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Eventually, it was determined that she had been mistaken for a haystack while walking alone in a rural district and was baled. Dolly Parton only narrowly escaped a similar fate back in '68.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Oct 01, 2022 1:06 am

Polly Darton was the only woman to be crowned Miss Nutmeg Incident
AND Queen of the Regatta twice ! She was instrumental in the Mummer's
defensive play execution during the "big game", as well as being a lifelong
friend of Grunda Fulpants. She also served as the vice-chair of the Uvula
League for 31 years, starting in 1923.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 01, 2022 12:21 pm

Lots of interesting Chugwater history to mull over. Most folks have no idea that the Tri-burg basin presented a treasure-trove of movie-worthy subjects to aspiring Hollywood types. Benedict recently discovered a file in the Institute's basement lavatory marked "Hollyweed" [sic]. Here are a few of the photos pertinent to the movie "Big Bang":

A promotional still of Hugo Wittoutme sporting his trademark cee-gar. Sadly, he met an untimely end when he choked on it at the 1939 Academy Awards when Moe Howard slapped him on the back, in exuberant congratulations over his nomination for "best cuspidors" in the film "Bigger Bang", a sequel to the original film. We miss you, Hugo !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 01, 2022 12:27 pm

Polly Darton was passed over for the leading female role in favor of Rapunzel (nee Ayla Horkheimer). Difficult to understand why Wittoutme passed her over, as she was "quite a dish" as the Hollyweed types would say. Here she is in bathing attire, assisting the lifeboat crews during the Regatta that year.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 01, 2022 12:36 pm

Lastly, the mystery of Rapunzel's disappearance was solved when she was released from a hay bale in a feedlot near Saddlestring mere days after the incident. Adopting a fashionable "flapper bob", she vowed never again to grow her hair out, and turned her interests from acting to aviation. Here we see her at the controls of her Ladewig-Spindell monoplane, with controls designed by Kalamity Dick. She became a well known aviatrix, famous for her barn-storming performances even in clement weather.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Oct 01, 2022 3:10 pm

Larue Langutth.jpg
I really knew this guy. His name was Larue Langutth.
Here he is seen in a prototype mockup of a plane he was recreating.
Last I heard it never got off of the ground.
I wonder if he knew Rapunzel.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Oct 02, 2022 1:30 pm

Hienrich found a letter from Rapunzel addressed to Larue Langutth but never opened. I'm not sure of the in tent there.
As in any Wittoutme presentation, close attention to detail and an endless search for punctiliousness was the key. Polly's portrayal of Carabosse would have no doubt made the picture greater as shown in the screen test here. However, Horkheimer brought a rich solicitousness and empathy much like the blend of taste and smell in a crema Catalana.
Bangset.jpg
Consequently, she landed the part of Maleficent in "Man Without Burlap".
The Barrymore's were furious.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Oct 02, 2022 2:25 pm

Un-bound maidens were quite rare in those days.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sun Oct 02, 2022 3:13 pm

Moviegoers were perennially gratified by Mary Creamhower's performances in the many roles she portrayed in Wittoutme's blockbusters. From leading lady to cameo roles, her acting was stellar. Some say she was the inspiration for "crema Catalana".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Oct 03, 2022 12:18 am

Of puzzlement to everyone in the courtroom that day, Slug
Spadaford (representing himself in the case of the wobbling
wombat) argued that "Polly Darton" and "Crema Catalana" were
the same, except for the difference in letters. Unable to convince
Slug to show the relevance to his case, Judge Hangum had Slug
placed in a vat of baked beans until St. Swithen's Day that year.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sat Oct 08, 2022 11:04 am

Experts differ on whether wobbling wombats cause polar drift, or are caused by it. However, 97% do agree that the situation is grim, and that the crisis cannot be ignored. Absent expert consensus, we are reduced to relying on Science. However, Science has as yet been unable to get a definitive statement from Mother Gaia, so we'll have to continue dodging the wobbling wombats, at least for now. Meanwhile, amid rising controversy, Elon has landed another massive grant from the Federal Department Of Massive Grants. (FDOMG) The funding is to be applied to resolving the question of whether massive quantities of clean, safe electrical energy can be extracted from ever-increasing polar drift via enormous electrical coils located in vacuum canisters on giant floating platforms in the rapidly-warming polar seas. Advocacy groups acting on behalf of the Polar Bear Community have already filed several lawsuits alleging serious harm, and more are expected as TikTok influencers, community organizers, pop celebrities, and other non-ursine stakeholders reach out to one another in a collective effort to raise public awareness of the deepening crisis. Meanwhile, Activists In Solidarity With The Seal Communities (AISWTSC) spokespersons are demanding massive new funding for much-needed, in-depth investigations of Musk and his questionable relationship with both the FDOMG and the overwhelmingly "white" Polar Bear Community.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Oct 08, 2022 3:43 pm

The helix mill contracted Snerddley and Bentoffer to swat the wobbling wombats as they came through the venturi. They became quite proficient at it until the Uvula Leage imposed rules on the practice.
Toolmen.jpg
Meanwhile, KD and Cuthbert tuned both the Girhaniphone and the Q-Catch in hope of diverting them past the Mickelson coils.
I can't say enough about the floating platforms.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 08, 2022 4:39 pm

Truly, not enough has been said about the floating platforms. Both Snerddly and Bentoffer volunteered for duty with the lifeboat crew (pictured below). No doubt the ululations of the warbling wombats added to their instability in heavy seas. Or did I make another error in transcription ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sat Oct 08, 2022 5:18 pm

The platforms could be made somewhat like giant metal film cannisters, several acres in size, and fitted with sails to make them revolve in the brisk polar winds. Once a platform was up to speed, the wombats would come under the influence of the artifical gravity imparted by the motion, which would fling the gyrating wombats to the inside outer circumference of the platform. That would stabilize them, thus diminishing the nuisance of careening wombats, but the power generating function might be compromised. That could be offset, according to an obscure paper found among KD's files, by manning the platforms with doughty crews of experienced sailors such as the ones pictured above, and adding cow magnets to the wombats. With expert management of the sails, each platform could be maintained in vigorous circular motion, and the centrifugally-stabilized and cow-magnetized wombats would assure a steady and quite substantial production of current. Indeed, Tesla himself suggested that once the platform motion reached 78 RPM, the electrical effects would become self-sustaining due to a complex interaction with the Earth's magnetic field with no further input impetus required. Stabilized magnetic wombats could then be hurled through the air to the far corners of the planet at little or no cost for the benefit of all. As a side benefit to the supply of cheap power, the polar drift might be stabilized, or perhaps not, but we'd at least be free of the wobbling wombats, and the trolleys would run on time, and the matinee would always start at 3 o'clock sharp.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:38 am

Going back through the records, I see no mention of Kalamity's
work on applying an electric starter to the matinees. yet his success
in the matter got front page coverage throughout the 1923 publishing
calender of Wombat Weekly. I guess we can presume that prior to
perfection of this device, the matinees were crank start, correct ?
More people are doing it today than ever before !


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Oct 09, 2022 9:36 am

The majority of them were, until the Mermaids' Strike of '08. That idled most of them.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:54 am

"KDs electric starter for the matinees" was written up in "Habitat for the Matinees" Vol.6 No.4.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:37 pm

Cocked roof.JPG
Oh, the humanity!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Oct 09, 2022 2:25 pm

That's a very rare photograph of the results of a mysterious, sudden and uexpected explosion at Dr. Pogue's secret laboratory. The newspaper chitter-chatter said "volatile fumes" and "an errant spark" caused the disaster, but we know better!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Oct 10, 2022 2:22 am

Using the kaphistulator seen in pix way earlier in this tome,
Kalamity Dick was able to festerbate the roof structure above
the damaged building, long enough for the wall repairs to be
made. The Helix Mill depended on Dr. Pogue's work at the secret
laboratory to keep them on the cutting edge of ore processing,
and were in no mood to let this matter not get fixed.
More people are doing it today than ever before !

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Oct 10, 2022 1:12 pm

If we zoom in, we can see Dr. Pogue smiling as neither the final solution nor the paperwork was damaged in the blast.
Pogue.jpg
His cat Suzzie survived also and went on to play the violin at Carnage Hall.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Oct 10, 2022 6:19 pm

Suzzie was Dr. Pogue's laboratory assistant and constant companion. The fact that Doc Pogue regularly tested various medicinals on her never seemed to make her resentful. Dr. Pogue was unique among practitioners for his ability to "pill" cats without serious blood loss (to the doc - not the cat). Suzzie's Carnegie Hall performance was reportedly posthumous. She contributed the strings for Leland Quadzinger's Stradivarius. Quadzinger played first chair with the Medicine Bow Philharmonic. He was noted for playing musical chairs. Phil Batchelder played harmonica. Thanks to Bartholomew for the picture of Suzzie in a reflexive mood. She didn't always land on her feet. Possibly a side effect of the doc's nostrums ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Oct 11, 2022 1:33 am

I have heard it said that Suzzie always landed on the couch.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Oct 13, 2022 12:46 pm

Dr. Pogue insisted "It wasn't the vanadium sulfate that killed her. She was dead when I took her out of the vise".
KDcat.jpg
The good Doctor learned his cat skills while in southeastern New York. Suzzie not only played the violin but was a gourmet cook. The two took long naps after a round of Chicken Souvlaki with Tzatziki or Squirrel with Risotto and Caramelized Onions.
Pogue might have lived a long, healthy life if not for overeating and the Devil Springs Vodka at Ernie's.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Oct 13, 2022 3:22 pm

The cat was obliged to use the sofa because of a malfunctioning LOTF (land on the feet) response, which was later traced to the cat's own electromagentic field intermittently interacting with the Earth's magnetic poles, which had begun to drift due to the activities of the rascally wobbling wombats, who are thought by some to be one of the several shape-shifted manifestions of the Ancient Aliens. Cats falling sideways is but one peculiar effect of the migrating poles. Other scholars, including some un-named Experts, theorize that the Aliens have a secret hive deep within the Rocky Mountains where they keep abducted farm animals from all over the world. Chef Menteur is said to have interned there. Perhaps not surprisingly, his Chicken Souvlaki was awarded several gold medals at Paris in the years leading up to the war.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Oct 13, 2022 11:28 pm

Old peppersass.JPG
An example of cognitive power.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Oct 14, 2022 1:12 am

Ah, the cog-driven hrududu that Dr. Pepper operated to access the
alien hives, deep in the Rocky Mountains. Few photos are known of
the early version (shown here). Kalamity Dick provided much theory
and oversight in the development of the craft, and fabricated both the
eileel drive gears and the penticular maxad bearings, allowing the machine
to pull up the track behind it and lay it down in front of it, making it possible
to pretty much take it anywhere. Something the aliens were amazed by.
More people are doing it today than ever before !


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Fri Oct 14, 2022 9:22 am

An inspiration to one Mr. Holt, no doubt.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Oct 14, 2022 3:35 pm

Yes, I recognize the KD influence on the penticular maxad bearings now. I had to cogitate on it a while. Dick used a helicograph to design the eileel system and a lexicograph on the outer limerick windings. Several critics were repudiated.
KDPpprsas.jpg
Suzzie as well as a few Ancient Alien Cats enjoyed the ride up and then roller skated down the dugway. That was way before helmets or kneepads so trips to the husbandrist were frequent.
I like to think of it as lacerations for learning.
But then, I'm allergic.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Oct 14, 2022 8:41 pm

I too am allergic to work; it makes me break out in a sweat.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sat Oct 15, 2022 9:07 am

Getting the smokeless anthracite coal up to the firebox would have been work. Perhaps some sort of auger feed, pedal-driven by the engineer, was employed.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 15, 2022 1:24 pm

Hubert "Hub" Stemcastle spent a lifetime removing the smoke from smokeless anthracite just so the cognitive efforts of the inventors would operate pollution free. Most authorities on Kalamity Dick's early influences agree that his preference for wearing a top hat was homage to Mr. Stemcastle, whom he greatly admired. In this only known photo portrait of Hubert Stemcastle he is wearing the medal presented to him by the Uvula League for forty years of sobriety.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Oct 16, 2022 2:27 am

Stemcastle was admired by Kalamity Dick, largely because of
his intellect for all things mechanical and strategic sense of fashion,
but even moreso for his keen business sense that tied it all together.

Looked upon as a vital link in Dr. Pepper's cog railway operations, on
account of the smokeless anthracite, but Stemcastle built a massive
fortune removing the smoke, but also in selling it to eastern markets,
where industry needed huge amounts of smoke for their factory stacks.
Later, Stemcastle would expand that market to include selling to the
culinary trade, in the form of "smoke flavoring".

Stemcastle purposely kept the low profile of a poverty bound pauper
to avoid the attention of hooligans and n'er-do-wells, like the Spadaford
Gang, but in reality was by far the wealthiest man in the Tri-Burg area.
His endowments established the Institute and sustain it through the trusts
he set up. Stemcastle dreamed up and promoted the Regatta into the Inter-
-national tourist extravaganza it is today. Chugwater and the entire Basin
would not be what it is today without the accomplishments of Hubert "Hub"
Stemcastle.

It might be noted that Stemcastle was another Basin resident that also
enjoyed the rewards of having two left feet.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Oct 16, 2022 10:14 pm

donkey pull.JPG
Well, here is something you don't see every day.

Was this a ride that happened during the regatta?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Kaiser » Mon Oct 17, 2022 4:07 am

Powered by a donkey engine, a custom passed on from the steampower era...
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 8-)
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Mon Oct 17, 2022 10:19 am

To pass a slower vehicle, just honk the horn for an instant burst of power.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:24 pm

The Larkvonnet's were kind enough to invite various members of the community to ride along on Sunday outings. Here we see Hubert and Beatriz on a similar excursion.
Hubb.jpg
The Overland ran smokeless, and several gears had been deep fried.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Tue Oct 18, 2022 2:32 pm

The Larkvonnets were a thrifty couple. Emmalina was allergic to gasoline, and Ephraim felt there was no need to waste good mule power so long as Aldo (the mule) was young and sound. They were in no hurry anyway, and it would have hurt Aldo's feelings to have been left home when an outing was planned. He was something of a pet, Emmalina had raised him from a colt, and always saved a raspberry scone just for him on St. Swithin's Day.

Ephraim was a bit sensitive to community opinion, but confronted ridicule with the retort, "What's yer beef, anyway ?? It's still a horseless carriage !!"

Things worked out well, there were less than 90 hours on the Overland's engine when Ephraim passed away in 1939. Deep frying preserved the gears.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Oct 19, 2022 4:39 pm

Very true Rich. All the more reason for KD to use a forged cleftor in the cyclovaporifone rather than the usual cast bauxite one. He and Cuthbert puzzled for hours at Ernie's over the slippage in the vespollizer. All indications seemed to be at the bottom of the cycle.
KDfone.jpg
Both Estus Gyre and Winiflug Gimble had been fortunate to get the same results from deep frying the pinion but with the Regatta approaching that would only last for so long. Hubert expressed his own opinion but again was out voted.
There lies the rub.
Recorded on the 19th.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Oct 20, 2022 1:15 am

Aldo the mule lived during the period when mushroom stands were a
common sight across the Basin. Ephraim noted that Aldo both liked
the mushrooms, and got greatly improved mileage, ... even if the exhaust
was a tad odiferous. Emmaline knitted Aldo some winter socks from
the stray mushroom moss commonly found scattered along the roads.
Back then, loads were rarely covered and bits of moss blew off. It was
the deep fried mushroom stands that gave KD and Cuthbert the idea of
deep frying the gears. Careful study of the above photos confirms that
Aldo had FOUR left feet !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Oct 20, 2022 8:04 am

I see KD Festus and another fellow in the above photo. What does the third man have in his mouth. It almost looks like he is a pirate with a knife!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Oct 20, 2022 10:21 am

I believe that's an early type of manual frustrum demaculater. They were quite effective, if only in skilled hands.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Thu Oct 20, 2022 11:00 am

Herb Iffrig wrote:
Thu Oct 20, 2022 8:04 am
I see KD Festus and another fellow in the above photo. What does the third man have in his mouth. It almost looks like he is a pirate with a knife!
Herb, that's not "Festus": decades later, the character from the TV series "Gunsmoke" bore a coincidental resemblance to Cuthbert "Mad Dog" Maddox, Kalamity Dick's longtime friend, traveling companion, assistant and part-time collaborator. References to his modest contributions have appeared in these annals since the very beginning.

The "pirate" has been identified as Ragnar Valparaiso, maintenance foreman at the Silver Bow Skunk Works, who was on loan for the project. That's a rat-tail file in his mouth, both his hands are busy. The shop was over-run with the pesky rodents, and Ragnar was a rapid rat wrangler.

(The first three attendees who can say "Ragnar the rapid rat wrangler" eight times in under ten seconds will win a handsome, leather-bound copy of Volume I of The Adventures at the Institute's Fall Conference and Mushroom Feed. Consult the prospectus for details. )
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Oct 20, 2022 5:38 pm

I tried but I can't say it 8 times. Oh well.
Thanks for the confirmation of Cuthbert. I also had though it was him, but he does look a lot like Chester from Gumsmoke. That "Mad Dog" look in the eyes is usually confirmation.
10″ Rat-Tail with about 9″ of tooth pattern I'm guessing, with tang.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Oct 20, 2022 7:21 pm

So that's why rats' tails have no fur. I suppose that there are rat tail inspectors to see to it that no rat's tail goes un-filed.
Some have asked: "Why? Why do such a thing?"
"You may ask the flowers", as M. Fahnstock said, "Perhaps they will know".
Petitions of inquiry directed to the Ancient Aliens have elicited no clarification, perhaps due to rising sea levels having displaced the Kraaken, to the relief of fair maidens everywhere.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Thu Oct 20, 2022 7:34 pm

Don't forget tomorrow night is Karaoke night at Ernie's and everyone who participates gets free pickled chicken lips!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Oct 21, 2022 12:14 pm

This karaoke night promises to be a wing-ding. It will be a tribute
to Major Bungalo (you remember Major Bungalo, right ?), and feature
a Dionne Warwick impersonator, along with the Solid Mold Dancers.

In Major Bungalo's day, the Solid Mold Dancers were tops in their
class, touring the mushroom stand circuit year round, much to the
delight of the mushroom moss workers that labored heavily to fuel
the trade.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Oct 21, 2022 12:37 pm

Harvesting chicken lips.
They were imported. Quite the delicacy!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 22, 2022 12:58 pm

Ah yes ! Harvesting wild chicken lips in the old country. What a delicacy ! But with import duties and scarcity of supply, priced out of reach for most Tri-burg residents.

Cuthbert attempted to raise domestic home-grown lips to fill the demand. Unfortunately, in the high desert environment, his stock tended to grow teeth as well, and the lips were too small and of indifferent quality to make the venture profitable. Hand-raising individual birds was laborious and time consuming. Here we see Cuthbert's sheepdog caring for a new hatchling.

All the individual attention resulted in both Cuthbert and his dog growing too fondly attached to the birds. Yet another stumbling block to a profitable operation, but they made loyal, affectionate pets, if one didn't mind being nipped about the ankles. The eggs weren't bad either.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sat Oct 22, 2022 1:10 pm

Perhaps it was Cuthbert's affection for the birds that saved the area residents from the scourge of Chicken-fried Chinese Chicken Toes. The Chicken-fried Chinese Chicken Toes fad, or "craze", swept most of the country after inexplicabley emanating from the 1916 Columbian Exposition. The fad was short-lived due to the nationwide lard shortage resulting from unprecedented demand related to The War. Attempts to subsitute Chinese Boiled Chickentoes never caught on. After The War, the novelty food market was flooded with items like candy bars and Wrigley's gum, and Chicken-fried Chicken toes, of whatever nationality, were relegated to canned pet foods and a few niche markets.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Oct 22, 2022 11:02 pm

Reports in the early 20's editions of Glassblower & Inktender's Weekly
indicated another obstacle to producing authentic pickled chicken lips
was replicating the pickling process. The shortages, as a fallout of the
Nutmeg Incident, left Tri-Burg area picklers in a real bind for seasonings.
Those accustomed to full-flavored pickled chicken lips suffered deep
culinary disappointment with the first of many attempts to produce a
robust, traditional pickled chicken lip. Sales faltered, supply was spotty,
and before momentum could be recovered, the public had moved on to
chocolate and mint treats. The people of Calhoun County have a long
history being so demanding of first rate quality.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sun Oct 23, 2022 9:55 am

It has been said that green persimmon juice was the secret ingredient in the pickling fluid. Others insist that a spritz of embalming fluid and a pinch of alum were the secret. As for the authentic, original pickling fluid formula, perhaps only Dr. Pogue knows for sure.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Oct 23, 2022 12:35 pm

Apparently, Eye of Newt could be substituted for Pinch of Vanadium.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sun Oct 23, 2022 1:40 pm

In the marketing crisis that resulted from substandard pickling recipes, Newt Gimcrack, loyal employee of the short-lived Saddlestring Pickle Juice & Skunk Works Factory made the ultimate sacrifice in the company's effort to regain industry dominance. Frustrated by the fickle public's preference for chewing gum, he applied for a position with Hathaway Shirts, but was turned down for the lack of a neatly trimmed mustache. Returning to the Basin, he eked out a poor living by holding up stray moss barges on Lake Chugwater. It was the only known case of piracy on the high seas in Calhoun County. Photo is Newt at his arraignment.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Oct 23, 2022 10:39 pm

Heinrich came by on his surrey and left this recent photo of Dr.
Pogue's pickle plucker. Completed in 1921, under the guidance
of Kalamity Dick and Major Bungalo, it was modified after the
collapse of the pickled chicken lips market to harvest pickles
directly from the pickle quarry fields.

Calhoun County remains a leader in pickle mining to this day.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Oct 24, 2022 12:06 am

fish story.JPG
There must be a fish story here!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Mon Oct 24, 2022 10:21 am

For the upcoming annual Winter Ice Ball and Blizzard Fiesta at the Institute, Volume II of the Adventures will be given to the first five attendees who can say "lucky plucky open pit pickle pluckers" ten times in under fifteen seconds.

Mail a self addressed, stamped postcard in care of Heinrich to reserve your tickets
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Oct 26, 2022 1:25 pm

KD's plans to hypnotize and enter the giant guppy in the free style race at the Regatta fell through when they realized it conflicted with the Skippy Spadaford Memorial checkers tournament.
SnFsh.jpg
The terminal Cafe eventually bought it and served it as Armilla Souffle. It wasn't that bad served with Turmeric Spice.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:54 pm

Was that the Turmeric Incident?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Oct 27, 2022 1:12 pm

Herb Iffrig wrote:
Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:54 pm
Was that the Turmeric Incident?
It might well have been, Herb, if not for the afor mentioned Checkers Tournament. After the arduous amelioration following the Nutmeg Incident, all three factions were at odds over seasoning of the mushroom groves. Many gathered arms and munitions in preparation for a full-fledged feud but with the restrictions of only using the dark squares and scrutiny over jumping one's opponent it was set aside temporarily. During the interim the Portobellos and Colonel Mustard noted that normal shipping cost outweighed the benefits. Thus, the Deviation from the customary.
Thanks for asking.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Thu Oct 27, 2022 1:47 pm

"Down to the sea in ships"?
Best you don't. Better to walk down to the sea, or take the tram, or ride a donkey, but never a ship! You'll ruin the bottom for sure!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Oct 27, 2022 11:35 pm

At the Tuesday night meeting, Heinrich gave a repeat discertation
on the perils of ruined bottoms, complete with slideshow. The original
presentation followed Heinrich's trip to the big city and the shock over
what he encountered.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Fri Oct 28, 2022 6:23 am

After the weeklong struggle to put her stretch pants on the two ladies went to town to get something to eat
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Fri Oct 28, 2022 2:48 pm

The Institute's Governing Board regretfully announced Heinrich's suspension from the research staff effective immediately, owing to the injurious nature of this last presentation.

Several patrons and most of the research staff reported acute loss of vision, dizziness, headaches and recurring nightmares as a direct result of the visual presentation. Not since the image of the naked sidecar pianist was posted has any media presented to these boards resulted in such suffering and emotional consternation.

The research staff as well as our many contributors are therefore cautioned to consider the possible consequences when presenting topics that, to be charitable, have nothing to do with Kalamity Dick, or Tri-Burg history.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Oct 29, 2022 1:48 am

Tying loose ends together, in his interview with Horror & Consternation
staff writer Pründip Wongelschnurtz, published in their June, 1942 edition,
Kalamity Dick said that his greatest creative regret was creating the fabric
that would later be used to make yoga pants.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by TXGOAT2 » Sat Oct 29, 2022 10:53 am

While Yoga Pants do not currently enjoy the favor they once did, the specialized fabric is now widely used in manufacturing heavy duty tires for mining equipment.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Oct 29, 2022 12:01 pm

Somehow, I was reminded of another of KDs inventions. The "Cell-U-Lite'" was an off chute of the sintered pryangle and the velpopitrc Femolimare.
cellcore2.jpg
It was made to operate on the Van Bockle principal but without pre-chilling.
Sold in only the finest establishments.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sat Oct 29, 2022 1:40 pm

The Van Bockle Principle has been referred to many times in discussions of Kalamity Dick's inventive triumphs. It's time we looked into what little is known of the obscure principles of physics that Armitage Q. VanBockle pioneered.

Now promoted to the position of Senior Researcher of the Institute Archives, Bartholomew has been at liberty to study the Van Bockle papers. First off, he was able to provide this image of Armitage during his study of the effects of a leguminous diet on the gastric murmurations of canine species. (No, he is not deceased, but deep in a cogitation trance,his preferred method for deep thought)

Analysis of periodic gaseous emanations figured into KD's development of the patented Cell-U-Lite. The bees were optional, but the honey was delicious.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Oct 30, 2022 1:42 am

Is it possible that Van Bockle and Pründip Wongelschnurtz were the
same person ? The question was raised at the Tuesday meeting in August,
and in the intervening time, neither Heinrich or the staff could produce
a single photo of these two together in the same room. Their likeness
is uncanny.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich P. Bingham » Sun Oct 30, 2022 10:59 am

Unfortunately, a cursory review of Heinrich's recent work up to his suspension shows that as early as August he had become obsessed with "bottoms", calling into question how that distracted from his serious research.

As for Wongelschnurtz, Bartholomew located copies of his death certificate dated 1900. VanBockel outlived him by some forty years. In this appended photograph, Miss Aspidistra Hamtrack, famous Chugwater medium (actually she was a plus size) attempted to contact Prundip's spirit. She was shocked by the presence of a protoplasmic emanation which amazed photographer Aswold Addams by appearing on the photographic plate. It remains unclear whether the emanation was Wingelschnutz' spirit, as Miss Hamtrack was struck dumb by the incident, and thus unable to relate any communication from the "presence".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Oct 30, 2022 3:17 pm

Armitage Q. and Pründip both encouraged Ernie to continue to make use of vacuum tanks and ignore the ban by the Troposphere Guild.
Little could be proven that vacuum was unnatural and inexplicable. Evil, supernatural and of the occult were the claim and fear ran rampant in the Valley for a time.
Ernieeee.jpg
Homogenizing Happy Sally, Gum Wort and Spirytus Rektyfikowany thru the emptiness of space made it not only invulnerable to Baccarat but inoffensive to the Pythagoreans.
The general diagrams and table of contents can be found in the previous month's Horror & Consternation.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Nov 01, 2022 2:43 am

Let no one forget that it was General Diagram that led the troops
that brought about the end of the Nutmeg Incident. Major Bungalo
was third in command.
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